#medical emergencies

both my mother and my boyfriend got cancer over the summer (boyfriend got leukemia & mother got breast cancer) they both need serious surgeries next week & im scared i may lose one or both of them. they’ll will be bed-ridden for a month due to their surgeries and i don’t think i can handle it emotionally. help?

Oh, gosh. My heart goes out to you, and to your mother and boyfriend. What a nightmare.

I think all you can do is make sure your support network is in place, and put them all on high alert for the next month. Let everyone know what you’re going through and what you might need from them. You’ll be under a lot of stress and might need to call on them a lot for support, and you might not have the energy to show up for them the same way you usually do. Most friends are 100% okay with going into support mode when it is a short term thing and you alert them ahead of time. If you have local friends who will step up to the plate for you (or if your mother or boyfriend do!), ask if they would mind making time to help out in more concrete ways, even if it’s just once or twice: coming over with dinner, helping you clean up, or just making sure you get out of the house to catch a movie or take a good walk can make such a difference.

You’re not in this alone. Everyone who cares about you, your mother, or your boyfriend is going to understand that these are extraordinary circumstances and that you’re going to need extra support. Don’t be shy about calling on them! It isn’t selfish or demanding: this is what support networks are for!