#might delete

real talk: how do yall pussy having folk do pilates/yoga with leggies in the air without queefing uncontrollably

wow im going through my old journal entries and i’m furious to discover that i said i told my mom i wanted to see a therapist as early as november of 2015, but didn’t get one until december 2016. that was a whole year of continuously vouching for myself and trying to persuade my parents to hook me up with a therapist, and literally in the same month i started seeing her she was like you need to see a psychiatrist asap and then i was diagnosed with ptsd + depression, anxiety, and ocd. i’m just so retrospectively mad that it took that long to get help because i needed it badly.

man i continue to feel like the only students that witnessed me being abused and ever cared were just my friends. like im glad to have my friends but that’s like 20/600 bystanders. i still feel largely neglected and abandoned. it’s been 7 years and i still can’t get over the fact that they literally watched and did nothing for an entire schoolyear. that always fucking kills me. people have to literally remind me that my school’s neglectful behavior is not representative of all people on earth but 600 is a large sample size. i struggle with cptsd and bpd and they don’t care. it crushes me. i am still hurting and nobody who was involved actually cares about that.