#missed period sex connections
When life was much simpler and even more difficult, I found myself as a Missed Connection.
The story begins when I was trying to get back to my house in Bed Stuy. Of course, this is New York and the trains here just do whatever the hell they want to and I ended up having to go completely out of my way to get back home.
I did not plan for this journey to be long, so I left the close to full tampon in and knew that by the time I had reached home, there would maybe be spillage, but nothing ridiculous. Now, with my normal schedule rerouted, there I was on the un-air conditioned A train in the middle of a hot ass Brooklyn August day, sitting on the train with very little on and cramps and blood and all the stuff that comes with having an operating uterus.
At one point, I could feel it break. Knowing what my fate would soon be, I did a quick cross check, got up and looked at my seat. I was greeted with a pool of blood that was smeared all over the seat. Mortified, I turned bright red and began planning for my escape of the train.
When the train got to my stop, I burst out the door and ran the fuck home like god-jesus-and the police were coming after me. When I inspected the damage, it was like any 1st-2nd day period massacre and it took an hour to wash my skirt and underwear clean. Blood on my legs, ass-everywhere. It took so much wind out of my sails that day, that I locked myself in my room and hid in my menstrual hut for the next few hours. Later that night, a sympathetic friend took me out and we recounted our worst period stories in full on red wine laughter, leaving the incident behind as just another good cocktail story.
So imagine my surprise when the next day, I got an email from the same friend with a OMG WTF YOU WONT EVEN headline. See, at the time, we were both in shitty jobs that required no thinking whatsoever, thus, we ended up spending a lot of time on craigslist missed connections, casual encounters, and misc romance, because I guess we are humans who are voyeurs and thats that. Imagine my surprise when I clicked on the link to find the following missed connection:
You were bleeding like a stuck pig on the A Train. I was across from you and thought you were so incredibly sexy. I want to drink your blood and make you leave stains all over my house. Contact me at XXX-XXX-XXXX
And that was the night that the lights went out in Georgia.
You guys, heaven exists.
(My one and only foray into fiction was about Missed Connections, for a book that I later learned was supposed to be all true stories! I guess my editor thought it was real? I just cashed the check. Ssh.)
SORT OF RELEVANT: EROTICIZED BLEEDING THO
