#mldccrossover alya cesaire
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Ivan was never the smartest guy, he knew that, but what he lacked in brain he thought he more than made up in heart. That’s what his Mama always said and surprisingly that is what his former friend Marinette would also say to him when he was having a bad day. Contrary to popular belief, he and Mylène were not the perfect couple, they had their fights, they annoyed one another on occasion, they even took jokes too far. More often than he would care to admit it was because he put his foot in his mouth and said something stupid, or didn’t think things through and they would end up in a misunderstanding, but his mothers’ and Marinette were always there to help him cool down and think things through whenever he needed them. Before this whole Lila thing he used to be able to just call up Marinette whenever he needed help or just whenever he wanted to talk with her.
She was his person and he liked to think he was hers, she would vent about her frustrations with Alya and the Girl Group, she would lament her failures and by failures Ivan meant little mistakes that Marinette was overthinking but that was okay, he knew she couldn’t help it. That was something he didn’t like that the girls and some of the guys in class teased her about, her tendency to spiral, they acted like it was just one of her quirks or it wasn’t a big deal. It was no secret that Marinette had anxiety, but he didn’t know if the others knew she had to take medication for it, but then even if they didn’t they still shouldn’t tease her for something she can’t control. Ivan had even said as much to said girl, he would never forget the smile she gave him as she told him he was a loyal friend.
Loyal. The memory made his stomach tie into a knot. No, he was not loyal, not at all, he was a coward, he was weak and he had tricked himself into believing he was strong. He didn’t know when it happened, but at some point Ivan got it in his head that if he just kept Mylène happy no matter what, everything would be okay. It didn’t matter if she didn’t want to go to a concert with him because she would rather they go and protest some issue she was passionate about (never you mind the fact that passion seemed to change every month or so), it didn’t matter that he couldn’t play some of his favorite songs around her because she thought they were too scary (she only listened to one verse), and it didn’t matter that she never wanted to hang out at his parent’s house (the décor was too intense she said). He couldn’t really remember when it started exactly but he knew it was after Lila returned from her trip or whatever.
Apparently Mylène had gone to the girl and expressed her concern to the Italian about how often they fight, which he thought was a small amount but apparently his girlfriend didn’t agree and it had begun to make her question their relationship. Ivan had been heartbroken and desperate and when Lila gave him the advice to just make sure Mylène was always happy he took to it like a duck to water. He liked Mylène a lot, she was the first girl he ever actually considered confessing too. He had crushes, but with Mylène it was just different. The crush didn’t fade away like the others, no, in fact it grew day by day to the point he just had to tell her how he felt. She was important to him and oh so special, and well, he’s a teenage boy and this is his first relationship, of course he didn’t want it to end. So he took Lila’s advice and it was like he could think of nothing else but Mylène.
Then time passed, his bottled emotions grew and he was finally able to take a step back when his older sister was home from university and pulled him aside for a talk. She noticed how different he had been and that’s when it hit him. He had always been proud to be him, sure he had insecurities, what teenager didn’t? But he loved rock and metal music, he loved horror films, his favorite color was black, and yeah he wore eyeliner. All that stuff made him happy and he believed it was what made him, well him. The point was, he had been raised to be proud of who you are, no matter if what you are going through is a phase or not (he fondly remembered his sister’s pastel phase, and so did his parents) because ultimately even that is you. It is just you trying to find what you are most comfortable in and in some cases broadening your tastes. It was that talk with his sister that made him realize he had not been himself in a long time, and that really upset him.
He decided he needed to take a step back from everything and really take a moment for himself so he could reflect and just think. He maybe, sort of, forgot that the trip to Gotham had been coming up but it honestly was a blessing in disguise because it gave him time away from Mylène. Which was sad that he thought of that as a plus, but he needed time away from her because it was his time with her that had been what had changed him and not for the better. So yes, he was more than content to use this education trip as his own personal getaway from everything, even if it was only when they were back at the hotel since Mylène decided that this trip had to be some romantic thing for them. Ivan had already tried to tell her that this trip was an educational one and they should treat it as such and not mess around, more so because they were specifically in one of the most crime ridden cities in the world.
Apparently what he said had been ‘totally mean’ and ‘inconsiderate’ so Mylène was giving him the silent treatment until he apologized. Another bonus, only if she remembered she was ignoring him, because sometimes she would be talking to the girls and come over and hang on his arm the way Lila did to Adrien and it took a lot out of him not to pry her fingers off him. He remained polite though, his mothers’ did not raise a rude son, they always made sure he was polite because they knew people would always judge their family for their looks and choices. His Mum said politeness was a weapon and he truly believed her. So he made sure to always be polite when he reminded Mylène about the silent treatment and why he didn’t believe he had to apologize and maybe they both needed to think about it. The boys were surprisingly on his side, especially Nino. What was a big shock to Ivan was that even Juleka, not one for talking Juleka, had even stood up for him and taken his side.
Distantly he hoped he hadn’t caused any problems for her and Rose. He really liked his bandmates but he was closer to Juleka he would admit. They both were people of few words and were more comfortable being in the background even if they were proud of who they were. He and Juleka could sit there in silence for hours without it going awkward because they both knew they were hanging out even if they didn’t say anything, they just appreciated each other’s presence. Nowadays though, the two hadn’t been able to just hang out with each other like they used to and Ivan hated to point the finger without proof but he blamed Lila. Everything changed after her lengthy return after her first day in the class. Ivan hadn’t noticed at first, he was admittedly not the most observant, but by the time he noticed it felt like there was nothing he could do.
No. The feeling was true but he knew he could have done something, he could have stood up for Marinette when he finally saw just how horrible the class was being, he could have broken up with Mylène when he first noticed her change or even sat done with her and her dad and talked over with both of them how the girl had been changing and not for the good, he could have spoken up for Nino and Juleka when he noticed they had become the Italian’s latest “projects.” Everyone in the class that had sided with Lila had been changing, and it had not been for the better, not at all. That had become all the more clear when he had heard Alya say they had to teach Marinette a lesson. It was the way she said it, there was so much anger behind it and she said it out in the lobby of Wayne Tower with a bravado that told him she didn’t expect them to get in trouble. The sad truth was they wouldn’t, not with the blatant favoritism Mme Bustier gave Lila.
That was all Ivan could think of throughout the rest of the tour, then the hostage situation had happened and everything happened all at once and much too fast and it had been utterly, devastatingly overwhelming. His heart had still been racing by the time they had made it back to the hotel and even then he didn’t remember getting back on the bus, he didn’t even remember getting out of the lobby. It had taken a much needed bath and a long time of blasting music from his headphones as he laid on his bed before he finally felt himself come back into focus enough to realize they had left Marinette behind. They had left a classmate behind in a fucking hostage situation, and it made his stomach drop so harshly he thought for a brief moment that gravity had ripped it out of him. It made him rush to the bathroom to puke up whatever he had eaten for lunch because for the life of him he could not remember.
They really had left Marinette back there to an uncertain fate and Ivan had never been more grateful that he was the odd boy out with his own room considering Nathaniel had fallen ill before the trip. So no one was around when he broke down, he cried, he sobbed, he muffled his screams into his mountain of pillows and even then it hadn’t felt like enough. The grief he felt, the anger, the guilt, it was all too much and the string that had been precariously holding him together before the start of the trip snapped. He needed…well he wasn’t entirely sure what he needed, he knew what he wanted and that was to make sure Marinette was okay. He wanted the old Mylène back. He wanted Kitty Section together again and rehearsing and just planning out new performances. He wanted to be able to write songs with Rose once more without fear of her taking them to Lila for her “expert opinion.” Ivan wanted to hang out with a friend group that didn’t just stand around and listen to one person’s stories or opinions without getting to share their own.
Yes, Ivan wanted a lot of things.
But first he had to get his nausea under control.
So with great reluctance he pushed himself out of bed and walked out of his room determined to go downstairs to the lobby in hopes the restaurant was still open, if it wasn’t then he would try and find a vending machine, and if that all failed he would ask an employee to go into the bar section of the hotel for him. He needed sparkling water or something with ginger in it, or even peppermint tea. Though he loathed the stuff, his Mama always told him those were the best for nausea. It was after their curfew but…well they didn’t exactly have a teacher or chaperone around to enforce said curfew and it’s not like Mme Bustier actually did anything if she caught you outside your room, or so Alya and Lila had said after they told everyone they had to go to the lobby after curfew the first night because Lila absolutely needed something, something dumb he was sure. The girls said the most they got was a gentle admonishment and made to promise they wouldn’t do it again.
Yeah Ivan could see why Caline Bustier was being investigated and honestly he wished it had happened sooner. If it had, maybe Marinette wouldn’t have had to plan and prepare the trip for them all and do her best to make sure they were safe. You know, like the teacher should have done. Oh Ivan knew it was Marinette who had won them the trip and not Lila who had claimed it so. He had been so grateful to the pig-tailed girl, he had never left Europe before and he had been so excited to have the opportunity to do so. But that had been a childish dream, or that’s how it felt anyhow, because as soon as they got the trip started Caline Bustier continued to fail as a teacher. Once upon a time, Ivan would have claimed the woman was his favorite teacher but after all the shit she let slide and he had been witness to that shattered. Caline Bustier fell from her self made high-horse throne and Ivan didn’t care.
He was glad that Mlle Mendeleiv would be her replacement for the trip, no matter what others said about the teacher, Ivan respected her no nonsense attitude when it came to rules and safety in her classroom and lab. He knew they would be in good hands, along with whatever chaperones would be coming. It was those thoughts that renewed a bit of hope in him that things would look up, a little voice in his head reassured him that things would get better. It suspiciously sounded like Marinette. Ivan huffed at that and willed the ache in his chest to go away as he reached the lobby and was about to head to the restaurant to see if it was open when he saw a familiar person sitting on one of the chairs in the lobby’s lounge.
“Alya?”
Said girl jumped in her seat before turning her head and wiping her face, Ivan pretended not to notice. “Ivan. Hey.”
Ivan looked at someone he had once considered a friend, not a particularly close one, but a friend nonetheless and decided they needed to talk and just be there for one another. Even if both weren’t exactly that close. So he sat on the seat next to her, his quest for a carbonated drink or ginger one put on hold. “I’m not going to ask how you’re doing because that would be pretty dumb, but it is the polite thing to do. So how are you feeling, Alya?”
“I…” At first it looked like she was going to lie or laugh him off but after a minute the girl’s face scrunched up tight before it seemed like all the fight had left her as she sagged into the seat. “Not the best I admit.”
“Me too.”
“I just…I didn’t think. When we left, my mind was on Lila and I didn’t think…”
“Didn’t think of Marinette.” He didn’t pose it as a question because he knew.
Alya looked like she was about to snap at him for even speaking the ‘forbidden name’, but she merely bit her lip and nodded. “We left but I didn’t…I knew we left Marinette there. And before you yell or lecture me or whatever, I know, I know that’s bad. The police had a grand ol’ time letting me know that. It’s just…I really didn’t think Ivan. I didn’t think she would…”
Ivan had to take a deep breath, but he did get what she was trying to say. “You didn’t think she would get hurt. Or taken off the trip. But Alya, before you yell at me, what did you think would happen? Honestly? Because from where I have been sitting and seeing, you haven’t cared what happened to Marinette the moment this trip started.”
He held his hand up when it looked like she was about to argue. “Alya. You asked me not to yell, I asked you the same, please. Look. You and Lila and Rose and…and Mylène have all been making this trip hell for her. Like it or not but Lila tried to leave her back in Paris. You may not believe that but that’s how it came across. You guys talked Bustier into leaving the hotel early our first official day to tour and you guys didn’t care that we left her here. You didn’t care when her friends argued or worried. You guys didn’t care. I should have spoken up. I know I should have when I noticed what you guys were doing. That’s my fault. But…but I don’t think I believe you when you say you didn’t think she would get hurt or be hurt.”
It was quiet. The silence grew and grew and it was wrapped around them both like hands pressed to their throats. Tears were gathered in both sets of eyes but they had yet to fall. “We left her behind in a hostage situation. She had a gun to her head Alya…we had no way of knowing if she was okay and we left and I hate myself for letting us leave.”
Both were crying. “Ivan…I…”
“You’re a good person Alya. But…you…you’re not acting like yourself anymore. You may jump into things without thinking, be a bit short tempered, but you always strived for information. For proof. For justice. This? This isn’t justice. When you…When you suggested teaching Marinette a lesson in the lobby…it sounded like you were suggesting…” Ivan never spoke this much but he wanted Alya to listen. He wanted her to see exactly what was wrong, or at the very least plant a seed of doubt of some kind.
Alya gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, she was unbelievably pale. “Ivan…please, please tell me you didn’t think I was suggesting…Mon Dieu…beating Marinette up!”
Ivan shrugged half-heartedly. “That’s what it sounded like but I know you’re not like that.”
“Ivan, I swear that’s not what I meant!” Alya denied. “I just…I was so mad at her because of what she did to Lila, but I didn’t mean hurting her. I swear it. I meant like…getting even. Playing pranks or something. Calling her parents! But never, never would I mean hurting her! I…look, we may not be friends any more but that doesn’t mean I want her to be hurt or to hurt her.”
“I want to believe that, and I think you want to believe that too. I think you need to take a step back from everything and just think about what’s happened. Not just here, back in Paris too.” He advised.
Alya licked her lips before looking him in the eyes sharply. “Like you did? Like with Mylène?”
“That’s!…Yeah…Yeah like me. Like that. It’s been an experience…Mylène has changed and so have I and I’m not convinced either change was for the better. So I took a step back. I had hoped she would understand and I’ve been trying to give her space…” He admitted.
A voice, a familiar heart-breaking voice, cut off whatever Alya was going to say next and it had Ivan stiffen in his seat. “Ivan? Why are you down here with Alya? Alone?”
Mylène.
“Hey Mylène.”
Ivan tiredly watched as his girlfriend looked between him and Alya with a frown on her face, her hands on her hips and one foot tapping the floor impatiently. It would have brought him some amusement-she looked like a cartoon character-but he knew if he laughed it wouldn’t be appreciated. “You didn’t answer my question. Lila says-”
“Mylène.” Alya cut in as she stared at her friend in confusion and something else that Ivan could not identify but he was grateful that Mylène’s attention was not on him. “He…He wasn’t feeling well. I just wanted to see if he was alright.”
It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t the full truth but Ivan appreciated it all the same. “Yeah. I’m actually going to head to bed. Night girls.”
Without hearing their replies the boy got up and made his way to the elevators. He wasn’t one for many words, he didn’t really enjoy talking but this was one conversation he knew he would have to have many times over. For Marinette he would do it. For his friends he would do it. For himself…he would do it. So once he was on his level, Ivan squared his shoulders and passed his own room only to stop at another and knock. Once the door opened he stared down at a former friend, one he missed. He knew from experience that people found him intimidating given his size and his apparent ‘resting bitch face’ but Max just glared up at him with all his anger and determination. It made Ivan smile despite the situation.
“Can we talk please?”
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