#mo journal

Went to check on my plants. Somebody dug up my peas! Rascals! I have a feeling it was a squirrel.

When you have a psychotic disorder you question everything. I thought I was having an episode turns out it was a dove ‍♀️

So I haven’t been able to sleep at night.

I have taken it as a sign that I’m not working hard enough. I know, weird take. But hear me out.

Looking back, the only times I’ve ever felt tired at night were when I was working my ass off. Especially when I worked at a restaurant and closed. You have to deep clean the whole restaurant every night. When I got home at midnight I would pass out

So I’m clearly not expending enough PHYSICAL energy throughout the day to get me tired at night.

So my plan is to mimic my restaurant days and do physical labor in the evening. I will clean as much as I can (maybe even meal prep) each evening and I’ll let my relax time be earlier on during the day. Morning will be relaxing and evening will be physical work.

Time to get moving! ‍♀️