The last couple of years haven’t been easy. I went through an unhealthy relationship that ended in a not very nice breakup. I moved to another city where I only knew one person who a few months later decided that we couldn’t be friends anymore because of how I deal with my chronic illness/disability. Another friend, whom I had known for 10 years, also ended the friendship, apparently because I had changed. Almost none of my contacts survived my moving away. So I was alone in a new city when Covid arrived. In addition to that my heath got worse. It hadn’t been good for years, but at least I could do some things. But by the end of 2019 I wasn’t able to take care of myself anymore. But a few months had to pass by for me to ask for help. The people who saw that I needed help and supported me saved my life. It’s been a year since and staying at home doing nothing but concentrating on my health really has helped me. It’s been a lonely year, but that’s okay.
Normally I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions, but when 2021 came around I suddenly had gained enough strength to set three ‘goals’ for this year. Or let’s call them 'projects’, because whether I finish them or not - it will be a better year than the last few were. So the projects are:
- lose weight (yeah, I know, but I’m doing it for me and not because anyone says so)
- declutter my appartment
- get a dog
The last point actually was my therapist’s idea, because it would give me a reason to leave the house. And since I’m capable of taking care of a pet, we decided to put it on my list.
So far, I lost 13 kilos (28 pound), my flat is ¾ done - and I got a dog. It had been a lifelong dream of mine to own one and I still can’t believe it has come true. Her name is Pippa, she’s about 5 months old, and a Hrvatski Ovcar (Croatian Sheepdog). She’s such a lovely dog and I just love her. She spent her first few months roaming the streets of Gospic before being rescued and brought to Austria where I adopted her. She likes to cuddle and play ball and is just so happy all the time. My cat is not as happy as I am, but I’m pretty sure they’ll get along well.
This being said, I will dedicate this blog to Pippa’s and my journey getting to know each other and finding a way to live a life together - despite me having CFS/ME.
It’s been two and a half weeks now since she moved in and there’s one thing that I noticed the most: Some people suffering from CFS/ME say that they really benefit from pacing - doing something for a short while, resting, doing something and so on. I was never able to do that, probably because of my ADHD-brain being not satisfied with 'doing something for a short time and not finishing it before resting’. But ever since Pippa moved in, I’m forced to do pacing: She’s not house-clean yet, so I have to go outside every 1.5 hours. She’s still a puppy so she sleeps a lot - that’s when I can rest for an hour or two, before I have to go outside again. I never thought I would benefit from pacing, but I really do. It’s not that I’m healthy all of a sudden, but it helps me cope with the tiredness and fatigue.
To wrap things up… My life has changed big time and I’m so happy it has.
