#my lord and master
So, tonight I was supposed to have a date with Crayola, who likes giving out orgasms. It’s basically his thing. I was pretty excited, although there are some things about him that rub me the wrong way.
Then My Lord And Master* informed me that I won’t be having any more orgasms until he sees me, and no one is allowed in my panties except for him.
I talked to Crayola to tell him and, long story short, after hearing about just the orgasm thing, he was no longer interested in getting together today, and even seemed uncertain about getting together in the future. After talking with Legal Lolita about the whole thing, I’m actually okay with not playing with him in the future, for a couple reasons.
He asked if MLAM had known we were hanging out, and I said that yes, he did, and attempted to explain that, well, part of it was the fact that it might mess with one of my play relationships. That explanation made me feel embarrassed and a bit ashamed. I was revealing that no, this isn’t a game I’m playing. This is my reality. This man owns me. This man controls me.
(It makes me somewhat uncomfortable to involve other people in our dynamic, but, on the other hand, I have every right to say that I don’t want someone in my panties or touching me in ways that might make me cum. If I was super invested and interested in this person, I would likely have discussed it with MLAM more. If the level of bringing someone else into our dynamic had been higher, beyond me saying that I didn’t want to do certain activities, I also would have talked with him about it in terms of consent and the other person. I trust his judgement and his desire for me to thrive. I trust that he won’t interfere with relationships that are important to me, or mess with really good play partnerships with people I’m super compatible with, or who are friends as well as play partners. Obviously his decision is final, though. He owns me, which means he has the right to decide what I do, and with whom.)
*this nickname started as a joke, but now…
