acebotanist:

Lay With Me [Polly x Baxter]

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i might be back on my polly x Baxter bs OOP. this is set after peaky s05ep04 sans the thing that happens to Linda cause we just can’t address that right now fjkstrkt

i haven’t written them in forever but i really wanna start writing again,, so here it gOeS!!

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Brandy, in all it’s citrus and zest glory, has been the cause of Polly’s downfall on more than one occasion. The underlying floral taste has made it hard for her to pace herself, with each sip she feels closer to discovering which exotic flower has graced her pallet. So she sips, and sips, and sips some more and before she knows it she doesn’t know where she is, who she’s with and why she’s there. It’s not something she’s made a habit of —not since she first felt the itchy confines of a rope around her neck— but it happens. Tonight is one of those nights, between working along side The Chinese, Michael’s return to the company, and Aberama’s proposal, she finds herself chasing after the taste of floral brandy.

Shortly after the party is over and there’s no one in the grand house but family, she bids Thomas goodnight and makes her way up the marbled staircase. Well, at least she tries. She makes it exactly two steps up before stumbling to her knees. If only she’d been able to fake her soberness a while longer. She just needs a second to ground herself. Gracefully—as gracefully as she can at this point— she rights herself and slowly makes it a couple more steps. But only a couple, because the room in spinning and her heart is racing and she’s suddenly realized that she’s engaged.She sits promptly on the sixth step and huffs. She’s engaged. Polly looks down at the band around her finger and feels her heart skip a bit. She’d be lying if she said she’d only said yes just because of Tommy’s deal. No, she had harbored feelings for Aberama at some point, and if she squints she can imagine there’s more. It’s not a bad arrangement.

Although it all seemed so much easier on paper; she accepts his proposal so he honors the truce they have with the billy boys. A gang war is avoided and she weds someone who will without a doubt try to make her the happiest woman on the planet. However none of that takes into consideration the fact that there is a another pawn in this, invisible to everyone but Polly. Phyllis Baxter.

No. She can’t even think about her right now, not without her treacherous heart making her feel something.

Taking another breath, she braces herself and stands. The rest of the climb is easy, the thought of breaking Baxter’s heart has sobered her just enough to make it to the top, but in a second everything tilts and before she knows it she feels herself going down again. Except her body’s not met with plush carpet but rather warm hands. The subtle scent of lavender wafts around her as someone gently hoists her back up. She is vaguely aware of the fact that someone is speaking to her but she can’t concentrate. She knows this smell and these arms and this warmth. She knows it and now the room is spinning again and it’s not entirely the alcohol’s fault and she feels so sick because Baxter can’t be here. She remembers telling Baxter to stay home, that she’d see her in the morning. It’s not like she needed a lady’s maid to watch ballet, right? But somehow she’s here and Polly can’t breathe and she has the sudden urge to hide her left hand.

“Milady? Polly?”

Baxter’s voice finally breaks through the haze and Polly looks up at her with eyes as wide as saucers “Y-you’re not supposed to be here” she knows her eyes look wide and wild but this just cannot be happening right now

Baxter tries her hardest not to look offended but Polly sees right through it “Mr. Shelby called, he said you were…” she trails off and eyes her and Polly instantly knows she looks as drunk and she feels. The lady’s maid holds her a little firmer “and by all the noise you made on the way up, I think he was right. Come, I’ve already prepared your bed”

Polly watches as a flicker of disappointment crosses Baxter’s features before the woman looks down at her expectantly. Is she supposed to be answering a question? She wracks her brain for possible questions but really, how is she supposed to concentrate when Baxter is holding her so close and she feels warm and safe. All she can think about is being held like this forever, maybe that was Baxter’s question. “y-yes” She stutters out, tightening her grip

Baxter’s eyebrows briefly knit together “Alright, this way” she adjusts her hold and leads Polly to her room. She lets go of her once they’re inside and goes to peal the lush bed covers back “I’ll fetch your night clothes”

Polly stares at the large bed, thinking about every bed she’s been in and every bed she will be in. She thinks about being held and snuggled and cuddled by someone and how that person won’t be Baxter. Not anymore. Perhaps it’s the brandy, but that revelation hurts, a lot. She fiddles with the ring around her finger, a knot forming in her throat. When Baxter reappears with her clothes, she can already feel tears brimming “Forget the clothes” she says and waves a hand, only slurring slightly “lay with me”

Baxter falters, cheeks going pink “Ma’am?”

“I said lay with me.” She repeats herself, softer “I want you to hold me” she sits on the bed “God knows we’ve done worse” she kicks her heels off and lays back “just for a second” She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose because her head is pounding, she feels sick, and Baxter is being too slow. She wants to be held, snuggled, cuddled, spooned— right now. She wants Baxter to be the one to do it because she’s warm, and soft, and fits perfectly with her.

When she feels the bed dip she turns on her side —the secret little spoon—, and when an arm snakes around her waist and tugs her closer she feels like everything in the world is finally making sense. The swell of breast is a comfort against her back, as is the warm gentle breathe against her neck. She puts her hand on top of the one that rests against her stomach and relaxes.

She feels at peace this way, with her. Over the years Baxter has become her greatest comfort, her reprieve, her home. Shame settles deep in her belly when she reminds herself that she’s given that up but that’s tomorrow’s worry. Right now the only thing that matters is this moment because with Baxter at her side, she knows she can get through anything.