#narcissa malfoy angst
ღ a/n : i cried whilst writing this, so it should be no surprise if you tear up whilst reading it (but i doubt it since my writing isn’t that good).
my little ballerina
ღ pairing : druella black x granddaughter!reader ft. narcissa malfoy
ღ warnings : the reader experiences a nervous breakdown due to an injury (a grade three ankle sprain - where the reader suffers from torn ligaments that need to heal), generations of broken dreams, and a slight indication of mommy issues in the background.
Ღ requests : closed (check navigation for any updates)
ღ summary : suffering from the overwhelming pressure of her dreams crashing down, the reader experiences a nervous breakdown when her grandmother comes to visit.
Ღ word count : 2.8k+ (this was definitely a form of therapy for me)
Ღreblogs are appreciated｡◕‿◕｡
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“Now, Y/N, let’s try a grande jeté. Sur un, deux, trois, sautez! (On one, two, three, jump!)”, your ballet teacher instructed. Counting upwards, from one to three, you prepared yourself for the jump.
This move was pretty straightforward. All you had to do was a big jump pushing off from one foot to the other, brushing the working leg into the air. From an audience’s perspective, you looked like you flew across the room. It was a pretty cool move; one of your favourites. As you landed back on the opposite foot, you felt yourself wobble slightly; an action your teacher had noticed. “I think that’s enough for today. Same time next week, yes?”, she asked, smiling at you. You nodded, struggling to find the words; today’s lesson had been incredibly exhausting; you could feel its toll on your body.
As your teacher left the ballroom, you collapsed to the ground in exhaustion and released a frustrating sigh. You were so annoyed at yourself for messing up. You strived for perfection since anything less than perfection was not good enough. This was a quirk you inherited from your grandmother Druella. As you thought about your grandmother, you rolled onto your stomach and glanced toward the wall clock. Squinting your eyes, you saw that the clock read half-past two. You figured your grandmother would be finishing her tea with your mother in the parlour. You didn’t understand why your mother didn’t enjoy spending time with Druella; you loved tea-time with your grandmother. Inhaling a breath of fresh air and feeling it work its way down your body, you pushed yourself to sit up to get dressed into your regular day clothes. However, being a perfectionist, like your grandmother, you found yourself back at the barre again.
Hearing the faint sound of footsteps draw closer, you shook your head to free your mind of all distracting thoughts. With one of your hands resting on the barre, and the other bent following your knees, you prepared yourself to perform a plié. However, you stumbled at the sound of a snap coming in the direction of your left ankle. Wincing from the sudden pain, you gripped the barre to maintain balance. However, it was no use. The pain was unbearable. As you fell to the ground, you looked frightened when you heard a gasp escape your mother’s lips. However, that wasn’t what scared you. What terrified you was seeing your grandmother staring at you, feigning no expression on her face. You could feel your heart thump loudly, almost as if it was about to fall out of your chest and land straight on the floor. As you opened your mouth to say something, you struggled to get the words out. Instead, a loud mewl escaped your lips whilst tears slipped down your cheeks. At the sight of her child distraught, Narcissa didn’t waste any time helping you up and bringing you to a sofa. Guiding your leg upwards and resting your foot on a pillow, Narcissa couldn’t help but grimace when she saw how swollen your ankle was. However, your mind wasn’t on your mother but on your grandmother. You kept looking in your grandmother’s direction as she ordered one of the elves to call for a Healer. Narcissa couldn’t help but scowl at her mother. Here you were in such pain, and Druella couldn’t spare you even one minute of her time.
When the Healer arrived and examined your ankle, she asked that your mother and grandmother leave the room to give you some privacy. Narcissa was the first to leave the room, completely understanding how vital privacy was, especially to a young teenage girl. However, when she saw her mother still sitting there, almost as if she was glued to the chair, she huffed in annoyance. Noticing your mother’s change in mood, you politely asked your grandmother to leave, reassuring her that you would be fine. Unbeknownst to Narcissa, Druella wasn’t sitting there because she was being a tyrant, but because she felt a strange sense of deja-vu wash over her. Your mother had no clue that Druella had been in this same position when she was your age. Realising you were asking her to leave, Druella simply nodded her head, keeping her lips shut as she pushed past her daughter and headed straight towards the parlour to sit down. Once mother and grandmother had left the room, the Healer began her examination. In the parlour, Druella and Narcissa made themselves as comfortable as they could: Druella sat on the sofa, occupying her hands with a freshly brewed tea to calm her nerves, whilst Narcissa continued standing beside the window-sill, subtly glancing in her mother’s direction and scowling. Noticing her daughter’s ugly stares, Druella sighed before placing her cup on the coffee table, sitting upright and looking in her daughter’s direction. “If you have something to say then, say it”, Druella said, breaking the unbearable silence. “Ladies are meant to be seen, not heard”, Narcissa replied monotonously. Mocking her mother’s childhood lessons, Narcissa knew that if Bellatrix was here to see her little sister now, she would have been proud.
“Narcissa!”, Druella shouted. “Mother!”, Narcissa screamed back. You couldn’t help but wince when you heard their voices pass through the wall. You knew neither of them got along very well and only did so for your benefit. You couldn’t help but cry as the Healer gently lifted up your leg to get a closer look at the swelling. “I’m sorry dear”, the Healer apologised, thinking she was the cause of your tears. You shook your head, mouthing your words in silence, as you breathed through the pain. Not just the physical pain but the emotional grief caused by their fighting in the next room over. It was all your fault, you thought. If you had just done it perfectly the first time, none of this would have happened. In the other room, mother and daughter were at war. “I don’t see why you care”, Narcissa scoffed at her mother as she folded her arms around her frame before looking back through the window. “What is that supposed to mean?”, Druella asked, feeling flabbergasted by her daughter’s words. Still facing away, Narcissa glanced upwards before shaking her head in disbelief, “Your granddaughter is in that other room, right now, in pain. And you can’t even take one minute to show her you care. You just look at her as if she’s an inconvenience. The same way you made me feel! My entire life!” Narcissa screamed, her face red and chest heaving from all the anger she had bottled up since her teenage years. “I care! Of course, I care! And for you to even accuse me of-” “It’s nothing but the truth!” Narcissa interrupted, doing her best to refrain from throwing a glass at her mother. She couldn’t believe her mother was behaving like this right now. But after growing up with the woman as a mother, Narcissa realised that this was just who she was. Druella was the kind of person to sweep inconveniences under the rug, even if that inconvenience was her own daughter. Or, in this case, granddaughter.
“How dare you question my love for my family!”, Druella seethed. “Y/N is not an inconvenience. You have no idea how terrified I am for her. You have no clue what’s going to happen to her, Narcissa! But I do! I’ve been there- I know what will happen. She’ll never dance again!” “Oh, because she doesn’t deserve to, after making a fool of herself and-” “No, Narcissa! Because she won’t be able to!”, Druella screamed. Panting for breath, Druella started to cry until it was unbearable, and she was forced to sit down. Hiding her face in her hands to muffle the noises, Druella could feel herself reliving that traumatic moment she thought she had left behind her. Narcissa just looked at her mother quizzically. She was sure this was some sort of trap. Her brain told her to stay away, but her heart felt heavy about thinking about leaving her mother all alone whilst she was so terribly upset. “Wh-What? What does that mean?”, Narcissa whispered, inwardly scolding herself for letting her mother’s words get to her. But when it came to her daughter, Narcissa would be willing to form a deal with the devil just to keep you safe. Even if that devil was her own mother.
Forcing herself to keep her tears at bay, Druella inhaled before explaining. “When we walked into that room- what did you hear?”, she asked. Narcissa pondered for a minute before answering, “I heard Y/N fall, but before that- I heard a snap?”, Narcissa replied, unsure if that was the correct response. After being interrogated by her mother for most of her life, Narcissa always knew that the only answer was the correct one. Anything else was a waste of time. Druella just sighed once more, realising her suspicions had been confirmed true. “If it is, what I think it is, then-”, Druella started before both ladies were interrupted by a house-elf, requesting their presence on behalf of the Healer. Noticing Dobby standing in the doorway, trying to look brave, Narcissa asked the elf what he wanted. “Yes, Dobby?”
“Dobby is sorry to interrupt, Mistress. But Miss Y/N is requesting for you. And for Lady Black too”, he whimpered as he looked in Druella’s direction before disapparating when he saw the woman raise an eyebrow at his behaviour. Druella wasted no time rushing toward her granddaughter, causing Narcissa to just look at her mother quizzically. Pushing her thoughts away, Narcissa walked into the room and smiled when she saw you lay back, exhausted yet still showcasing a smile. However, when Narcissa went to sit with you, she was very jealous when she saw you being cradled in your grandmother’s arms. Instead of questioning it further, Narcissa just turned to face the Healer to hear what she had to say about your injury.
“Well, Y/N. Unfortunately, you do have a grade three ankle sprain but the good thing is that it’s not permanent”, she explained when she noticed both you and Druella wince at the mention of the injury. Unbeknownst to your mother, your grandmother had shared her past with you. About how she had experienced this exact injury as well, but instead of resting and following the Healer’s advice, she went against it. And completely ruined her chances of ever dancing again. Ever since you first wanted to take ballet, your grandmother made you promise not to repeat her mistakes. Not because Druella wanted to scare you, but because she wanted to warn you. Lately, when you were complaining about how exhausted you felt after your lessons, your grandmother begged you to take it easy. That it was okay to make mistakes. You could always work on them. “It’s not?”, you asked, feeling relieved. You couldn’t let yourself or your grandmother down. Upon hearing this, Druella could feel her heart becoming lighter. She was terrified if the injury was to be permanent. Not because of your dreams and hopes of becoming a professional ballerina being ruined, but because she was scared you would never forgive her. She was worried that, without ballet in common, you wouldn’t want anything to do with her. Druella had already lost all three of her daughters because of her poor parenting skills. She couldn’t bear to lose her granddaughter too.
“No, it’s not”, the Healer smiled. “However, you will need to take it easy for a while. That means no ballet for at least 3 months”, she advised. Narcissa absentmindedly slipped her hand into your own when she heard of this. Damn her mother, she thought. I won’t let her pressure my daughter anymore. But, when Narcissa glanced sideways at both grandmother and granddaughter, she realised she was looking at this all wrong. As Narcissa walked the Healer out and thanked her for her service, she managed to eavesdrop and hear your babbles. Expecting Druella to just shout at you for being so foolish, Narcissa was surprised when she saw how gentle her mother was with you. Before remembering that grandchildren were different. Special. They held a different yet more unique spot in their grandparents’ hearts than their own children.
“Nana,” you sobbed. “I’m so sorry! You told me to take it easy, and I didn’t listen to you, and now I’ve ruined everything”, you cried into Druella’s shoulder as she rested her chin on top of your head. Rubbing circles on your back, Druella shushed your sobs before wiping your tears away with her thumbs. “Y/N… look at me, ma cherié. It’s alright, Y/N if it doesn’t work out. We can always find a new dream”, Druella smiled, even though her smile failed to reach her eyes. Shaking your head, you couldn’t help but feel bad for what you had done. “Oh, but Nana! It’s not fair. I wish it didn’t happen to you. I’m so sorry”, you sobbed again. This time, however, Druella cried with you. Narcissa had never seen her mother so upset like this before. She couldn’t help but feel all choked up yet so unbelievably jealous and hurt when she saw how close you were to Druella. You were close to her in a way that Narcissa could only dream of experiencing. “I’m scared Nana”, you whimpered. “There’s no need to be scared, ma cherié”, she smiled as she held you close in her arms. “Nana?”, you asked, with tears sliding down your cheeks. “Yes, Y/N?”, she answered as she wiped the tears away. “What if-”, you started to ask before pushing those thoughts away. Narcissa was sure that this would be the end of the conversation. But when Narcissa saw Druella encourage her granddaughter to continue speaking, Narcissa cried as she felt her heart drop. Why was Druella not like this for Narcissa growing up? It just wasn’t fair.
“What if I never dance again, Nana? Will, you still love me?”, you whimpered, frightened to hear her response. Druella swore she felt her heart drop whilst Narcissa was prepared to run in and protect you from the inevitable pain Druella was going to drown you in. “Of course, I will still love you my dear. I will always love you”, she smiled, softly kissing your head. “Will you love me?”, Druella asked, causing you to look at your grandmother in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I, Nana?”, you questioned. “Well, maybe you won’t want to spend time with me anymore if-”, she confessed before feeling silly as she processed the words that had just left her mouth. You gasped when you heard your grandmother’s confession. Shaking your head against her shoulder, you refused to let her believe that. “-I will always want to spend time with you, Nana. I love you”, you smiled as you felt yourself growing tired.
“I love you too, Y/N”, Druella whispered before rocking you back and forth in her arms until she knew you were asleep. Looking up in the direction of the doorway, Druella motioned for Narcissa to join in on the hug too. Despite the overpowering desire to be wrapped in her arms, Narcissa shook her head and stood her ground. However, with her eyes plainly blurred from the tears that had welled up, Narcissa gave in when she saw how happy you looked. Narcissa slipped her hand back into yours and revelled in the warm embrace, reminiscing about happier times in her youth when her mother was not so distant. After a while, Druella felt the urge to cut the air since it was deathly suffocating. “Was I really that bad of a mother?”, Druella asked, whispering in a hushed tone since she didn’t want to wake you up. You needed your rest.
Shaking her head, Narcissa answered, “Not always. When we were children, you were lovely” she smiled. Chuckling, Narcissa remembered a fond memory that she held close to her heart in times of comfort. “I remember when we were little, and it was summer. You would spray us with water when tending to the garden. Sometimes Father would join. When he came home from work”, Narcissa smiled, closing her eyes as she replayed the memory back in her head. Hearing the truth, Druella felt so upset with herself. She clearly had things to fix. For starters, her relationship with her youngest daughter. “I’m sorry”, she whispered, holding her daughter’s hand, the one currently not occupied with yours. Hearing those words leave her mother’s mouth, Narcissa sighed. “I accept your apology”, she admitted. “However, you will have to earn my forgiveness”, she quipped. “It won’t be easy”, she added before smiling. Feelings of dread clouded her as she waited for her mother’s answer. But when she saw Druella smile back, all those feelings faded away, leaving her heart feeling light as a feather.
“I’m not expecting it to be”, Druella admitted. “But I’m willing to work for it.”
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