#nicktaxidermy
Today kids, we’re gonna talk about Abazagorath! https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Abazagorath/1290
OK, so right off the bat, this band’s name is right at the beginning of the alphabet and features plenty of the available letters, literally both A and Z. They’re obviously a black metal band. I’m actually hearing them for the first time and they’re pretty good, nice production, audible bass, some Immortal-sounding riffs. But oh my god this photo. Where do we start??
So first of all, I like how they included their stage banner in the shot. Was this taken before a show? Or in their practice space? For another thing, I like that the creeping, encroaching darkness at the top of the photo is totally NOT ‘shopped in, it’s completely convincing you guys.
But my favourite part of this is the picture of the band themselves. You know what it is? The way they’re standing looks like the cast of Pawn Stars at the beginning of the show. I gotta leave some room for them! Are these guys gonna sell me some used war-axes and spiked gauntlets? Or maybe an early vinyl pressing of In The Nightside Eclipse? Ooh! Nice. Black Metal is my business, and business is good.
For those of you who feel that I’m not putting myself on the line, making fun of how these guys look in this photo, let’s be honest, I really am: They’re from New Brunswick, New Jersey. I’m from Pennsylvania. About 30 miles from the border, too. These dudes could easily come and find me and kick the shit out of me! See? I take risks!
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So yesterday I found a really funny band photo on Encyclopaedia Metallum ( www.metal-archives.com ) while I was looking for another band of the same name. I posted it on my Facebook with a little colour commentary about these band members and how they all looked like they belonged in different bands. I got to thinking, as someone who spends a significant amount of time on Metallum, it might be fun to just rib on some of my favourite genre’s eccentricities.
I’m Nick Taxidermy. I’ve been listening to metal for going on twenty years now. I used to host a metal radio show in college. I was once thrown out of a shitty melodic death metal band for wanting to write songs about Satan. That’s it. Those are my credentials. I listen to the weirder sides of black, doom, death, grind, thrash, and more recently some more progressive and traditional heavy metal, as well. But this particular blog will focus on literally any Metallum profile I find.
I guess I should also say that this is all in good fun. I love metal, and while I’m sure there will be some posts for bands I genuinely dislike, you’re gonna get just as many that are for bands that I either A: DO like, possibly a lot, B: Don’t have a real opinion on their music, or C: Am at least okay with. I’m just trying to do something fun here with a website and genre I spend WAY too much of my valuable (Ha!) time on.
My first real post goes up later today. I hope you enjoy it. And if you find a funny band page yourselves, I’d like to see it! Send me an ASK with the band name and where they’re from and I’ll find them and maybe we can yuk it up at their expense.
MY NEW BLOG
