#no idea what to tag this as tbh
‘Modern American English makes soldiers’ love for special comrades into a problem, because the word love evokes sexual and romantic associations. But friendship seems too bland for the passion of care that arises between soldiers in combat. Achilles laments to his mother that his philos his “greatest friend is gone.” (18:89f) Much ink has been spilled over whether this word (and the abstract noun philia) and all its linguistic relatives should be translated under the rubric of “friend, friendship” etc. or of “love, beloved” etc. However, the difficulty of finding the right word reflects differences between ancient Greek and modern American culture that needs to be made clear. “Philia includes many relationships that would not be classified as friendships. The love of mother and child is a paradigmatic case of philia; all close family relations, including the relation of husband and wife, are so characterised. Furthermore, our [word] ‘friendship’ can suggest a relationship that is weak in affect…, as in the expression ‘just friends’… [Philia] includes the very strongest affective relationships that human beings form,… [including but not limited to] relationships that have a passionate sexual component.“’ — Achilles in Vietnam, Jonathan Shay, (1994: 40-1), quoting The Fragility of Goodness, Martha C. Nussbaum (1986: 354).
‘Virtually everyone who read the Iliad in college and most who read it in high school have been told that these two comrades were also lovers. This belief carries the ancient authority of both Aeschylus and Plato, even though the plain sense of Homer’s text is devoid of evidence that these two comrades-in-arms, Achilles and Patroklos, were sexual partners. Achilles’ grief for Patroklos would not have been greater had they been a sexual couple, nor less if they had not been.’ — Achilles in Vietnam, Jonathan Shay, (1994: 42), bold is my emphasis.
These two/three quotes seem particularly relevant to me in light of a) this excerpt from Coming out Under Fire: The history of gay Men and Women in World War Two b) the MCU fandom ship of Cap and Bucky which displays the 'special relationship’ of soldiers, often in a sexual way, and c) the growing awareness (on tumblr, at least) of those on the ace/aro spectrums.
Firstly, it does seem like the nature of the special relationships forged between people in the horror of war seems to have helped people in those situations be more understanding of different types of sexual love, and different sexual orientations in general. Secondly, whilst I have precisely zero problems with people portraying a ‘special comrade’ relationship between Cap and Bucky that does contain a sexual element — (this is different from presenting these two characters as simply having sexual preferences that are not heterosexual), I feel it is important to be aware of the fact that a lack of sex in such a relationship does not make it lesser — and this is true of all relationships, not just that of the 'special comrade’.
