#not to death tho
Hi I am FURIOUS
I was to at least 20 different doctors, my medical exam history is the size of War and Peace and SOMEHOW I was diagnosed with “just lazy and maybe depressed idk”
so several mental hospitals later I’m chillin’ with a friend doing dumb tests like “what name would you have if u were a boy” and there’s this test about ADHD and I’m like
✨tf is ADHD✨
So he does that test and is like ah haha idunno what this thing is talking about :) and im sitting near him with trembling voice
D-do youmindifItry
And he’s like sure :) and by the end of this test I’m CRYINGbecauseSO THIS IS WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME THIS WHOLE TIME and I was sad but then I was notbecause I was ANGRY that all these people with medical degrees or whatever they had and they sat in their chair of lies looking very important in their white coat and looked at this girl who is clearly struggling and were like
Nah she just lazy
AND THEN DISMISSED ME LIKE
DUDE MAYBE GIVE ME HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS TO SURVIVE
And they were like Nahyou just gottatry harder™✨
And because of them I had the worst depression for several years and became a shut in Oh and BTW
Apparently in my country most of the meds like Adderall and banned so i don’t know what to DO because being diagnosed would not solve SHITapparently
But I gotta try.
upd: this woman with a degree who I paid 40 dollars to visit said “oh no you couldn’t possibly take this long test on ADHD you would’ve left to do something else” and kicked me out of office after like 30 minutes because reasons???
I’m kinda sad and mad at the same time, like sad-mad. She totally thought ADHD is only hyper and said I wasn’t it. When even asked “are you one of these millennials huh” which ficking sucked.
I’m not gonna give up.