#nsfw implication

tw: weapons mention, violence mention, n*fw elements, be warned. everything written here is a work of FICTION, it does not in anyway reflect reality, nor do i condone any of the extreme behavior.

♢introduction♢pick mark instead|pick haechan instead|pick yuta instead|pick johnny instead |pick doyoung instead |pick taeil instead|pick sicheng instead

♢special route: pick ten

“it doesn’t matter, just stay away from her or anyone and me. stay away from me.”
“but i chose you.”
taeyong’s eyes flash for a moment - there’s a look of shock and also a softness, an almost apologetic tenderness in them that fades as soon as it appears.
“you shouldn’t have.”

• “i choose taeyong.”
• “i refuse.”
• he still doesn’t look up at you and somewhere in the room jaehyun lets out a long sigh
• “taeyong they were supposed to be with you anyway, just think of this as an extension of your work duty as their manager.”
  
• taeyong tilts his thin body forward, his hands are in his pockets and he takes another minute to answer
• “are you ordering me?”
  
• he finally looks at you, but his question is obviously directed at the jung heir
• “are you and your father ordering me?”
  
• “yes.”
  
• someone takes your hand gently and you look to the side to see mark, he’s giving you a sad and pitiful smile
• under it though is the question - are you sure about this? just pick me.
• but the words have already come out of your mouth and you don’t know if it’ll just piss taeyong off more if you go back on your choice now
• you are helped down from the table and you walk slowly to taeyong who lets an unnerving straight stare blank over his face
• you want to put together something to say
• but its like all your instincts are blaring red flags - stay quiet and hide.
• “i cant take them home today. i have a meeting.”
• everyone in the room tenses, especially doyoung who scoffs in apparent disgust and jaehyun snaps his fingers
• “mark will take care of you till the morning.”
• mark motions for you to follow him and he and johnny take you into the elevator and back above ground
• they are both talking to you - the usual damage control, it’ll be ok! don’t you worry! taeyong and the rest of us won’t let anything bad happen to you.
• you nod every now and then - but you cant help but shake the image of taeyong from your head
• slumped, dead eyed, and cold
• “what meeting is he going to?”
  
• you ask, without thinking of any precaution that should be attached to such a question 
• as mark opens the door to the car waiting outside
• “oh, it’s a work thing. like we were saying-”
  
• johnny puts a hand on your shoulder and gently pushes you forward
• “the less you know. the better.”
  
• mark takes you home to pack the essentials
• he looks awkward in your messy kitchen, not touching the water you poured him
• he helps you write a text to your friends and family to explain why you will be awol for the coming week
• he tries hard to be a friend when in reality every little jerk of his hand, the sound of his phone alerts
• it all makes your stomach drop - what the fuck is going on?
• you stay in a hotel, a room much to big for just you, with mark who gets himself comfortable on the couch
• you pace around the bedroom after locking the door, the night is dark but the lights of the city flicker in the reflection of the window
• you stare at it and try to recap your reality
• you were just going to be an intern, fixing wifi routers and filing papers for the it department
• and now you’re - you’re a hostage
• even if some of the jung’s people are trying to comfort you about the situation, that’s really what it is. 
• you’re a glorified hostage, but a hostage nonetheless
• and what made it all worse somehow 
• was the fact that you were now being seen as a bother by the person who you were practically forced to choose to protect you
• if they’d given you the option to leave that basement 
• and just never speak a word you would have
• you would have erased this whole night and just moved on with your life
• your phone goes off, you barely glance on it - assuming its probably one of your friends responding to that message you sent earlier 
• but a notification pops up, alerting you that the text is from an unknown number
• you are about to mindlessly open it when your finger freezes on the screen
• what if- what if someone is already after me?
• you rush to unlock the bedroom door and to your surprise, mark is already standing in front of it
• his eyes narrow as soon as he sees the frightened expression on your face
• “i heard your phone go off.”
  
• “it’s - it’s an unknown -”
  
• you hand it to him and mark opens the messages instead of you, he reads it and then takes his own phone out before he rushes to the hotel’s door
• you hear the locks turn again and mark is talking but he’s talking low and fast, and using words you don’t understand - “queen”, “deck”, “spade”
• those are playing card terms? or maybe gambling? what did the message say-
• you are going to ask him when mark finally acknowledges you, “have you unpacked?”
• you shake your head - you had been too nervous, pacing around, staring out the window, lamenting in this already twisted reality - to even touch your belongings
• “good, get your suitcase. we need to leave.”
  
• the car races through the emptier midnight streets, before you know it you’re on the highway and the city of lights fades in the rearview mirror 
• you were right, something about that message probably meant someone was already after you, but who? 
• who could have already figured out that you - an anomaly - was among the jung family?
• “where are we going?” is all you manage to ask and mark speeds the car up a bit
  
• “another province, closer to the sea. the jung’s have a guest house out there where we’ll keep y- i mean where you’ll stay.”
  
• the slip doesn’t go unnoticed and the word “keep” brings a sick feeling into your stomach
• “mark”
  
• he keeps his eyes on the road, once a soft and pitying brown, now glazed over and dark
• you are sure he hears you, but he doesn’t turn or ask what you need. he just keeps driving so you bite your tongue and sink a little lower in your seat.
• the guest house is close to the sea, but it is far away from everything else. it reminds you of the countryside, but not the countryside your family would take you on summer trips too.
• this house looked like something out of an old film
• long winding corridors and so many small rooms that you were sure if you were stuck in here alone you’d get lost
• but mark weaves his way through with ease, a fleet of three servants following in heel
• one of them holds your suitcases and the other two are talking amongst each other about the room they prepared, about some safe, and about what mark would need for when he returned to the city
• you try not to listen but you know they’re talking about weapons, possibly money and stolen goods and other things that you used to only believe existed on a tv screen - or at least far far from you and your regular life
• now here you are
• following mark lee of jung enterprises into some holed away room in a guest house all because you received a threatening message for what?
• for simply seeing something you shouldn’t have seen
• when mark finally stops, he pushes open the two large doors and ushers you and the servants in
• he drops something in the hand of one of them which was speaking from before and you swallow when you realize its a handgun, matte black and threatening looking in from a distance
• “ill be back in the morning. they’re your duty for now, if you think anyone is surrounding the house or trying to come inside - you can use whatever is in the safe. jaehyun has authorized it.”
  
• you look away - and onto a large bed like the one at the hotel - the air is stiff
• mark still has your phone 
• “don’t worry, you’ll be ok.”
  
• you breath in and look up, mark is beside you now and he’s returned a bit to a warmer, welcoming state
• “mark - “ you want to ask, what did the message say? am i really safe? is my family safe? what’s happening?
  
• he smiles and shakes his head
• “ill be back tomorrow. taeyong might be with me.”
  
• taeyong is not with him when mark returns the next day
• you are haggard because you didn’t sleep a wink and there was nothing to do but roll around in the huge bed - staring up at a mirrored ceiling 
• rich people have the most useless things in their houses? you had thought, looking away from your shaking reflection 
• you have the urge to ask why taeyong isn’t there, but you think you know the answer already.
• no one wants to babysit an adult. mark’s just too nice to say it and taeyong just doesn’t want to waste his breath
• “do you like it here?” mark is the first one to say something as you walk back through the hall from your room to a spacious open area toward the back of the house
  
• it’s a patio with luxurious, untouched furniture 
• “im guessing im going to have to stay here if you’re asking me that?” 
  
• mark gives a weak smile, “yeah. it’s just the safest protocol. jaehyun agrees.”
• “what about taeyong?”
  
• his name slips before you can stop and mark nods, “taeyong too.”
• if you walk all the way to the end of the patio and keep going, you are pretty sure you can reach the sea after a couple of more feet of walking.
• you can’t see it - but you can smell it in the air outside. 
• briefly, you wonder about running toward it. what is mark going to do? grab you and stop you? let you run out into the shore? hurt you?
• something cold passes over you, right - he could hurt you. any one of the jungs people could hurt you. any one of the enemies of the jungs people could hurt you.
• suddenly you feel lightheaded and this conversation is making it worse
• “that’s fine, i dont mind being here. will i return to work anytime soon?”
  
• mark wants to reach out and touch your shoulder, you can tell he wants to be comforting, but he doesn’t
• “maybe at a later time, not not right now.”
  
• with that - mark walks you back to your room. the door shuts behind him and you feel weirdly like a doll stuck in a toy box chest.
• that feeling persists for the two weeks you spend at the jung’s guest house with no one but the people who tend to the home and mark, who stops by occasionally.
• taeyong is nowhere to be found. your phone never gets back to you, mark gives you a new one, the only contacts are him, jaehyun, taeyong, and johnny.
• until finally, one evening as you’re sinking into the duvet once again - the door to your room opens with a bang
• for a moment you think it’s them - the people who sent that message to your phone, which you still don’t know what it must have said - you bolt up 
• and do the only thing you can think of which is scream at the top of your lungs
• “it’s just us!” 
  
• something grips your arm, delicately but with enough pressure that you peel your eyes open to see mark and ……… taeyong
• mark looks concerned, but you look past him to taeyong who just chides to himself about how you are soloud
• “it’s just us, taeyong is here to take you back to the city.”
  
• “is it safer there?”
  
• taeyong cuts in with a curt, “can’t you just pack. i want to get back before ten.”
• you narrow your eyes and can’t help yourself, “yes i can pack - but i want an answer before i just jump into another car without being told ANYTHING.”
• mark seems a little surprised at your tone, you don’t speak like that with him, and taeyong just stares blank and cold
• “whatever, mark ill pull around the car.”
  
• with his presence out of the room you seem to calm down, coming about to your senses and muttering an apology to mark who just laughs - “you don’t have to say sorry for anything, this is a shitty situation to be in.”
• nothing is said up until you three are all in the car
• mark is driving and taeyong is in the passenger seat beside him, you watch with caution as he taps his long thing fingers against his knee
• and then turns around to look over at you
• “why are you staring at me?”
  
• mark grips the wheel tighter and you keep looking at taeyong, seemingly unphased by the rudeness of his you are getting used to
• “because i would like to know why im suddenly being taken back to the city.”
  
• “it is safer there now. does that satisfy you?”
  
• you can see his hair curl behind his ear - it gets long and lays on the nape of his neck neatly
• he’s almost too pretty to be a………”gangster”……..or whatever the jung people were called
• “why is it safer? do the people who sent me the message know i was at the guest house?”
  
• taeyong stiffens, “you saw the message?”
• you shake your head, “no. but it had to be bad, i was suddenly whisked-”
• in true taeyong fashion, he turns his attention mid conversation to mark
• “did you not tell them?”
  
• mark pulls off the highway and into an underpass
• “no, i mean - there’d be too much to explain right?”
  
• taeyong tilts his head then sits back up straight
• “you’re right. it would be too much to explain.”
  
• you want to get all riled up and start asking - hey, i dont care if there is a long explanation! id like to know if my life was threatened!
• but something makes you stop - because right as mark pulls onto the busy streets of the city - you can’t help but look up at the towering buildings and crowded store windows
• you were only gone for a couple of weeks, but something about the solitude made it feel like years
• before you know it, mark is pulling up into the underground parking lot of the jung building and you are stepping back out into a place that seems both familiar and comforting
• but intimidating and terrifying
• “go inside, go to my office. do you remember where it is? just go and act normal and let people see you - see that you’re just the intern again.”
  
• taeyong whispers this fast into your ear before slipping your employee badge into your hand and taking your bag from your hands
• mark nods and you take shaking steps toward the elevator that will bring you up to the 25th floor
• you remember that 27 is the floor of the ceo’s office, there isn’t a 26 from what you know of, and the IT office should be on 25
• you press the number and it dings with a red circle as the elevator moves up.
• you feel kind of nauseous at the sudden realization that you’re back, you’re in the city, in the jung building, why? you still don’t understand
• the door dings open and to your surprise in walks johnny, flanked by haechan and sicheng
• johnny’s face lights up when he sees you - as does sicheng’s, but haechan ignores you all but completely
• “ah - how was the jung’s guest house, it’s totally huge right?”
•  johnny asks and you laugh weakly, so he knows - everyone seems to know something about what is happening with you, but you
  
• sicheng wiggles his fingers in a casual wave and if this was just a normal office, with normal collogues 
• it would have felt ok, but it just feels heavy
• finally you get to the 25th floor - johnny and haechan hurry away and sicheng seems to shadow you down the hall till he also turns into a meeting room instead
• you walk up to the I.T. department door and swipe your card to open it
• it looks the same as when you were here last, neat and tidy. 
• you look at the first desk, taeyong’s desk, and remember that he had instructed you on your tour not to touch anything without permission
• you walk past it and to the small desk in the back that you had worked behind for a bit
• you sit down in the chair and stare at the dark computer screen
• i can’t touch anything, and i don’t have any paperwork, should i just sit here in silence for hours till someone comes to get me?
• that feeling of once again - being a doll posed and stored in a toy box overcomes you - you put your hands out to hover over the keyboard
• but then they just drop back to your side
• you look over your shoulder and at taeyong’s empty desk
• it’s all cleaned up, there isn’t even any dust on the monitor. the files on display on a shelf beside it are color-coded and alphabetized 
• before you can register what your body has decided to do - you are getting up to look closer
• there aren’t any personal items or photos on the desk. no notepads with scribbled passwords or to-dos. the pens are separated between blue, black, and red
• the drawers are all shut, nothing sticking out of them, and then there is a book - one single book - on the right corner of the desk
• it looks like a computing manual, something to do with coding, and you aimlessly open it 
• disobeying the no touching rule
• when a gasp gets caught in your throat 
• the books pages have been cut through and hollowed out, within the hole is your cellphone 
• you recognize the chip in the corner and the blue case hugging the sides
• you stare at it - frozen - is it dead?
• the screen seems to light up in response to your question with a notification from an instagram account you follow
• it’s some idol whose just gone live and that’s when you see it - the unread texts, the emails, the dms 
• you look toward the door and then back at your phone and you can only think of one thing
• that unknown message, is it still on here?
• you know the right thing is to close the book and go back to your desk, sit down and flush your brain of everything that just happened
• it’s the right thing to do because it is the safe thing to do
• and safety is what all this bullshit is about
• but you grit your teeth, you remember taeyong’s expressions - the look of annoyance - the blank sternness - who is he? he’s not the hostage, why am i so scared of breaking some dudes stupid rules?
• the moment of red anger flashes in you and you grab the phone, you go to your message and you see it ‘unkown’
• you open it, there are no words just one emoji - a crown emoji. 
• what is this? some kind of joke? this is why i had to leave the city, be holed up like some kind of prisoner in that huge room, this is just some prank-
• you hear footsteps, the adrenaline pumping through your veins heightens every one of your senses and you know they’re coming toward the door
• you close out of the messenger app and lock the phone again, dropping it back into the hiding space of the book and rushing back to your desk as quietly as possible
• sitting down, you try to even your heartbeat which has started to pound in your ears
• you feel some sweat on your neck and try to shake it off - just don’t look guilty, don’t look guilt!
• the sound of the keycard opening the door resounds like a bell through the room
• taeyong walks in and behind him is mark and jaehyun
• you don’t even look at them, save from the corner of your eye, vision fixated on the desk
• “so that’s the situation, is it?”
  
• “im telling you. the queen isn’t an idiot, if we keep making trips back and forth out of the city she’s going to catch on. we should just keep them here, let them do their work, and turn into another regular, blank face in the crowd. the queen has no interest in nobodys.”
  
• queen? you think, eyes widening a bit, the crown emoji - was it from this queen person?
• “i agree, plus you know her better than i do. plus, spade and heart are a headache to deal with.”
• taeyong clicks his tongue and you turn in time with the sound
• “i don’t want them in my house.”
  
• “ill stay with them. i think it’ll be safer if they just stay in their apartment and i watch over. taeyong doesn’t want too and it’ll look suspicious if it’s him, the queen deals with him hands on after all.”
  
• the three men make a decision, once again not involving you at all, and jaehyun leaves without a word but his order is silent and obvious
• well, you two take care of this
• mark approaches you first and taeyong goes to his desk - hand sweeping over it - like he’s looking for evidence that something was moved or touched
• “hey, so - i know that conversation was kinda a lot, but everyone thinks it’ll be ok for you to go back to your place and um - well -”
  
• mark’s neck gets red, you can tell he’s nervous about asking if he can stay with you
• you smile, “it’s ok. you can stay if it’s for my safety.”
• the words leave your lips, but somehow you are doing it again, looking through mark and at taeyong
• you just keep throwing me to mark, you really hate being responsible for me don’t you?
• taeyong’s back flexes under the dress shirt he’s wearing when he touches the book and you go rigid
• did he notic-
• “mark, take them to lunch or something. we need more people to see them and know they’re really just interning here.”
  
• mark nods and offers his hand to you - you take it and as you walk past the desk, you watch taeyong sit down
• gorgeous features twisted, and then out of nowhere, he meets your gaze
• and you don’t know why but you feel like you should look away
• so you do.
• somehow you know everyone except you to fall back into this fake normalcy easily
• instead of being locked in some big room in a house by the sea, paranoid about who could open the door next
• you should enjoy the distraction of regular life
• get up in your apartment, the only difference being mark who is still too embarrassed to even change in front of you let alone take any of the breakfast you offer
• go to the office, do mundane tasks for the other departments when they need IT help, smile at johnny and taeil and sometimes yuta, get ignored by haechan and jaehyun, eat lunch at your desk, go back to your apartment and text all your friends: 
• sorry i cant come out! feeling really drowsy from the work and weather!
• but falling back into this routine does jack shit for you
• because you still exist in a stage of paranoia and awkward aggravation that coats you whenever you are anywhere near taeyong
• he isn’t even doing the job you picked him for, and yet he is still so dismissive of you
• and not in the straight-up-ignore you kind of way haechan is 
• but in a, why are you in my space?, kind of way
• when you’re near him, typing or doing some kind of useless paperwork you almost sense how tense he is
• he always has to take off his blazer and he always touches the knots that appear in his joints from being so damn on eggshells around you
• and you try to think of a reason why
• maybe he’s one of those extreme germaphobes - having others so close makes him feel dirty 
• but how could that be true, he’s spent all this time in the “underworld” of seoul with the rest of the jung people
• so is it you - something about you - your smell? the way you look? the way you walk?
• the thought vexes you further, what’s some guy got to say about you - even in this stressful situation you’ve done nothing but try and keep up all appearances
• sometimes you sit in the tub of your bathroom and scrub for so long, mark thinks you’ve climbed out the window, because truth be told
• you don’t feel comfortable with yourself anymore
• you feel like you’re made of plastic 
• walking around like a puppet on strings 
• don’t go here, don’t text that friend, go back and home, follow mark, don’t bother taeyong, do everything normal. don’t do anything you want to.
• at some point you get suffocated by it - and taeyong’s behavior doesn’t make it better 
• especially not when you accidentally bump into him on the way down the stairs and send the file in his hand flying
• he groans and when you reach to pick it up he snatches it and tells you to get out of his way
• it might be the way he says it that breaks the straw on the camels back and you spin on your heel to tell him to think about getting out of your way
• when you see he’s gone
• but you don’t let it go. 
• you know mark trusts you enough now to go straight home after work, plus being driven around in one of the expensive cars will throw off this whole normalcy cover, so when its time to clock out
• you take some extra time packing your things away and taeyong must be getting sick of being in the small space with you 
• so he leaves first, just like you planned
• you would just burst out and confront him here, but you ……. need to be somewhere in public
• he’s still a mystery - he’s not like mark or johnny who you know theoretically could snap you in half if they wanted, but would - on morals - not do that
• taeyong is different. you don’t know anything about his temper, just that he really doesn’t seem to like being near you
• so you are going to follow him, against all better judgement, and set it straight
• you may be a hostage, you may be involved in this stupid situation, but you are not some kind of doll or animal to be treated with such …… cruelty 
• you do your best to be quiet, packing your things and leaving after taeyong
• it’s already dark out, a friday night, so many people are bustling around with their lovers and friends
• taeyong, to your surprise, doesn’t head to the parking lot or to a car. you thought you’d get him before he got into one - enough of a safe space that someone walking by could hear if something happened
• but also private enough that you could flush out the details of why he was so - whatever you could call it - cold? unnerving? 
• but he keeps walking, turning a corner and the another that you barely keep up with it
• he seems concentrated - he doesn’t look over his shoulder - doesn’t acknowledge the gasps of shock from people who probably have never seen someone with a face like that
• he just keeps walking, like the world is a runway and it’s just him
• you give up being quiet and just do your best to keep up and then - taeyong stops 
• so you duck behind an alley corner and watch in suspense
• he looks up at the neon lights of a …. laundromat? and then reaches for the door
• he’s……he’s picking up his laundry? that’s….well he is a person afterall….
• you follow inside too after a minute, but as you walk in - you realize the place is empty
• the sound of machines dulls on your ears and you look around for someone, maybe behind the register or someone pressing clothes in the back
• but it is literally. empty. 
• the only thing that happens is you hear a loud slam and you turn your head to the direction of the sound
• it comes from behind the counter, and you know you shouldn’t go there - you aren’t an employee or even a customer so you just stare
• but ….. but that must be where taeyong went because he isn’t anywhere else
• you take a shaking step forward, then another, and another until you’ve breached the little turn of the counter and back toward where you guess there’s an office and then a door down into a basement
• the office feels warm, a little heater in the corner is still on and the computer screen shows some kind of schedule
• you are about to look closer, when you hear shuffling from near the machines
• it’s a split second decision, but you rush to the door of what you assume is the basement and turn it - nearly falling through when you realize there is a staircase descending down
• you have no choice but to rush down, cursing yourself out in your head because what the fuck are you going to do? wait in this basement until morning?
• but as soon as you get to the bottom you see another door - you open it, because you guess you just do that now - open random doors that might lead to nowhere - when a bright light and a cacophony of sounds hits you
• it takes a moment for you to fully adjust when you realize you aren’t in a basement 
• you are on a………………casino floor
• you see the golden machines, the wheels of fortune, the marble bar counter and the rows of tables that spread so far out that they become little specks
• somewhere there is live music, the smell of alcohol and smoke filling from every corner
• for a moment you tell yourself: ok , you are dreaming. this looks like the set of a movie - this cannot be -
• “are you looking to join a game?”
  
• someone asks you suddenly and you turn to see a burly looking man, two women hanging tipsily on his sides
• “we need another player for blackjack!”
  
• you swallow the fear and alarm bells and shake your head, “ah no - im going to play the um slots.”
• that’s what they’re called right? i think i saw that in a movie once?
• he makes a gruff sound and shakes his head toward the table
• “no no, the slots aren’t where the money is - come and join my game, im at table 127.”
  
• you smile and try to politely refuse again. this is already way too much to take in and you don’t know how to fucking gamble! you always hated places like this so noisy, so loud, so -
• “ahhh if they won’t want to play let’s ask the queen for a match?”
  
• one of the drunk girls slurs and you perk up - the queen?
• the intimidatingly large man suddenly seems to shrink a little
• “no, we don’t bother the queen down here. let’s go girls.”
  
• he turns, somehow managing to hook their thin bodies against him and out of sight before you get in another word
• really, did i get sucked into a cartoon? where am i and who is this queen?
• you look around and then you see something familiar, the coat taeyong was wearing that he’s shrugging off before going through the thick of people to the back tables
• well whatever, im here now let’s just get this over with - you begin to trudge after him
• dodging giggling drunks and aggravated card players every which way all while trying not to lose sight of taeyong
• but he’s nimble and fast and he makes it to the tables before you can see which one he sits at and you still getting overwhelmed by this secret casino that you think you might double over
• when a pretty hand flutters to your shoulder
• “are you ok, you look lost?”
  
• you take in a breath and turn to see a beautiful young girl, her hair is pulled back into a tight ponytail and she’s wearing a tailored suit 
• she has no makeup on and yet her bare skin is beautiful, she has a name tag pinned to her lapel with a little spade beside it 
• ‘seulgi’
  
• “ah - im ok, i just i have had so much to drink and so i feel a little queasy.”
  
• you lie again through your teeth and the girl smiles, her eyes turning upward into two cute moons 
• is she security? or staff? she looks way too sweet to be working here where everyone else looks kind of……..suspicious
• “i see, i dont smell any alcohol on you but if you want to sit down let me help you over to one of the comfier chairs.”
  
• she slides her hand down over your back and to your other shoulder and she helps you toward a lounging area in a corner of the huge room
• you are about to tell her you are fine, and you didn’t mean to bother here when the lights suddenly flicker from bright white to red
• you stand up and seulgi smiles again, “ah the queen is here to play a game.”
• “who is the queen?”
  
• the smile on seulgi’s otherwise friendly face waivers a bit and she opens here eyes to reveal the dark brown beneath
• “you don’t know of the queen?”
  
• “it’s my- fi-first time here!” you try to explain, feeling the sweat build up on your neck again “i have heard of her and all, but i don’t know her identity and such.”
  
• seugli seems to buy this and she smiles again, “of course, the queen doesn’t talk about herself much. but her real name is irene - and she owns this casino.”
• you feel your knees buckle a little - a queen who owns an underground gambling ring? seems pretty up the alley of dangerous people you shouldn’t get involved with
• you suddenly remember the text with the crown emoji 
• “ah - really? i bet she’s beautiful.” you say just to clear the tension that has begun to pile up and seulgi nods
• “very beautiful. do you want to see her up close, if you feel up to it - she has a seat open at her table.”
  
• you open your mouth to decline, no no way do you want to play with the queen 
• when suddenly you feel seulgi almost dragging you toward it
• “ah no, im not a good player and i don’t want to interfere with-”
  
• “nonsense, cards are for everyone of every skill set and im sure she’ll be happy to entertain. the queen loves nothing more than getting new….customers”
  
• seulgi’s smile stretches and you try to wrench out of her hold but she’s so surprisingly strong
• before you know it you are infront of a chair and you look down at it and then back up across the table where you see
• taeyong?!?!?
• his eyes are so wide they look as they’ve turned to saucers when he meets your gaze
• he then looks abruptly to his hand and once again pays you no attention
• seulgi gently, but with a very dominant hand gets you to sit down
• the queen still hasn’t arrived, you can tell because at the head of the card table a large chair is waiting for its occupant
• and when you turn, you are surprised that seulgi is still standing behind you
• smile on her face, hands behind her back
• what the hell have i gotten myself into?
• you are dealt a hand and you know nothing about cards - so you just stare at them blankly - till another commotion stirs and the live band suddenly switches from melodic jazz to an upbeat almost tango like beat
• you turn your head and watch as a woman, small and thin walks toward the chair
• her black hair is down and straight, swaying in an elegant current behind her
• at her left is a taller woman dressed in dashing red sequins and lipstick to match - a strap over her shoulder leading to an automatic weapon the size of which you’ve never even seen before
• you feel something move behind you and watch as seulgi leaves her post to flank on the right of the shorter woman - who you assume is the queen - and pull out of her suit jacket a glittering silver glock
• she folds her hands back over her front, but the gun is kept in plain view
• as the queen sits down she looks around the table and you feel almost sick when her sights set on you
• she smirks to herself and gets comfortable, “spade - did we deal?”
• “yes, your hand is here.”
  
• seulgi moves the face down cards toward the queen and you vaguely remember the conversation you overhead
• if seulgi is spade then - the tallest one must be heart?
• your thought is confirmed when the queen wags a perfectly manicured finger and tells heart to go get her one of the pink mojitos from the bar
• your mouth feels dry as the game starts
• the symbols and numbers jumble in your head and you do the only thing you can think of 
• you try to fake some kind of confidence
• the table is huge and it takes a while to get to you, at some point it gets to taeyong and he places a card of his on the table
• you note that the queen chuckles to herself and that spade flexes her shoulder
• you count - seven more people till it gets to me, should i just pass? should i make some kind of scene and escape? fuck fuck fuck i didn’t think i’d ever end up here -
• a shout rings through the casino and suddenly the game comes to an abrupt halt
• spade and heart move in front of the queen - spade whipping the gun off the strap and up into her hands
• unmoved, the queen gestures with her hand for everyone to stay still
• but right after the inital scream, a gunshot rings out and then another, and the entire table which was already sitting in suspense turns to chaos
• the two people beside you jump to their feet, pulling their own concealed    weapons from their jackets and pants
• and then you look up - but taeyong is gone from his seat 
• where did he-
• something wraps around your waist and pulls you into it - you look over your shoulder and see the sharp profile of taeyong’s jawline
• “follow me.”
  
• his voice is deeper than usual and you are more than glad to run right behind him as he pushes you in front of him and toward a set of doors behind the back bar
• you rush  through and feel taeyong take a hold of the back of your shirt, slowing you a bit as you try to stay together in the crazed crowd 
• there are more sounds of shots and screaming, but your brain goes fuzzy as taeyong grabs your hand in his and makes another dash up a pair of stairs and out into the cold night breeze
• the door opens into an empty lot behind the building of the laundromat and before the scene can get anymore hectic he urges you to go up the block and turn into an alley
• you do as you’re told, scared that if you don’t you’ll be caught in the wave of people or worse - the police will show up and everything will turn worse
• when you turn into the alley, you check to see taeyong is behind you - even though his hand is still in yours
• he is, and you can see the sweat sticking his bangs to his forehead
• you both stop in the cramped alleyway and the sounds continue on from farther down the street
• taeyong doesn’t seem like he can hold it in and he snaps; “what were you doing down there?”
• you snap back; “following you! i needed to tell you something!”
• he stares in the darkness and then throws his head to the side with a groan, he takes his phone out and calls someone with a quick speed dial
• “where are you?”
  
• there’s a lot of noise that comes from the phone and you realize it’s the voice of mark
• oh right, he’s probably worried why i didn’t come home.
• “yeah, i know. i have them. ill bring them back now - but fuck ill tell you when i get there.”
  
• the phone call ends and taeyong stays silent for a moment till he tells you to follow him again
• you do, just because you literally have no other option, and then suddenly ask
• “so the text was from her right? from the queen?”
  
• he abruptly turns to you and says you should be quiet now - stop asking idiotic questions.
• “it’s not idiotic, is she a threat? why would she want me-”
  
• “it doesn’t matter.”
  
• taeyong takes a hold of both your arms and backs you up into a wall of the alley - he’s not rough or mean instead he seems almost desperate 
• “it doesn’t matter, just stay away from her or anyone and me. stay away from me.”
  
• “but i chose you.”
  
• taeyong’s eyes flash for a moment - there’s a look of shock and also a softness, an almost apologetic tenderness in them that fades as soon as it appears
• “you shouldn’t have.”
  
• he lets you go and you want to say something but your voice dies a little
• the events of the evening have taken a toll on you and you nearly fall over when taeyong’s hold lets go completely, he stops to make sure you don’t tumble over onto the street
• but his eyes are all but cold again
• mark is furious when you get back to your apartment - you can’t tell who he is more angry at you or taeyong - and then taeyong takes him aside to explain what happened and then you can’t tell if mark is more furious at you, taeyong, or the queen
• you try to piece together what you can from random snippets of the conversation, but none of what they’re saying and arguing about helps you understand the new question on your mind:
• why would the queen want you?
• maybe it is to have some leverage over the jungs, but that doesn’t make sense. you have no information on the jungs. you were just a witness to a group of criminals that the queen herself apparently conspires with
• so needing you for intel wasn’t plausible
• the only other thing that came to mind was your connection to taeyong - which, you didn’t even think existed - but maybe the queen had misinterpreted
• was she maybe someone under the impression you meant something to taeyong? 
• you snort at the thought and catch both mark and taeyong’s attention - but you just shake it off
• no, she could easily just look up my history or send someone to tail us and see that i ……….. 
• i am nothing to lee taeyong.
• “i don’t think you should be the one to watch them anymore.”
  
• you snap your head around to see mark look at taeyong with confusion
• “what are you talking about, now that the queen knows about them you should keep your distance. i can keep guarding-”
  
• “mark, you haven’t ever dealt with the queen and i have. ill be in charge now-” taeyong spares you a glance “although i really dont want to be.”
  
• well i dont want you either! im fine with mark!
• is what you wish to spit back, but you don’t mean it. you chose taeyong because - above everyone else - you knew he was as serious and as dilligent as he looked
• and he was supposed to be your manager anyway, if anything you had one thing in common with him, he must have been the head of IT for a reason
• and you knew about computers - at least there was that, little thin string of fate between you
• or so you had thought. now you think there’s another reason. stubbornness.
• you had done nothing wrong, really you had been the one absolutely screwed over by this whole operation, but you were being treated by him as if you were the one to blame
• and you didn’t like that - maybe it was childish to put your self respect above all now, but you weren’t going to just let taeyong get away with it
• you were going to find out what it was
• what it was - were you really just a nuisance in the way of his otherwise “perfect criminal life” or was there something else wrong with taeyong
• “fine. but im going to do check-ins and im going to ask johnny to help me. if anything is weird and if you -”
  
• mark gets so close to taeyong you don’t really hear the rest of his sentence except when he pulls back
• “-i will get jaehyun involved.”
  
• taeyong slips the handgun you’ve seen him carry around before and drop it on your coffee table
• you stare at it then back at the two men
• “fine. are you going to go now?”
  
• mark nods and then looks over at you - the once angered scowl goes soft again - “you have my number right?”
• you wave around the phone you got from him and grin
• but mark suddenly goes serious again, “and don’t go into that casino again.”
• that first night you spend it all awake again - sitting up in your bed and trying to recollect any information from everything that happened today
• you also listen, for any sound from the living room where taeyong is and all you hear is the soft mutter whenever he turns over in his sleep or almost rolls off your couch
• for what its worth - you can’t believe he even managed to fall asleep - the sweat of being at that card table in front of the queen was enough to keep you from even closing your eyes
• but after that, once again, you are expected to just fall into normalcy
• but it is even worse now because the anomaly which was mark lee in your apartment is now lee taeyong
• and where mark was a little awkward, taeyong spares not a second thought
• you walk in on him with his clothes coming off before he changes, you walk in on him reloading his weapons, you walk in on him with his laptop open to what you assume are highly confidential tax files of the jungs
• and he never bats an eyelash
• and he also doesn’t talk
• where mark would at least offer words of comfort, taeyong has chosen utter silence
• and even when you ask him questions - he responds with either nothing at all or a curt shake of his head
• you abhor it - you had felt all weird about being treated like this before at the office, but now that it is in your own home you cannot stand it
• i can confront him here, i wanted to do it in public to avoid any harm he might cause but whatever. i cannot do this anymore!
• you resolve on a weekend evening and you open your door - teeth gritted and hands in fists as you march into the living room
• “taeyong i need to-”
  
• the room is empty and you feel a gush of terror shiver up your spine
• did he leave? did someone take him? am i alone now or-
• “what?”
  
• the door to the bathroom opens and you turn to see taeyong standing there with a loose towel around his hips 
• his wet hair is sticking to his skin and he is looking at you with the most disrespectful disinterest you have ever been acquinted with in your life
• but you
• you can’t help but stare in disbelief
• his body has to be carved of some kind of precious stone, all sharp and lithe, but strong either way
• his eyes are darkened by the bags that build up under his lower lash line but they make him look more like a wild animal than they do tired
• and he has not a single blemish anywhere 
• but a large scar that runs across his left shoulder and dips down toward his elbow
• you look at it for a moment too long and taeyong asks again, harsher - “what?”
• “i- i wanted - i wanted to ask you wh-”
  
• you can’t put your thoughts into a coherent sentence, let alone even make a thought conjure in your brain
• instead you just turn and walk back into your room slamming your door shut and trying to shake the image of him out of your head
• how could you have not heard the water running? was he doing this on purpose? you absolutely want to curl up into a ball and die
• when after a couple of minutes you hear a knock on your door
• you don’t want to be berated like you were in the alley after you escaped the casino
• but your parents never raised you to be the rude one - so you pull yourself up by whatever energy you have left and open it
• thank god taeyong is dressed again, and he takes a deep breath before he mutters “three things. you can ask me three things.”
• the propisition almost knocks you off your feet and taeyong adds that if you don’t ask quickly he will just walk away
• so you agree and follow him out into your little living room
• “ok - ok one, is- is the queen the person who sent the message to my phone?”
  
• taeyong’s jaw tightens but he nods, “yes.”
• “yes?”
  
• “yes. next question.”
  
• “who is she - why would she threaten me?”
  
• taeyong sits down on the sofa and you keep standing - mostly because your anticipation for his answer makes you feel like you’ve been struck by lightening
• “she runs the casino. she’s in the business of foreign arms trade just like the jungs are and i frequent the card games because she’s a client and it’s - it’s just protocol -”
  
• he sucks in his teeth and then adds “she’s probably after you to have some leverage over the jungs for the next weapons deal.”
• “that makes no sense.”
• taeyong lifts an eyebrow and looks at you and you put your hands on your hips
• “im not leverage at all - i mean nothing to any of you, you would just have her kill me if-”
  
• taeyong stands now too and walks over to you, he looks angry but he doesn’t - he doesn’t raise his voice or snide at you
• “do you really believe that? that after all this stupid trouble we would just let you get murdered at the hands of another gang?”
• you don’t really know what to say - because you can’t deny it, they have done their best to keep you safe for so long, but also
• you are literally no one. a regular, blank face in the crowd. why they didn’t just kill you that first night-
• you shake off the thought, it’s to terrifying to even entertain and so you finally ask your third question, with taeyong as close to you as he’s ever been
• “why do you hate being around me?”
  
• the air goes stagnant as the last syllable leaves your lips and you aren’t sure what is going to happen
• is taeyong going to blow up again - accuse you (with some evidence) that you must be crazy to think that because if it were true you would still be back at that casino
• or is he going to give you some kind of answer, meaningful or not
• you feel almost selfish for asking it, which you know isn’t the right reaction either, it is only human nature to want to know why you evoke some kind of emotion in someone
• but with the way everything is going - the path your life is currently on - you don’t fault your mind for being twisted too
• there is a long pause in the stall silence of the living room and then taeyong speaks
• “i don’t hate being around you. i hate what might happen if i let it go on for too long.”
  
• your hands kind of drop to your sides and you whisper, “i don’t understand what you mean.”
• taeyong looks at you - like really, for the first time looks at you, you don’t register it but he is taking in everything
• you still have the little mark he on your ear - the one he noticed when he was first introduced to you by jaehyun
• and you are doing the thing where you avoid direct eye contact every ten seconds when you want to say something else
• and you - he didn’t see that before - but you have the color of eyes that remind him of a memory so deep down in his mind
• that if it tries to get to the surface, years of mental training just pushes it back
• but one look - one hard look at you - and it comes floating to the top
• “i lied about question two.” his voice dips into a softness you aren’t used to and you ask what he means
  
• “the queen does do business with us and i am the middleman, but you - wouldn’t be leverage over the jungs for her. you would be leverage over me.”
  
• the still air suddenly seems to grab a hold of you and keep you staunchly glued to your position in the living room
• taeyong doesn’t move either. you think if you keep standing here, neither of you might move for another lifetime
• “but im nothing to you, im just a regular person who picked you to take care of-”
  
• “no, you don’t understand.” taeyong looks up at you and his lashes are long and somehow still heavy with a little bit of water from his fresh shower
  
• he looks like a painting, a statue from a museum that broke through the frame or chains and walked all of seoul to get here
• to you
• “when you picked me, it marked you. you are my responsibility - so you are my weakness. the queen……….has a grudge against me. it can never be repaid in weapons or money or material possessions - it can only be repaid in -”
  
• he touches the scar under his shirt, you watch him run his fingers down the outline
• “in my grief, in my pain. so now that she knows im responsible for you - she’ll do anything to take you away from me because you might think you are nothing to me but you -”
• he stops himself and you feel like someone has just driven you to the edge of a cliff and before letting you fall over they’ve just disappeared
• “it doesn’t matter, i answered three questions like i said.”
  
• he moves away and toward the sofa and you shake your head, finally free from the ghostly grasp on you
• “no - you can’t just say that and not tell me.”
  
• you sit down beside him and taeyong does nothing when you get into his personal space he just looks at you up close
• how is someone thrown into such chaos still so clueless?
•  shoving yourself into him, a criminal - a mysterious man who you’ve spent no more than two months with - how are you not afraid?
• “if im nothing than what am i?”
  
• “you’re my responsibility. im not going to let you get hurt.”
  
• it’s a generic answer with absolutely no emotion behind it, so you dig again
• “no - you could have just handed me permanently off to mark then. why am i here with you then. lee taeyong, if im really nothing or something to protect like a porcelain doll on the high shelf of a bookcase then why am i-”
  
• taeyong leans in his lips flutter to the corner of yours and the entire world stops spinning
• you think you hear a sound of broken sadness in his voice when he whipsers against your skin
• “you are everything - because you are free, you don’t belong to anyone. you aren’t in debt to anyone. and you are a real -”
  
• he breathes in and then pulls back as he seems to come into his senses
• he gets up and puts his hands over his mouth like it has just touched fire
• “im sorry-”
  
• he starts and then seems to double over
• you get up and try to help him, but he just ducks from your touch immediately
• “please, im sorry just lea- just leave me alone. please.”
  
• you know this isn’t him just trying to get out of a conversation so you respect his wishes and back away and into your room
• you shut the door and then turn to the closed window beside your desk
• yanking it open you stick your head out into the night sky
• you breath it in and try to process what just happened
• lee taeyong…………tried to kiss me?
• you can’t even fully wrap your mind around it when you hear your phone calling 
• you almost hit your head pulling it from the window and reach for the phone to see who it is
• you expect mark or johnny, someone checking up on you, but the number is unknown
• you blink and on reflex pick up before cursing to yourself
• whoever is on the other line giggles
• “that’s not very sweet language, now tell me - are you going to come back and play a game with me some time soon?”
  
• that voice………..it’s………..it’s the………
• “you do remember don’t you, im the queen. but you can call me irene if you want~ either way, you must come back and join me for a game. spade - ah you might know her as seulgi mentioned you wanted to meet me and well, we were so rudely interrupted last time.”
  
• you open your mouth, but the queen seems to sense it and makes a long shhhh sound into the receiver
• you can’t even eek out a word so you listen
• “i’ll be waiting then and oh, do bring taeyong along with you. i do always love to see him at my table.”
  
• the line goes dead and the phone slips from your hand and down to the floor
• the door opens and it’s taeyong again - he looks like he’s still struggling and wants to apologize again
• but the paled look on your face brings him drastically back to a look of concern
• he sees the phone and your expression and it all clicks into place
• “she called, didn’t she?”
• so much for just being regular…...
• you think as you look at doyoung and jungwoo who are stationed by the entrance to your apartment - both holding weapons and talking through ear pieces
• you know down by the street is a car with sicheng and haechan in it and at the end of the hall in the empty apartment is johnny and taeil
• jaehyun is one call away - fretting about the relationship between the jungs and the queens people more than he is about you 
• which is fine on your part, you actually wish so badly that everyone would just go away
• you just want to be alone with taeyong again and you want him to let you know what this is all - at the core about -
• “i need permission to stay in your bedroom.”
  
• mark’s voice waivers with a shyness but you can tell he is more than anything telling you rather than simply requesting
• “someone has to have eyes on you all hours of the -”
  
• “taeyong?”
  
• you turn to try and find him and he gets up as soon as he hears his name
• mark’s lips thin a little and he looks at taeyong with defeat, “they want you.”
• taeyong nods as mark switches places with him and taeyong reels a bit when he whispers
• “you should take mark.”
  
• “no. you know her people the best, you’re my safest option.”
  
• something looks almost hurt by that reasoning in taeyong’s eyes and you want to add “but i also still need to talk to you” which you decide wouldn’t be the most ideal to say now
• when the entire building of yours is crawling with jung people
• taeyong nods and he follows you into your room again - you shut and lock the door and he gets the window before he slides down onto the floor
• “what are you doing?”
  
• “it’s carpeted so it should be fin-”
  
• you tug him up by the wrist - and taeyong knows he could resist (as you also know he could) but he lets you 
• and you tug him over to the bed
• “i wanted to apologize again for touching you back then i shouldn’t hav-”
  
• he starts and you know he’s talking about the almost kiss and you just groan
• “shuttup, like anyone would be sorry to have been kissed by you. you have seen yourself right?”
  
• taeyong stirs
• “and also - i don’t care about it. if it was a mistake or a reason to make me stop talking, what i care about is what you said after. you said i don’t belong to anyone, that im not in debt to anyone is that what this is.”
  
• you hear some noise outside the door - footsteps and everything - but right now 
• you are in this bubble with taeyong
• “do you owe something to the queen, and now she’s going to do anything to get you back for it?”
  
• you hit the nail on the head - you can tell just from the way taeyong tries hard not to swallow and his pupils almost expand
• you wait and you wait and you wait
• and taeyong thinks again to himself - what are you, you aren’t normal, stickign your noise into dangerous business. chasing him into that casino. you are - something different.
• “yes.”
  
• “do you owe her money - i don’t get it you said it’s not about-”
  
• you choke out the words when he suddenly pull his shirt up and off - he takes your hand and gently places it on the scar that he wears on his shoulder
• “she did this. when you become one of the queens cards, you take an oath. i didn’t want to do that so she - she ran after me with a knife and -”
  
• you furrow your eyebrows
• “wait - she wanted you to work for her? but she only had women around her-”
  
• “she wanted me to be the ace. her spade is seulgi and her heart is joy, the club is another woman named yeri and i was going to be the ace. because she trusted me and i ……. and i chose the jungs.”
  
• you look at the risen and healed skin
• “why the jungs?”
  
• “you asked why you didn’t get killed on the night you found out about us…….its because as harsh and as illegal some of the things the jungs do - they are not going to take someone innocent and murder them. at least, jaehyun wouldn’t allow it. his father probably doesn’t care either way.”
  
• taeyong slips his shirt back on and looks at you
• “the q- irene is ruthless. it’s hard being a woman in the underground, she doesn’t have any other choice but to be cruel. im not saying that she’s the devil - but if you had stumbled into a situation like yours in front of her - i can’t be certain that she’d give you an ultimatum.”
  
• you picture irene in your head, with her beautiful small face and eyes like black diamonds scanning the table 
• she’s just like taeyong, gorgeous beyond earthly belief, but maybe a part of her humanity is gone too
• “is that her grudge, that you chose the jungs and not her?”
  
• “yes, that’s part of it. i think i hurt her - she wasn’t in love with me or anything, don’t get me wrong, but i think she thought she had my allegiance and …… she didn’t.”
  
• “so she probably felt betrayed, or like something of hers was taken.”
  
• you mumble and you don’t realize how close you are now to taeyong
• his body heat surrounding you and yours surronding him
• “exactly, so now she thinks she must take something of mine and that maybe it’ll hurt me enough or convince me to come back to her side- i don’t know but right now i know that she-”
  
• his hand twitches and you’re young sure but you know when a man wants to touch you
• so you reach and let the nervous fingers of his drop to your shoulder - then trail up your neck
• “i know that she believes if she takes you - she’ll win.”
  
• all of that disgust, annoyance, and general sourness that you had felt from taeyong almost since the first day of your time with the jungs seems to have been wiped clean
• right now the only