#oc friendly

“I’m having an existential crisis. I was coming up with New Years resolutions, and I realized I’m too far gone. There’s no fixing me now.” The words from the Sargent were clipped,  his blue eyes hardened to match the glinting vibranium of his arm. The once playful man had been through hell more than his share of times, between fighting in a war, being brainwashed by H.Y.D.R.A… The issue with the Sokovia Accords, Stark… He was at his end. 

James could remember times when  New Years Eve was a great time, the ladies were easy to pick up, the alcohol cheap, the music loud. He had fun back in the day, waiting for the New Year to be brought in, often with a kiss or two from a stranger. Living in New York had it’s perks this time of the year, even if the snow was impossible to shift through some mornings. 

Putting a cigarette between his teeth he lit it, inhaling as if the nicotine  was the only cure for the poison in the air around him. The little red book haunted him. Without much time he could be changed back into the monster that had murdered countless people. 

Like Howard and Maria. 

Picking up his pace as he moved, he glanced back to the other person he had spoken to so gruffly, his cold gaze softening slightly as he frowned, pulling the lit smoke away, puffing out the grey cloud. 

“It’s better if I just vanish. Make sure I’m far, far away from anyone at all times. I lived like that once. It wont be too much trouble to live like that again.” The lie was well worded, his chest tight at the thought of being so alone again. He finally had his friend back. Steve was back in his life and he hadn’t been a danger to people for a good long while. He’d made new friends. 

‘If you really cared, you’d already be gone.’