#ocdlife

my life would seriously be so much easier and less stressful if my ocd didn’t make me feel the need to organize everything in a particular way lol it affects so many things that you would never even think of unless you had to experience it yourself and like i could try to let go of that way of thinking but i don’t want to i like it this way?? it’s just so hard to keep up w/

I HATE HAVING OCD!

Apparently in this hell journey of OCD I have developed pieces of cleaning and dirty OCD. I have been on a manic episode kick of cleaning every single thing in my room for the last 3 days. I just spent the last 11 hours doing nothing but sorting and cleaning. THEN I just had to take a shower and SCRUB myself clean because I felt dirty and disgusting and had to get it off. I’ve been up since 5:15 am Tuesday. I should be exhausted considering it’s 1:50 am Wednesday as I type this….but I’m not. Its been almost 24 hours. Ugh! I hate this stupid disorder. It is taking over ever inch of my life

I thought I had at least one bit of solace knowing I didn’t have the contamination aspect of this disorder, just the “Just Right” ritualistic ordering, counting, alignment stage. I feel like I’m never going to get back to normal. This disorder is steadily stealing pieces old my day-to-day.