#painful even
I’ve been back and forth on this for what seems like forever but for my own sake I need finally make a choice so I stop beating myself up over it.
When I first came back to the PokeAsk community with this blog, my goal was to get into that ever elusive “Finished Blog Club”. I was so determined! I finally had a story to tell about character I loved, and I still care about this blog very much so! But my brain has a nasty habit of hyping myself up for projects and then leaving them to gather dust. I hate it but if my mind isn’t in it, it becomes genuinely draining to continue on. Plus, as I have mentioned before, I’m getting married in June. With The Other Q finishing up his degree by the end of the year as well we’ve been making plans for where to go from there and what we want to do. Life forces you to move on even if you don’t want to, yknow? I enjoy fandom content but I’ve come to realize I’ve been using it as a safety net of sorts. It’s easier to create content when the background is already in place for you, and you can just explain almost anything away as a “headcanon”. I need to teach myself to branch out and flex my story telling glands on more original works. I need to not be scared of creating original content.
That, and…It seems like drama is really on and off these days. I really wanted to help be a beacon of positivity within the community but as time went on and it was one thing after another it became harder. I wanted to reach out and make friends but the more the environment was muddied with the drama the more I felt..Scared? Unsafe, I guess? Hard to say. I may sound selfish but I suppose I’m just trying to look out for my own mental health first so I apologize.
Negative aspects aside, it’s been a wonderful number of years in this community. I’ve met so many wonderfully talented artists and cannot thank you all enough for the overwhelming amount of support and love I have received during my time here.
I may lurk around and you may see me like a post or leave a comment every now and again, but as far as this blog’s story goes it’s on hiatus. I don’t know if this is a permanent goodbye as my mind still hasn’t fully settled into a decision, so for now we can call it a see you later. I’ll be closing the askbox after today so if you have any comments or questions feel free to shoot me one for the time being.
Take care of yourselves, alright?
~Mod Q
