#park chunae

note; thank u for requesting! i’m sorry if this is bad,,

nct masterlist (lnks will be added later)

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

‘Sungie, it’s your turn,’ you mumble sleepily, shaking his shoulder gently.

‘Ok,’ Jisung murmurs back, ‘I’m going.’

You and Jisung had just had your first child together, a daughter named Chunae.

It was hard.

You found that you had fallen so much deeper in love with Jisung over the course of your pregnancy and the first few weeks of your little girls life. You would walk into the nursery and find Jisung asleep in the armchair with the baby on his chest, matching bottom lips sticking out. It filled your heart with so much love and pride at what you’d built with him, the happiness and home that you’d created together. For Jisung, he couldn’t believe he finally had a baby of his own. He’d seen so many of his members become fathers over the years, and had longed to become one himself for a long time. Now that he was one, it hadn’t fully sunk in yet, but he loved Chunae more than anything.

Despite this, Chunae was not an easy baby. For her first week of life, it was generally somewhat straightforward to calm down. It seemed to be one of four things; she was hungry, she needed changed, she wanted a cuddle or had a bad stomach.

These situations were fairly easy to resolve - you would breastfeed her or Jisung would give her a bottle, she would be changed, cuddled or given a stomach massage. Something Jisung loved was hearing her satisfied grunts, her little milk coma face was his favourite sight. But after a couple of weeks, the crying got worse.

Chunae would cry for hours on end, for seemingly. No reason at all. You would both desperately try to calm her, offering her bottles, giving her baths, changing the temperature in case she was too hot or cold, constant back rubs and pats, but nothing would change. She would just cry incessantly.

‘I think she might have colic,’ you sigh midway through one of these episodes.

Jisung only nods, cradling Chunae in his chest and stroking her back while she screams.

The two of you devised a sort of system that would happen when Chunae would cry. If you had not long fed her, Jisung would have to be the one to get up. He insisted on this, wanting you to rest.

‘Hi baby,’ Jisung stumbles into her nursery, rubbing his tired eyes, ‘come here.’

He leans over her crib and lifts her out gently, cradling her against his chest over the shoulder.

‘What’s the matter, hmm?’

Chunae just screams, and Jisung mentally begins preparing himself for the next couple of hours. He begins rocking Chunae in his arms, humming a random NCT Dream song quietly. He massages her back as slowly as he can, hoping to calm her, but to no avail.

‘Let’s just cuddle, okay?’ Jisung had read up a lot on colic, and how to help Chunae. The biggest tip generally was to just give cuddles, so that was what the both of you did with her most nights. Jisung sinks down into the armchair, settling Chunae so that she’s laying in his arms.

‘Don’t cry baby,’ he mumbles, ‘you’re okay. There’s no need to cry, everything’s okay.’

She quietens down a bit, but still strangled cries escape from her lips.

Being sat down with his baby daughter, it suddenly hits Jisung just how tired he is. He’s running on next to no sleep, big thick black bags under his eyes as evidence. He smells a little too, both from the lack of a regular shower and the baby powder and milk.

‘You take the life out of me,’ Jisung sighs, ‘what do I have to do to make you stop crying, huh?’

Chunae just keeps screaming.

So this was what being a father was like.

His hyungs had told him countless times that he would be awake all night with the baby, unable to stop them from crying endlessly, and just how constantly exhausted he would be. But he underestimated just how hard on him it would be. It was difficult to express sometimes. He knew you really have the brunt of it. You’re Chunae’s mother. You carried and gave birth to her, breastfeed her constantly throughout they day, and when you’re not doing that you’re pumping for bottles. Your body is tested every single day, hormones and emotions constantly running high. You’re upset and emotional, but still working so hard for your daughter. Jisung admired you so much. You were the most devoted and strong mother, and the things he had seen your body do were incredible, and it made him love you even more than he thought he could. He knew that his exhaustion wasn’t nearly as close to what you were likely feeling. Jisung tried so hard to help, taking over feeding and night time duties whenever he could to allow you to rest and take it easy. But he didn’t feel like it was fair to you to say he was tired. Despite that, this was when Jisung really felt like he had become a father. This baby in his arms was his, made from him and the person he loved most, his to take care of and attend to every need, to keep alive, to love and to mould into a happy and kind person.

Jisung sits with her for over an hour as her sobs gradually fade into weak murmurs.

‘Finally tired?’ Jisung whispers, ‘just close your eyes.’

Once Jisung is sure that she’s sound asleep, he gently lowers her into her crib, before tiptoeing out of the room.

He’s so relieved to climb back into your bed, even though his side is now cold to lie in.

‘Thank you,’ you mumble, half-asleep, ‘love you.’

Jisung kisses the side of your head and settles down into the mattress, falling asleep quickly. Until two hours later and she’s crying again.