Pero Tovar and Female Reader (nicknamed Bee) Modern AU
You’re still struggling to process your encounters with the dangerous Pero, and end up asking your father for help. Meanwhile, someone appears to have been sneaking around your house at night.
Creator chooses not to use Warnings!This is 18+ONLY! I’m happy to elaborate on what to expect from this part via DM.
You settled back into your well-established routines over the next few days, but a sense of unease lingered under your skin. The story remained the biggest headline over the weekend, but when nothing new had been reported concerning the maiming by Monday, people had moved on, gone back to work, and life returned to normal in the sleepy community. Not for you, though.
I’ve been re-reading DMT the past few days, and this little drabble just came to me. I still love and miss these guys so much!
Rating: Everyone Warnings: None. Word count: 619 Masterlist of the original story (Gif by me)
You stepped out of the car in the parking lot, remembering the last time you’d been there, almost two years ago now, and how oddly emotional it had ended up being. Walking into the shop you realized that you’d never actually had a chance to peruse the place before, and took your time strolling down the aisles, looking at the large variety of items for sale. You knew what you were looking for, though, and once you’d found it, you stopped dawdling and headed for the checkout desk.
Words: 1300 ~ Warnings:self-deprecating thoughts; Tovar needs his own warning
Pairing:Pero Tovar x female!doctor!reader
Thanking my dear spouse @songsformonkeys for the beta!
*******
He likes this new world, does he? You think irritably as you microwave some mac and cheese. Let’s see how he likes microwaved food.
The machine dings and you yank open the door. The aroma of cheese and freeze-dried bacon fills the room, and even though you know the meal will have almost zero nutritional value, your stomach rumbles anyway.
You flick the TV on to an old episode of Judge Judy. On screen, Judy is berating a contractor for drawing genitalia on the outside of the house he built for a client who didn’t pay, saying the man had weakened his case.
The fee-dodging client argued that the “unseemly large” penis drawn on his front door had given his wife a case of the vapours.
The contractor countered that perhaps the client’s wife had just never seen an impressive wang before.
Prompt:character is taken hostage by the antagonist, their lover goes absolutely ballistic, doing everything in their power to protect their lover, the antagonist has to restrain them, but it doesn’t stop the character from trying to reach their lover, doesn’t matter what happens to them, doesn’t matter if they get beaten as long as their lover is safe & “ it’s you and me, forever. no matter what.“ (requested by @lv7867 for my 3k follower celebration, thank you so much!)
Warnings: kidnapping, injury, hurt/comfort, mention of sex, protective!Tovar, character death, slight violence and blood
Notes: Blanket statement that my blog is 18+ only even if this one isn’t explicit. I love how multiple people requested this prompt cause y’all know I live for this!!! I obviously got very carried away with this one too so I hope y’all enjoy!! I have an update blog too to stay up to date on when I post @flightlessangelwings-updates
~
The tavern bustled with life as you ran between tables with large jugs of ale in both hands. The sun had set long ago, but business did not rest as the townspeople filled the space to rest and relax from their long day. Your job, however, had just begun and you moved as fast as you could to get everyone their drinks. Friendly, familiar faces filled the room as all the patrons thanked you by name.
But there was one face you really looked forward to seeing. It was a face you hadn’t seen in some time and one you so desperately missed.
As if on cue, the handsome mercenary that filled your thoughts walked into the room. A hood covered his head and his dark armor kept him shadowed, but you knew his figure well. His dark eyes peered from under his hood as he looked up and caught your gaze. A brief smile graced his face as his eyes met yours before he silently moved to a darkened corner of the tavern and sat down.
You quickly filled a jug for him and made your way over to his table. A grin lit up your face as you got closer to the man who held your heart, though he wasn’t aware of just how much you cared for him.
“On the house, Pero,” you spoke in a sultry tone as you slid the drink over to him, “I’m glad to see you back. I’ve missed you.”
Tovar simply nodded as he took the drink from you, “Gracias, querida.” His tone felt cold and he barely looked up at you. It was as if he ignored your very presence and didn’t care that you were there.
Something felt off. Ignoring the crowd behind you, you sat down in order to speak to him, “Is everything ok?” You reached for him and rested your hand over his.
“Fine,” he snapped back as he pulled his hand away from yours.
This was odd, Tovar never used that cold tone with you before. With everyone else, he was harsh and gruff, but never with you. He practically worshiped you, and though he was rough with you in bed, it was what you wanted and he always took such good care of you after. You always felt safe and protected with Tovar, and until this moment you thought you had cracked through his tough exterior.
“Fine!” you spat as you swiftly rose to your feet. Anger pulsed through your veins as you felt your heart break, “Are you even happy to see me after all this time?”
Tovar finally looked at you, and his face stayed neutral as he spoke a single word, “No.”
You choked back a sob as you gave in to your anger, “Ok,” your voice wavered as you spoke, “I see. I’ll leave you alone then.”
With that, you walked away and went to the back of the tavern to be alone. You tried to think of why he would act like this with you, and you wondered what you did wrong. Everything seemed fine when he felt for his mission, but suddenly it wasn’t. Your mind raced with scenarios as you pushed the back door open and stepped out for some fresh air.
It wasn’t until you were finally alone that you let your tears flow. You cursed to yourself for being so foolish for allowing yourself to fall in love, “Stupid,” you whispered to the darkness, “So stupid.”
But, your outburst was interrupted when you heard a rustle in the distance. With a gasp, you quickly gathered yourself and wiped your tears away before you strained to look down the dim alley, “Who’s there?” you called out.
Slowly, outlines of three men emerged from the shadows, and even in the low light you did not like the mischievous looks on their faces. “Hello there, beautiful,” the one who appeared to be their leader said.
You had a bad feeling about them, and you turned and tried to bolt for the door before they could say anything more. Unfortunately, you weren’t fast enough, and the leader caught your arm before you made it back inside. You tried to scream, but he quickly covered your mouth and pinned you against his body. The other two helped him and kept you from wiggling free, no matter how much you thrashed and tried to break away.
“You’re coming with us,” the leader murmured in your ear in a tone that sent chills up your spine.
“Pero…” you squeaked out before you felt a searing pain on the back of your head and your world went black.
Inside, Tovar kept his gaze pointed as he scanned the room. It was as if he was looking for something, or someone, and he kept his guard up even as everyone else around him relaxed. He wasn’t sure how much time went by since you stormed off, but it had been too long since he last saw you.
Tovar hated to treat you like that, but it was the only way he could think of to protect you, even if it meant breaking your heart… and his own.
After he decided it had been too long since he’d seen you, Tovar got up and followed your path towards the back of the tavern. He ignored the other barmaids who tried to stop him and went right for the back alleyway. He was familiar with that outdoor space; he’d fucked you there many nights in the past, but now was not that type of rendezvous. Tovar had a bad feeling in his chest, and as he opened the door to the outside and didn’t find you, his heart completely dropped.
Tovar called your name as he looked for you, but the silence that echoed was deafening. He growled as he gripped his sword, ready to fight whoever could have hurt you. He called for you again, but again was met with silence.
“Mierda,” he curbed to himself as his gaze dropped to the ground.
That was when he noticed a piece of parchment with the word “mercenary” on it. Tovar scowled as he bent over and picked up the note and his blood went cold as he read the threats on the page. The drops of blood on the edges only replaced the fear with rage as he realized the group of thieves he had been after for weeks found you and took you as ransom.
“I’m coming for you, querida,” he ripped the note and drew his sword. He would make them pay for taking you, and it wouldn’t be pretty.
*
You woke with a groan to an unfamiliar setting and the sound of men chattering. When you tried to push yourself up, you found your arms were bound behind your back. You let out a frustrated groan and rolled over onto your back, but the movement caught the men’s attention.
“Hello beautiful,” the same man from before hovered over you, “Nice to see you back with us.”
Before you could let out a protest, he grabbed you and forced you up. He didn’t seem to care about hurting you as he yanked you to your feet and he looked even more like a creep when you got a better look at him close up. Over his shoulder, the other two men from before snickered with dark smiles on their faces.
“Once we’re finished with your mercenary lover, we’re going to have lots of fun with you, my sweet.”
His words made you shiver, and you hated how helpless you felt in his grip. After a glance down, you decided to fight back anyway and you kicked him right between his legs. He let out a pained yelp as he threw you back down to the ground and gave you a kick in return. You screamed in pain as you tried to wriggle away.
“Bitch!” he cried out as he straddled you and reared up to hit you again.
“Enough!” a roar from the distance made him freeze and all eyes turned toward the figure in the shadows.
“Pero…” you breathed as you recognized the figure right away.
He shot you a quick apologetic look before he unsheathed his sword, “You are going to regret doing this, señores,” Tovar hissed.
Before the men could come up with a clever comeback, Tovar lashed out at them with a rage unlike anything you had ever seen before. The leader who had just hovered over you dropped you to the ground and went after the mercenary. With their weapons drawn, they tried to gang up on him, but Tovar’s anger fueled him as he attacked.
You watched, bound and helpless, as he took down the men ruthlessly. He growled and yelled as he cut into each of them and their blood spattered everywhere. They were just as defenseless as you were against him, even with weapons in their hands.
Once Tovar slashed his sword through the first two men, he turned his gaze towards the leader, “You will pay for what you have done,” he growled, “For hurting her.”
With a loud yell, Tovar drove his sword clean through the leader before he could even land a single strike. The leader let out a pained grunt as he dropped his weapon, but Tovar still did not stop. He pulled his sword out and stabbed him again. And again, And again.
Even as his lifeless body fell to the ground, Tovar didn’t stop. Blinded by rage, he didn’t even care that the man’s blood splashed onto his face as he continued his assault.
You watched with wide eyes, unable to look away, until you couldn’t take it anymore, “Pero!” you screamed.
It was your voice that finally broke Tovar out of his trance and he looked over at you. His arm was still frozen in place and blood stained his face. The fire in his eyes still burned until he set his gaze on you, and that was when he finally softened. With a sigh of your name, Tovar dropped his weapons and rushed over to you.
“Are you alright, querida?” His tone was soft as he helped you off the ground and quickly untied you, “They did not hurt you, did they?”
“I’m ok,” you whispered back as you fell into his arms, not caring that he was covered in blood, “Pero I…”
“Hush, querida,” he held you tightly as if he was afraid he would lose you again if he let go.
The two of you stayed like that for some time, both savoring the other’s embrace. You trembled in his arms as he held you close. All your emotions bubbled over and you burst into tears as you suddenly pushed him away, “What the hell was this all about, Pero?!” you shouted at him with tears in your eyes, “First you push me away, then I get kidnapped, now…”
Tovar cupped your face and pulled you in for a heated kiss, “I am so sorry, querida,” he mumbled against your lips when he broke away for a breath, “I only tried to protect you but…” he drifted off for a moment before he spoke again, “Querida, it’s you and me, forever. no matter what.”
You couldn’t help but smile through your tears at his words, “You mean it?”
“Of course, mi amor. I will always keep you safe,” Tovar kissed you again, only this time more slowly and deeply.
There were so many words on your mind. You wanted to tell him how you always felt safe with him, how you truly loved him. But the way you kissed him back and held onto him tightly held all the unspoken words. As long as you both had each other, that was all that mattered.
Yes, I know that this is six months too late, and in the wrong season, but I had to fix the monumental fuck-up of a sequel that I originally came up with. My sincerest apologies. You’ll find a slightly more detailed explanation of what I’m talking about here.
Description: This is a direct continuation of Pero and Genie/Reader’s story, as they spend the holidays together, trying not to tumble headfirst in love with one another, and utterly fail.
Rating: Mature 18+ONLY Warnings: Christmas themes, cursing, mild angst related to a family dispute, mentions of scars, vague smut but definitely for adults only, fluff, happy ending. Modern!pero, pero tovar x female reader. No use of y/n. Dual perspectives. Word Count: 8090 Link to Part 1
You woke up in his arms, limbs tangled through the duvet, which had somehow gotten twisted and found its way around your body even though you’d been snuggled up skin to skin with Tovar when you fell asleep. He was still holding you, as promised, sleeping heavily behind you, and for a moment you wondered what the hell you were doing. This was Pero Tovar. The guy the entire office shied away from, and with good reason. This was not a friendly or romantic or even socially adept person. Except… he had tried to be with you, last night.
He’d strayed far away from what you imagined was a very constricted comfort zone, and shared little pieces of himself with you. Small pieces that were enormous because of how little you or anyone knew about him. He’d been calm and confident as he’d directed you on what he wanted you to do to make sure that he could keep his word, not barking orders, but not really asking either, sending you into the shower while he undressed and slipped into bed. You’d debated with yourself over whether to put anything on before you joined him, because at that point, you hadn’t known what his intentions were. But you’d landed on the side of ‘who gives a shit’ and walked into the bedroom without a thread to cover any part of you. It had surprised you to see how strongly he’d reacted to that, but also how quickly he’d reigned himself in, and merely pulled back the duvet to invite you to join him. He’d then instantly shut down any thoughts you had about getting yourself sexually serviced, when he’d told you that he was simply going to hold you, nothing more. Which had oddly enough not disappointed you. Despite the itch between your legs, you’d been warmed to your core by his sudden intimacy, seeming to want nothing dearer than to just share closeness and trust for a night.
And now that the night had passed in blissful comfort and increasing familiarity, you felt like there was something new between you. Something strong. Unlike every other supposedly romantic night of your life for the past several years. You tried to twist around on your back so that you could look at him, but the duvet was also trapped underneath parts of his body, and simply wouldn’t budge, and you huffed a laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Something thrilling passed through your body when his arms tightened in his sleep at the sound, trying to pull you closer, or perhaps just making sure you couldn’t bail on him.
“Pero…?”
You’d never called him by his first name before, and it somehow made you feel powerful. The same sort of proud excitement that you’d felt when you’d just gotten your driver’s license and been given the keys to your dad’s car for the first time. It took him a second to come back to consciousness, but you felt it the moment that he stirred.
“Hm?”
“Good morning.”
“Mmm… yes, it is.”
You smiled at his rough morning voice and the obvious comfort he was in, soft and heavy with sleep, and he seemed to be able to feel your joy even though he couldn’t see your face.
“Did I keep my promise, hermosa?”
“Well and truly, sir.”
A happy little hum escaped him, followed by a tiny brush of his dry lips against your neck, making you shiver.
“Honestly Pero, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this relaxed. At least, not that I can recall. Thank you.”
There was a short pause, and then a whispered ‘anytime’. Another promise, but this one given with the understanding that you hadn’t made any commitments to him, and that he wasn’t gonna assume that you would. An offer of a promise that he was willing to make, should you want him to. Which you did. That much you’d figured out about both him and yourself now.
“I’d like that.”
Another brush against your neck, closer this time, lingering, his lips drawing unseen patterns on your skin, stopping to press featherlight kisses here and there.
“I like that too.”
He hummed again, moving to the edge of your jaw, where the kisses got warmer and fuller.
“And this?”
A mere whisper against your cheek, but so full of anticipation that it made you feel like there was electricity in the air around you, ready to burst into a spark and set the room on fire. When had your breathing changed from slow and even to jagged and forcefully restrained, to keep yourself from openly moaning? And how could you react that strongly to a touch that small?
“Yes…”
You turned your head, looking for his lips, but he teased you first, only letting his lower lip briefly make contact with yours, before pulling back a fraction with a warm smile. Mildly annoyed, you ignored the odd angle since he was still behind you, and surged towards his face, capturing his lips to kiss him like you wanted, deep and full and heated, and he responded in kind. Just like in that hallway, your passion seemed to unlock his own, and he eagerly followed your lead, lifting himself up so that you could shift the duvet and free yourself to roll to your back. You let your hands explore his chest as he positioned it over yours, but still with his hips to the side, as if he was hesitant to truly commit to this, which puzzled you. Because there was no lie or mistake in the heat he gave off, the desire so clear in every touch. And then you suddenly knew why, when your fingers danced over broken lines in his skin. Unnatural ridges and valleys, creases and dips, too smooth and yet somehow course against the unbroken parts. He kept kissing you as long as you didn’t pull away, but slower, more careful, preparing for some sort of reaction as he felt your exploration of his imperfections. You let your hands slip over his sides and continued to his back, where it got even worse, and you wondered if his fears now came from experiences of being rejected before, over the ugliness of such things? Sadness overtook you at the thought. Because what if that was part of the reason why he’d become so cold? What if he’d been met with disgust or ridicule so many times that he’d just stopped believing in the kindness of other people, choosing a life of almost complete solitude instead. Tears fell from your eyes, and you had to pull back to wipe them away, hating that he responded by increasing the distance between you, if only by a fraction.
“Are you okay?”
Calloused fingers rubbed soothing circles into the skin of your love-handle, but you weren’t sure if it was to soothe you or him, and your throat was too tight to be able to ask him, right then.
“It’s not… pretty. I know. I understand if you don’t want to look.”
Oh, god… He thought that your tears came from regret, or something? No, no, you couldn’t let him believe that, just the thought was making you angry.
“I don’t care how it looks, Pero! I just fucking hate that people have hurt you, and I hate whoever it is that’s made you think it makes you less beautiful…”
Your eyes were still filling with tears so quickly that you couldn’t see him, and the anger was only strong enough to keep your voice working for those couple of sentences, before it broke. But a mere second later, you forgot all about that, when he suddenly decided to stop holding back, stop following your lead and instead show you exactly what he wanted. He left no part of you untouched, lavishing your body with the admiration of his lips and hands, over and over, whispering sugary sweet praise over your body and your kindness, into your ear, every chance he got. As though he truly considered every perfectly measured push into your centre as the most delectable gift he could ever receive. That morning, there was no trace of the antisocial, taciturn brute that you’d been somewhat scared of ever since your first encounter with him.
It had been his first week on the job, and he’d been scheduled for his first ride-along to HQ, you being the techie he’d been charged with protecting that day. You’d ignored the hard exterior that he’d presented, at first, thinking that you wouldn’t judge this book by his cover, introducing yourself with a bright smile and an open hand, neither of which he’d reciprocated. But stubborn as you were, you’d decided that he was just nervous, anxious to do a good job, not get distracted. So, you’d spent the entire drive to and from HQ trying to engage with him, asking questions and offering small talk, telling him some of your thoughts on things regarding the company and your work, all without so much as a nod or a grunt in return. And finally, the cold harshness that he’d radiated out of every pore, had robbed you of your resolve, and you’d been unsettled by him ever since then. But last night, he’d mentioned liking you from the start, so it must all have been a front. Perhaps, his way of protecting you from himself.
Now though, as he wrung a third orgasm from your already quivering body, all those walls and pretences were torn down. The way he touched you, the care he took with your pleasure, the pride with which he entered you, claimed you, and the gratefulness with which he accepted your affection, all spoke so clearly to how willing he was to leave himself exposed and at your mercy. How willing he was to let you see his heart and claim him in return. But he didn’t ask you for it. His words held no pleads for your ears, no whispered need for you to want him, all he gave you was praise and appreciation, hoping that you’d make the choice he wished for. Christ… how many times had you been the one doing that? How many times had you done everything in your power to be wanted, save desperately begging for it, only to be discarded? You helped each other come back down and find your breaths again, and then just laid there, cuddled close and facing one another, content to do nothing else.
“How do you feel, hermosa?”
“Exhausted. In the best way possible.”
You smiled and he mirrored you, letting his fingers trail your spine, one vertebra at a time. Your eyes drifted down to his chest and abdomen, taking a closer look at those scars now that your eyes were dry, and you felt a crease settle into your forehead.
“How are you still alive?”
The hand at your back kept moving without pause, which you took as a sign that he might not find this topic too traumatic to have a quiet conversation about.
“I worked with a very good medic.”
His voice was strong but kept low. You got the feeling that there was a lot more to it than that, but you wouldn’t push him. Odds were, being able to share anything at all was new to him, and you didn’t wanna scare him off the topic.
“I hope I’ll get the chance to thank him some day.”
His eyes dipped just a fraction, and he tugged you a little closer as if looking for comfort, but you couldn’t tell if it was due to sadness or something more complex. Survivor’s guilt, maybe.
“If you believe in Heaven, then you can pray to him, because I have no doubt he’d be there.”
“Oh… I’m sorry.”
He nodded once but remained silent, so you closed your eyes and nestled yourself deeper into his chest, letting him be free of your scrutiny, in case he wasn’t ready to let you see him in pain. You couldn’t tell if he cried, but after a while, he seemed to soften, as if something heavy had been lifted off his chest.
“Thank you.”
His words were small, but also enormous, and you hoped he knew that he was safe with you.
“Are you okay?”
“More than I ever have been. Except…”
“Except what?”
“Well, I’m not terribly inclined to leave this bed just yet, but… I’m really hungry.”
That made you laugh, and you felt him get infected by it, joining your mirth for a minute.
“What time is it even?”
You pulled away from him to reach for your phone, having to crawl on your hands to keep your lower body still in the bed, as the thing had ended up on the floor at some point.
*****
Pero watched with tremendous appreciation, how your ass curved towards him as your upper body left the bed and you stretched yourself to reach the device on the floor. He felt certain now that you wouldn’t think him greedy if he were to grab you and pull you back so that he could bury himself inside you again, but he still refrained. Because you weren’t just someone. You meant something to him, your every movement, every word, every look held meaning to his eyes, and he didn’t want you to ever think that he merely wanted your curves for his own pleasures. He was unfamiliar with this type of relationship, this emotional closeness on top of the physical, and he needed to be careful not to scare you away. Not to make assumptions. You’d been so kind and understanding already, somehow knowing that he needed to hear your outrage at his imperfections, and that he’d be uncomfortable letting you see him suffer with the grief and pain he carried towards his lost brothers. He’d been so scared last night, making those confessions to you, exposing himself like that, knowing that you had no reason to even believe him, with how distant and unresponsive he’d always been towards you. With the reveal of the mistletoe, he’d nearly just left you standing there, as his own heart had threatened to fall apart with the realization that that kiss… that unexpected, enchanting, perfect kiss… was just frustration. Nothing more. You’d been so uncertain for that entire conversation, understandably so, that he hadn’t expected it to go anywhere even if you somehow hadn’t rejected him. The best he’d dared to hope for, had been that you’d agree to talk more some other time, possibly over lunch. The date he’d perpetually chickened out of asking you for. And now here he was, in your bed, trying his damnedest not to move too fast, to ask for too much, because if he screwed this up, he’d never dare to try again.
“12:30!? Well, no wonder you’re frickin starving.”
He bit back a response about you looking like you could hold him over until dinner, because you both really did need to eat. You groaned and pulled your lower half out of the bed and then surprisingly gracefully stood up fully in an almost dance-like manoeuvre.
“Ugh… but I really don’t feel like cooking lunch right now. Would you be okay with pizza?”
His mind was still elsewhere, though.
“How’d you do that?”
“Do what?”
“That thing you just did, standing up from that odd position. It looked so easy, even though you were all twisted and tangled…”
A bright smile spread across your face, lit from within by something he couldn’t decipher, taking his breath away as easily as a punch to the gut, but thankfully without the pain.
“I was a cat in a previous life. But not a housecat, mind you, a real one. Leopard, or possibly cheetah.”
“I would say cheetah.”
You didn’t ask him why he thought that, you just flipped the phone over in your hand a couple of times, still with that smile on your face.
“So, how about that pizza?”
“Sounds delicious.”
In the half-hour before the food arrived, you both cleaned up and got dressed, you in soft sweats and a tank top, and him in his dress-pants and shirt, keeping the top three buttons undone, of which you seemed to approve. While you ate, you talked about trivial things, like favourite foods, books and movies, but as the slices got fewer, the conversation shifted, and suddenly you were talking about families, a subject you seemed to find incredibly uncomfortable.
“You don’t have to tell me, I’m just curious because it’s something I don’t really have any experience with.”
You’d mentioned that you weren’t going to do the whole Christmas dinner thing, because that had always been a family thing to you, and since you didn’t have yours anymore, it seemed only painful to you. At which point, he’d asked you why, and you’d merely turned a fraction away from him in your seat. But this question brought your focus back to him.
“You have no experience with family?”
“No. Not like that. Eventually, the military became my family, but the place where I grew up couldn’t be called anything of the sort.”
“Why not?”
“Because I was adopted when I was four, but not out of love or desire for a child. The couple that took me in had the misguided notion that raising children isn’t about giving them comfort, only knowledge and structure. They home-schooled me and two other adopted children, very diligently, and they were actually good teachers. They just weren’t parents.”
“Oh. Did you get to go to college?”
“No. They kept us at home until we were eighteen, and then I enlisted. It was the one time I can recall seeing them look proud of me. And then I got there, and realized that nothing much had changed, except that I was allowed to use weapons and trained how to fight, so I was comfortable there. I advanced quickly since I never disobeyed orders or had any friends that could rope me into trouble, and after just a few years, I was approached about joining more specialized units and eventually ended up in black ops. That was where I learned what family is.”
“Somehow, that seems unlikely.”
“I know. But in those smaller units, protecting each other is the only safety net you have. I didn’t have the option of continuing to be distant and closed off with them, or I wouldn’t have been able to count on them to have my back.”
“So, they showed you how to care about other people?”
“Exactly.”
“But… they’re all gone now?”
He merely nodded at that, the hurt of that loss still biting at his heart, even after five years.
“I’m sorry.”
You looked so sad for him, and he didn’t want you to, but he was also grateful that you cared that much about his heart.
“I wish… that I could talk about them. That I could tell you everything about each one of them… but…”
“Hey, it’s okay.”
You reached out and took his hand on the table, and he loved that you sought that contact with him.
“I might not be able to understand just how deeply this hurts you, but I can see it, and I don’t want you to go there if you can’t. If it’ll only hurt you more.”
He wanted to thank you, to take you in his arms and beg you to never leave, because no one else could possibly put him at ease in the same way that you did. But it was too soon for words like that, for commitments that deep and impactful, so instead, he turned the conversation back to you.
“Can I ask what happened with your family?”
You didn’t pull back or let go of his hand, but a sigh that seemed drawn from somewhere around the floor, pushed through your lips, and suddenly you were the one that looked pained.
“To tell you the truth, I don’t even really know. I wasn’t there when it happened. It was thanksgiving, eight years ago, I was in college and couldn’t come home that weekend because I had a big exam coming up and I’d been stupid and played around with computers instead of studying, so I needed to cram.”
“Why does that sound entirely believable?”
A smile found its way back into your features for a moment, and you mockingly slapped his hand.
“Shut up… Anyway, I got a call later that night, from my older brother Jim, screaming his lungs out at me for telling our younger brother Brody about Jim being gay, which I hadn’t done. But he was so sure that I was the only one who knew that he figured it had to be me, and he wouldn’t hear anything else. He hung up before I’d even had a chance to defend myself, right after telling me that I was a lying bitch and never to talk to him again.”
“What did it matter if they knew? Was he ashamed of it?”
“No, not outwardly, but our parents are very religious and the mere thought that any one of us would stray from the norm is intolerable to them. So, he felt compelled to hide it, just so they’d never find out. Naturally, the next call I got was from them, asking me how I could’ve hidden something so damning and disastrous from them, because if only they’d known sooner, they could’ve ‘fixed’ him.”
You paused to let out a disgusted grunt, shaking your head and staring out the window.
“I think I actually stopped loving them right then. Like a blade had fallen between us, severing any connection between our souls. I’d never been at odds with them growing up, our relationships had been good, but in that moment, I just couldn’t believe that we were related anymore. I didn’t wanna be. And that’s what I told them. I got legal documents in the mail a few weeks later, declaring me disowned from the family and removed from my parent’s respective will’s.”
Pero just stared at you, unable to find anything to say, so you kept going.
“Naturally, my next call that night was to Brody, to ask why the fuck he’d thought it’d be a good idea to open his mouth about something that didn’t concern him, to which he replied: Because he got on my nerves. The selfish little shit had thrown a bomb into the family, just because Jim had done what big brothers do, and taken him down a notch when he got too cocky. I was the one that hung up on him, after yelling almost exactly that, adding that if his goal was to have no family at all, then he’d certainly succeeded. I haven’t spoken to any one of them since.”
He watched you closely, still staring out the kitchen window, looking for answers that you knew would never be there, and he wondered if you’d be willing to let him be your family. To let him give you a family… He had to remind himself that it had only been one night and was way too early for those kinds of thoughts. But stars above, did the images in his head make him yearn for it, even though he’d never once seriously considered it before.
“What are you doing tomorrow, hermosa?”
The question seemed to jerk you out of the past and you refocused on him with an almost comically surprised expression.
“Uh… nothing special. As always.”
“Well, I’d like to do something… with you. It’s a little tradition, nothing fancy, just crappy food and the movies, stuff we used to dream about getting to do on holidays, when we were deployed and only had rations for food and the stars for entertainment.”
That brought your bright smile back, and he couldn’t help but mirror you.
“I’d love to join you, that sounds wonderful.”
“Thank you.”
He leaned over the corner of the table and kissed you, still reeling internally at the fact that you let him do that.
“It’s a date, then. Can I pick you up at noon?”
Your smile faded like a sparkler that had burned down to the bottom, and for a second, he worried that he had indeed overstepped somehow.
“You’re leaving?”
The sudden emptiness in your voice and disappointment in your eyes made him wanna do cartwheels. Because you really didn’t want him to leave.
“I need to go home and change. And I think… we both need a minute with… all this. But I promise you, hermosa, I’m not ditching you.”
“You’d better not. I’m a cheetah, remember?”
He smiled warmly at you, feeling his chest swell with the pride of knowing that you wanted him. Imperfections and all.
“I remember everything about you.”
Another kiss, this one deeper and longer, as he attempted to let his lips show you just how much he wanted to stay. Never before had he felt this softness from himself. This need to take care of someone, inside and out, so he had no idea if he was even doing it right, but he felt largely powerless against it anyway. Against his own desires, he pulled away and went to collect his few things before stepping into the hall to put his shoes on. You came to hug him goodbye, but neither of you said anything, and he left your apartment feeling… giddy? Yes, giddy was the closest thing he could find to describe the feeling of knowing that he’d see you again in less then 22 hours. There was a chill in the air that spoke of impending snow, but it did nothing to cool him down as he walked the four miles back to the office to retrieve his car, having taken yours the night before. He got home at early dinnertime, but somehow wasn’t all that hungry, opting to step into the shower instead, where the warm water reminded him of your soft skin against his, and kept him in there three times longer than his usual cleaning routine required. How were you already such a permanent feature of his existence? He wasn’t surprised that you’d so effortlessly snuck behind his armour and broken all barriers between you, because he hadn’t even tried to keep them up against you. But he wondered how you’d somehow become so integral to his ability to breathe, to do anything anymore, with nothing but a wish to be made to feel good for a night? He had no answers for these questions and that didn’t bother him in the least. The only thing that did was that his hand felt hopelessly inadequate compared to your soft and silky core, no matter how clearly the image of your pleasure played on the insides of his eyes, while the water kept caressing his skin. He wanted more. He wanted to beg you to let him have you, every time he felt like it, but it was too soon, and his greatest fear right now was scaring you away.
*****
You felt a little silly where you stood in front of the hallway mirror, needlessly fiddling with the sleeves of your dress. He’d said that it wasn’t a fancy thing, but you’d still wanted to dress up for him, and now it was 11:51 and you didn’t have time to change, so too much or not, it would have to do. It wasn’t that bad, though. The dress was basically just a mid-thigh-long, figure hugging, knitted sweater, with a big soft collar that loosely bunched up around the base of your neck and shoulders, and the sleeves were full length. It was off-white with thin threads of something silvery woven in at regular intervals, making it look kinda sparkly and festive, while still feeling like something you could also wear just to cuddle up in the sofa. To complete the look, and since it was cold outside with the first inches of snow having fallen overnight, you’d put on black tights underneath, also with a shimmer to them, and you were just uncertain as to whether this look would be considered fancy or casual? You damn near hit your head on the ceiling when the doorbell rang, taking you out of your nervous ramblings, and almost out of your own skin. Taking a second to calm your heart so that he wouldn’t think something bad had happened, you opened the door to find an equally well-dressed Pero meeting your eyes with a smile. You couldn’t help but chuckle when you took in his attire, seemingly new jeans of a high-end brand, a gorgeous dark green V-neck jersey, and a thermal lined brown leather jacket that matched his eyes, to top it off.
“I guess we both decided not to be too casual, after all.”
You stepped back to let him in and saw his eyes travel over your form before returning to your eyes, as he walked in and closed the door behind him.
“You look beautiful.”
“So do you. I love that jacket.”
Something wistful came over him for a moment, and then his smile shifted to a more nostalgic kind of joy. A good memory, perhaps, tainted by loss.
“It was a gift from my brothers. The only one I’ve ever gotten.”
“Oh. Wait… you’ve never gotten any Christmas presents?”
“No.”
“Wow. Okay, I may not be that into the whole spirit of the holidays-thing, but we are doing presents every year from now on.”
He tried to school his features to downplay just how clearly he’d heard the words ‘we’ and ‘every year’, but his failure was epic. The boyish grin, the excited eyes, the sheer hope radiating off him from the second you’d uttered those words, could’ve lit an entire house for a month. If you’d had any fears that he wasn’t in this for the long run, they vanished at the sight, leaving you wondering when exactly you’d decided that you were going for long term here? Anyway, you couldn’t help but tease him a little.
“Unless you think you’ll have other plans next year. I wouldn’t wanna assume…”
He silenced you with a heated kiss, his hands grabbing at your hips to pull you into him while he backed you against the wall, and in no seconds flat, you were suddenly way too hot. But he somehow managed to stop himself at that point, pulling away from your lips, but only as far as kissing down your neck instead, while his fingers dug deeper into the softer flesh of your sides.
“I only want to make plans with you, hermosa. Only you.”
The way your heart fluttered hearing that, made you truly believe that you could fly, for a few beats. How was it that it was Pero Tovar of all people, that managed to make you feel like that? You trailed your arms along his shoulders and down his upper back, snaring him into a strong hug, and again he followed your lead, mirroring the movement so that you were just standing there hugging, taking that moment into your memory-banks forever. Because somehow you could feel that this was the moment. The one where you knew that this was how it was gonna be from now on: the two of you, together.
“I really like the sound of that. So… what are our plans for today, again?”
He hummed in appreciation of your barely hidden suggestion of skipping on those plans, but he didn’t seem inclined to agree, when his grip loosened, and he pulled back fully, only keeping one of your hands in one of his.
“That’s very tempting. But I would like to show you my little tradition, even though it’s mostly silly.”
You smiled and reached for your black wool coat and purple knitted hat and mittens.
“I’m happy to go be silly for a day. Just promise me it’ll end with the two of us in the same bed again.”
“Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”
He took you to a market, but not the big one in the city centre, full of overprized knickknacks and candy. This one was an hour’s drive outside of town, and exactly what a Christmas market should be, in your humble opinion. It followed a narrow winding street through an old village, and every single stand was full of handcrafted useful things, such as all manner of knitted works, from oven mitts to sweaters, made from wool spun by the sellers themselves from their own sheep. Handmade jewellery crafted from leather, hair, tin, silver or steel, glassware and sculptures made by a self-taught glassblower, whose everyday job was as an electrician. And so many different types of wooden things that you couldn’t even keep up. From cutlery to actual hand-carved canoes… The air smelled of pine, confectionery, mulled wine, hot cocoa and wood-fires. It was the cosiest place you’d ever visited, just an hour away, and you’d never even known it was there. Pero insisted on buying your present there, asking you to pick something you wouldn’t get for yourself, and he’d get it for you. You chose a delicate looking silver necklace with a pendant made of steel, in the shape of a dragon, made with exquisite detail for something no bigger than your thumb. It wasn’t exactly expensive, but not cheap trash either, so it felt appropriate for a gift.
“I haven’t seen you wear jewellery very often.”
“I don’t have that much. A couple of rings, some earrings and one other necklace, but it’s all inherited from my grandmother. I only wear it for special occasions.”
He nodded, looking at the small handmade wooden box that the necklace was delivered in, as you’d opted not to wear it right now, and a crooked little smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“This would’ve looked really good with that dress from the party.”
You couldn’t help the sudden rise in your eyebrows.
“You think so, huh? I was under the impression that you barely even noticed it.”
“Oh, hermosa… I noticed. I fought very hard with myself not to look for you just so I could gawk at you. And then when I had the chance, out on the balcony, you were so sad that I just couldn’t.”
“You seemed so hard to me then. I couldn’t understand why you stayed out there with me. The stone-cold brute, giving me your jacket. I was all set to gossip about you around the office come January.”
He chuckled at that.
“I think you would’ve had no problem finding eager listeners.”
“Do you hear what people say about you? I mean, does it get around to you?”
“Hah… you have met Tyler, right? I don’t listen that closely, but I do hear some of his ramblings, it’s inevitable. But let’s not talk about work.”
“Okay, then how about your present? What do you wanna get? And before you ask, I’m not getting you a canoe.”
He turned to you with exaggerated grumpiness plastered mockingly on his face, but still not that far off the real thing. A moment later, though, it was gone, replaced by the happy warmth he seemed to have taken to letting out when he was with you. He took your hand and placed it at the bend of his elbow, walking off towards the parking lot while letting you hold on to him, as the ground was slipperier where the cars had flattened the snow.
“You don’t want something from the market?”
“Nope.”
“Hey, you are aware that this is supposed to be an exchange of gifts, right? So, this better not be you refusing to let me give you something.”
“There is something I want.”
“Great! Is it something I can buy?”
“Yes. You’ll see.”
He brought you back to the city, parking near a cinema, but leading you off in a different direction, once you were on foot. It was already getting dark by then, and his path took you down an alleyway that you’d never walk alone, even in broad daylight, but at the end of it, you found a street-vendor selling cinnamon rolls from an old cart.
“Hey, Tovar! Long time, no see, how’ve you been, man?”
Pero nodded at the middle-aged man, greeting him only by name, but opting to ignore the question.
“Terrence.”
The vendor was apparently well versed with the brick wall of a man, looking completely unsurprised at the lack of a fuller response, and simply turned his infectious smile towards you next.
“Damn. I ain’t never seen you with company before, and now you suddenly bring someone this fine down to these hoods? How’d this block o’ ice get someone so soft and warm on his arm?”
You grinned at the compliment, despite the somewhat crude delivery, and decided to try and match the stranger’s humour.
“I thawed him out between my legs.”
Terrence howled at that, while Pero just closed his eyes and sighed at you, clearly uncomfortable with showing this man just how much he cared for you, but relieved that you hadn’t been offended by the vendor’s comments.
“That’d be the way to do it, I s’pose.”
You just kept smiling and shrugged at him.
“Alright, alright, I know you didn’t come here for the chitchat, so how many you want?”
He was addressing Pero again, still chuckling as he turned back to his cart to start putting warm buns into a bag.
“Full.”
“A full house? Man, you must be up to somethin’.”
He placed eight rolls into the paper bag and held it out to your date, who didn’t take it, and instead turned to you. Seriously? This is what he wanted you to buy for his present? You paid a confused looking Terrence, at which point, Pero took the bag and then your hand, before turning to walk back the way you’d come, so you threw a goodbye over your shoulder.
“Nice to meet you, T.”
“Yeah, you too, Miss Thaw. Hope I’ll see you again.”
You smiled to yourself as you walked, but then lightly bumped your companion’s arm with your shoulder.
“Did I just buy you pastries for a Christmas present?”
“Something wrong with that?”
“Well, no. You can have anything you want. Which is precisely why I’m puzzled as to why you merely chose food.”
His face turned slightly apprehensive, even though he was smiling with you.
“Because where possessions are concerned, there’s nothing I want for.”
“And what about other things?”
He hesitated, but then seemed to decide something.
“There is something I want. But that… I can’t ask for. Not yet.”
His voice told you that he was genuinely afraid of talking about it, so you chose not to press the matter, although your curiosity was spiking.
“Right, so are we eating these buns any time soon, cause I’m starving.”
“This is a season of indulgence, so we’re having the rolls for dinner, while at the movies.”
He said that just as you rounded a corner and the cinema reappeared before you, and you laughed out loud at his antics, slipping your arm back around his and falling into his step as you made your way to the entrance.
“You know, I kinda love your silly little Christmas traditions.”
He just smiled wider, which emboldened you. It was too soon to say it with all the weight that it implied, but you could still sneak the meaning into a different way of saying it. Because even though you’d only seen this side of him for a day, you were sure that it was at least where you were heading, if you hadn’t already arrived.
“I kinda love everything about you.”
The look he gave you when he suddenly stopped walking and turned to stare at you, was all the proof you’d ever need that he reciprocated. The kiss you shared, right there on the sidewalk just ten feet from the cinema-entrance, was the most tender moment of your life. You had no idea what movie you watched or what it was about, spending every second of it watching him, studying his every movement, learning every inch of the landscape of his face. And that night, you both learned just how much passion had made a home in your hearts.
*****
The screens mocked him where he sat in the surveillance room, forced to look at your floor, your office, your nimble hands sweeping over the keys, how you every so often stood up and walked around to get the blood flowing through your system again. He tried not to focus solely on you, but fuck was it hard. Primarily because something else kept getting hard too. But he couldn’t just run off and grab you to relieve the pressure in his core, only to then come back here and suffer the same problem within ten damn seconds, he might as well just quit for all the work he’d get done. You’d been back at the office for two weeks already, and it was torture. Mostly because he’d gotten used to getting to hold you whenever he felt like it, touch you without worrying who was close by or which cameras would pick it up. There was no official policy against fraternisation within the company, but when he’d been given his orientation on his first day, his supervisor, Mr. Peck, had stressed the importance of not showing favouritism towards anyone. He’d been quick to add a reminder that corporate espionage happened on all levels and that even management needed to be closely surveilled.
Back then, Pero had never even imagined that he might find himself in this position, just seven months into the job. But here he was. Perpetually uncomfortable. Because the two of you had privately agreed not to showcase your relationship at the office, seen as how you were already struggling to be accepted by your co-workers, and adding him to the mix would surely scare them away for good. But now, just two weeks in, he was already contemplating asking you to tell them to go to hell and let him bend you over your sturdy oak desk, letting everyone hear how good he was to you. Fuck… He had to stop thinking about stuff like that. The frustration was making him twice as irritable and unfriendly as his normal state, which was saying something, and didn’t go unnoticed. Especially by the ever so resilient Tyler. But even his patience was running thin.
“Seriously, dude… will you lighten up? You’re always gruff, but this is a whole new level, man.”
He didn’t even bother turning his chair to glare at the kid. It was time for a shift-change, and as per protocol, Ben had showed up fifteen minutes early for debrief, with his usually chirpy approach, only to meet a fuming Tovar after having been couped up in there for five hours. And when he hadn’t even offered his customary ‘all good’ response, the kid had asked what was up, earning him an undeserved string of Spanish expletives because, yeah… something was indeed up…
“Hey, is the 22-year-old really gonna have to kick you in the ass before you decide to start acting like a human being again? Cause I’m the one guy that isn’t scared of you, so you know I will.”
That made Pero finally throw a glance at the kid.
“Sorry.”
“Ah! He speaks, and an apology, no less. I’m shocked. Now do I get the debrief?”
He couldn’t stop the aggravated grumble in his throat, it was reflexive at this point, whenever he couldn’t be with you. The hours spent in front of the surveillance feeds weren’t always this bad, because each floor was monitored by a separate team, but on a randomly rotating schedule. So, one week he might be looking at floors one and four, another six and fifteen, and so on. But this week he’d had the misfortune of landing both of his surveillance shifts on your floor.
“Nothing.”
It was as much as he could spit out while he watched you get up and leave your office and then the floor all together, heading for your lunchbreak. He wondered if you thought about him. If you missed him as much as he longed for you.
“You’re a peach. Really, I couldn’t ask for a better partner, I mean, you never complain, you never drone about stupid personal crap that I wouldn’t be the least bit interested in, and you never even tell me to shut up. I could be in heaven, and I wouldn’t know the difference.”
The words were dripping with sarcasm, and Pero knew that he was laying it on, trying to coax a reaction out of him, but he could also hear the hurt behind the words. The wish that he would some day decide to share something. Anything.
“I’m dating Genie.”
He said it softly, just barely above a whisper, telling himself that maybe he wasn’t breaking his promise to you, maybe he was just trying to learn to be a friend. But he honestly couldn’t decide if he thought that you’d be okay with this or not. It was a gamble, but one he hoped would pay off in some way. Tyler, predictably, nearly exploded. For a full two minutes he just screamed, squealed, clapped his hands and whistled, before finally settling down enough to actually say something.
“Congratulations, Tovar! Seriously, I’m so fucking happy for you! Are you happy? You’ve gotta be, I mean… Gen’s amazing!! How’d this happen, anyway? Oh! I bet it was around Christmas, right? I knew there was something about you following her into the elevator, I knew it!”
For the first time since he’d met the kid, Pero couldn’t help but smile at him, but he kept his eyes trained on the monitors.
“I’m happy. Just not… here.”
Tyler’s exuberance sort of fell away when he looked at the screens in front of his partner, noting the floor-number.
“Oh… shoot. Yeah, that sucks. But hey, isn’t she on her lunch-break right about now? Why don’t you go find her?”
“We agreed not to. Here.”
“What the heck did you do that for?!”
Pero sighed and pushed away from the desk, standing up and grabbing his uniform jacket, so the kid could take over.
“I’d scare everyone away from her.”
“So, to hell with them.”
“She has to work with them, Ty.”
“No, she doesn’t. If there is one thing that girl does not have to do, it’s work here.”
He looked at Ben with an unspoken question in his brow, and the kid chuckled at his confusion.
“Dude… she’s already turned down two promotions, and a dozen offers from other companies. She could start her own company or consulting firm and never be without work for a single day of her life. She absolutely doesn’t need to be here at all.”
Pero felt like he’d been struck by lightning. How had this never occurred to him? How had Ben fucking Tyler reached that conclusion within two minutes of learning about you two, when he hadn’t in five weeks? He took two steps towards the boy and pulled him into a hug, finally succeeding in shocking him into silence, muttering a quick ‘thank you’ before letting him go and all but running from the room.
When he sat down at your table in the building’s own café, you shot him a polite smile, careful to hide the depth of your affection, but to his eyes it was evident that you were wondering what the heck he was up to. The conversation took up your entire lunch-hour and a little more, but by the end of it, a new agreement had been made between you, and on the way back to your office, you took a detour passed your boss and gave your two weeks-notice. After which, Pero finally did get to bend you over that desk. And judging by the flushed cheeks he unashamedly passed on his way to tender his own resignation, where they cowered in their booths, they’d all obviously heard exactly how good he made you feel. He stepped into the middle of the elevator and turned around to face the room while the doors closed, a smug smirk spreading over his face when curious, fanciful eyes peered out of the little cubicles, gawking at him. You were his and now everyone knew it. Damn, it felt good.
—THE END—
This is the story it should’ve been all along, I’m 100% happier with this both in terms of characterization and tone, and I hope you guys enjoy it too. Again, sorry about posting this in the wrong damned season…
