and you were sure he’d noticed. he’s not stupid, after all. he’s the smartest person you know. maybe not the most intuitive—because that would be kenma—but he was the most intelligent. he’s probably picked up on it already. whenever he tries to talk to you, you give him a nonchalant or an uninterested response. you avoid him in the hallways. and you don’t wait for him after your club so you can walk home together. you’ve stopped interacting with him outside of school entirely.
oh yeah, he’s definitely noticed. currently, you’re sitting next to him in geography. the teacher’s blabbering about some sort of religious impact on economy and agriculture. you couldn’t care less. this was an elective, anyway. all you had to do was get more than seventy-percent in the final exam and your report card wouldn’t even have a dent.
“oi, chibi,” kuroo nudges you in the slightest way. you roll your eyes, pretending to read the textbook, “you know, you’re five pages behind, right?”
your cheeks heat up almost instantaneously. you flip the pages, and scribble something on your notebook as you continue paying “attention”. the volleyball captain only snickers next to you, “who are you fooling, chibi? you’re not listening to the class at all.”
“maybe if you’d shut your trap, i could focus better,” you grit your teeth. he laughs breathily, hiding it with his palm so the teacher doesn’t see, “tell me, chibi-”
“that is not my name. and stop talking, please. this is important for the exam.”
he shuts up after that. you feel bad, but you only tell yourself it’s better for the long run. if you were being truthful to yourself, it was hurting you just as much as it hurt him. you were kind of, sort of in love with him, after all. avoiding him was your first thought when you came to the conclusion. you’ve been doing so for weeks.
the day passes smoothly. and you being you, leave the school grounds as soon as your club finished its course for today. you check your wristwatch as you’re leaving the library—the volleyball team doesn’t dismiss for another half hour. you still have time.
“hello there, chibi.”
well, shit.
you stop in your tracks, turning to see kuroo tetsurō standing there by the gate of the school. you’re definitely taken aback. why is he not in the gymnasium? what about practice?
“i think you forgot that i’m the captain of the team,” he smugly says, walking towards you, “i can cancel practice whenever i want if i have a reasonable excuse.”
“you’re a shit captain, then,” you scoff, beginning to walk away. he follows you though, catching up to you as he exclaims, “oh come on, what did i do wrong?”
“what?” you ask, “you didn’t do anything.”
“then why are you ignoring me?” he questions, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. you halt too, looking up at him as you wrack your brain for some sort of excuse, “for the past month, you haven’t even spoken to me properly. we stopped hanging out after school entirely because one day, you decided to up and leave my life.”
“i was busy,” you meekly mumble, “sorry.”
“bullshit,” he laughs dryly, “do you really think i can’t tell when people are mad at me?”
you sigh in a defeated tone, “i’m not… mad at you.”
“of course you deny it,” he rolls his eyes, “you know what, screw it. be that way. i’m sorry i bothered you.”
he turns to walk away. you can’t really blame him. he’s been there whenever you needed him since middle school, and you quite literally just dropped him when you realized you were in love with him. it wasn’t his fault—he always overreacted like this or blamed himself for things that weren’t even his fault. you’d seen it happen firsthand. whenever kenma got sick, kuroo would end up blaming himself. he would say he isn’t a good friend, and would go over to kenma’s place to take care of him. it was sort of adorable to you, but also bittersweet. you bite your lip as you see his retreating figure. he’s getting farther and farther away, and you can only imagine what must be going through his head.
you let out a deep breath before running after him.
“tetsurō!” you yell. he stops walking immediately, slightly turning his head. his eyes widen when he sees you running at him in full speed, and you stop when you’re inches away from him. you pant, hands on your thighs as you try to regain your normal breath.
“i’m sorry,” you let out an exasperated sigh, “i’m sorry, okay? something happened and i got a little insecure and i avoided you because i didn’t want to share it with you. you would’ve found out eventually because you can read me like a book, and i didn’t want that to happen.”
“you avoided me because you didn’t want me to find out what’s going on in your life?” he mumbles, trying to make sense of what you said, “do you realize how dumb that sounds?”
you blush, “yes, i know how dumb that sounds.”
“are you sure you’re not mad at me? did i do something stupid or say something hurtful?” he asks. you shake your head.
he nods. an awkward sort of tension fills up the area surrounding the two of you, and he asks, “can you tell me why you were avoiding me now? i-is that why you’re talking to me again?”
“uh,” you pause, “i-i don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“i won’t push it, don’t worry,” he says, ruffling your hair. you groan, pushing his hand off as he laughs. there’s a sort of bitter feeling snipping away at your chest when you look at his face. he hides himself, though, turning away as he begins to walk again. your voice gets stuck in your throat, but you start walking too.
you’d tell him one day. you just weren’t ready yet.
