#public speaking tips
Hi everyone! Here’s a sort of masterpost on the tips I got on presenting (I put everyone’s @ with their message, unless it was sent in anonymously, but if I missed any usernames, let me know!).
I really didn’t expect so many of you to help me out, but I’m so touched. You guys have genuinely helped me through it and I think this was the first time ever that I was giving a presentation (or: talking out loud in front of more than four people) without shaking uncontrollably and stumbling over my words every other sentence. Just reading all your messages calmed me beforehand, you made me feel a thousand times more comfortable when I went in and as I was up there.
To everyone I didn’t post, I’ve sent you all a message personally to thank you, and if you sent it in anonymously and I haven’t: thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I seriously am so grateful to you.
This is a very long post, so you can keep reading below:
About your post on anxiety for online talks, you can focus on having good posture. It helps with breathing more deeply. Also, don’t be afraid to tell people your nervous and need a few seconds from time to time to gather your thoughts : it happens to many and they’ll understand. One last thing, you can have a glass of water next to you and take a sip to recenter before answering. Good luck !
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Your comment function is closed on the temporary post but my recommendation is to have physical note cards if possible with key points or at least the opening sentence. Shaking your shoulders will help destress a bit if that’s physically possible. Smiling, even if it’s forced, will also help. Silence is okay. And whatever the result, reward yourself for being brave enough to do it - every bit of experience will make the next time easier! Good luck
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Would counting help? I often find that counting by 7s helps distract me from whatever I’m feeling because I have to do the math of adding the numbers in my head. And often having a small fidget toy helps me, even if I don’t use it it’s comforting to know it’s there.
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Anonymous:
I have a similar problem and I remember my teacher telling me that instead of looking at the audience, look at the wall (if there is one) that worked for me. Hope it helps, good luck :)
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@vallendesterren:
Hi. Are there any things that always calm you when you’re nervous? This could be a song, a smell, a loved one, … Maybe it could help to be in contact with that object/person to calm you down beforehand. Positive affirmations also do wonders. Telling yourself that you’ll do great, while you try to believe it, can boost your confidence. Try to focus on the present, not what will happen a few minutes later. During the presentation you can choose one point just right above your audience to look at, this way it seems like you are looking at them but you are not. Try to focus on your content and not on the people you present it to. This is your presentation, you know what to say, they are alone listening. What also may help is imagining that you are talking to friends or yourself. As if you’re practicing. If you experience trouble speaking and it goed downhill, it’s never wrong to catch your breath. Normally they will understand that it’s stressfull. Pause for a moment, close your eyes and take a deep breath in and out. Maybe a small “you’ve got this” in your head. I believe in you. Good luck!
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Anonymous:
I really don’t know how helpful this will be but you could try clenching both of your fists for 1 min as hard as you can and make sure your shoulders are relaxed while doing it. Then very slowly unclench them. Repeat that for 3 times and that should help you take any frustration out and calm your nerves down. And think the people your presenting to are dumb- don’t mean to sound rude but if you think that your wayyy better then them and they don’t know anything of the topic your presenting it might help you. You can repeat that your smarter af before you fall asleep. I hope it goes well for you.
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Anonymous:
Hi! About your speech thing, what always helps me is to practice it beforehand (if possible) and then I usually try not to focus on the audience (e.g. by looking at a point “over their heads”) and only keep my focus on the topic. And whenever I stumble I try to just move on and not repeat myself bc I feel like repeating makes it worse? Anyway, I don’t know if that’s in any way helpful, but I wish you the best of luck, you totally got this!!
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@maltsnack:
Re: presentation.
I pretend that I’m already friends with everyone! And the presentation is really just a chat with friends about something you’re super passionate about! I literally say inside my head “these are all my class/uni/work buddies and it’s all chill.”
The down side is occasionally coming off a bit too casual, but I believe that’s far better than freezing up! And my feedback for most things is that I seemed to know my material/was confident (because I was focused on the material not the crowd) and that it was engaging (because I was just ‘casually telling my friends’ not worrying about formality).
It may not work for everyone but that’s how I get through them :) Good luck!!
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Hello dear I‘m answering in reply to your recent post.
I‘m struggling with dissociation a lot, which causes me to feel very foggy and oftentimes leaves me unable to articulate myself in any way. I have had to learn and keep learning more about ways to communicate myself. I understand your situation is different, so my tips might not be of help to you, but in case there is something useful, I want to share what I‘ve discovered so far:
* focusing on your breath and resting deeply within your body.
* Reminding yourself of your worth and your abilities. Maybe even imagining your own little scenario in that situation - something like this: You are a flower and you know your roots (you are prepared, you are grounded on something, you are versed in what you are talking about, etc.) and you may allow yourself to bloom. Your environment is there for your support, even if it might not seem that way. Those heavy droplets on your petals that make you want to sink your head? They want to nourish the ground you are living in. The heavy nasty wind ripping off some of your leaves that you have taken off so lovingly? Once helped your seeds to be blown to exactly that place you have been growing on. No matter how challenging a situation, it‘s always an invitation to grow. Which leads me to the next point.
* you are in control. You can always decline an invitation. You do not owe anyone anything- the same goes for your words. Are there minor or major consequences? Yes. Might there be judgement from other people? Perhaps. But none of that matters, if you are your closest friend and supporter. That might sound harsh, depending where you are in your life, but it can also be a huge relief. If your words are stuck, if they don’t come out or differently than intended - step to your own side and be there for yourself. If you feel ready even embrace the silence. I’ve personally been in so many awkward situations that I have created, that at some point I was able to see beauty in it.
* Ridiculus (Harry Potter charm) - for calming yourself beforehand: What is the worst thing that can happen and which part can you transform to feel lighter about it? That helps with regaining control and is a bit more specific in asking yourself what you can practically do in order to help yourself to get on track again or how to leave the situation if needed.
* imagining someone you love and you know is interested in what you have to say in the crowd. If no one comes to mind - imaging exactly what how you would feel like if you knew someone clinging to your every word, waiting patiently and with all tenderness and care for your needs to help you communicate your inner treasure (that really is what successful communication is about - helping one another to really hear what wants to be delivered by accommodating over and over again as both participants of a conversation. The same goes for a crowd. It’s kinda their job as well to help you feel comfortable so your talk can be delivered. It’s really not one sided, if you struggle to bring across what you want to say. Being conscious of that might be of use in staying confident. You cannot mess up in the sense of judgement. The communication might fail, but the responsibility of that lies equally in the addressee as it does in the addressor of a message. If someone really wants to understand something they have to compensate by enhancing their listening abilities for someone struggling to communicate. They might not be able to do that, because they have not yet learned that. If they truly care, both of you can connect through that grief that comes with not being able to express and to understand. If they do not care enough to connect with you for whatever reason, then you did what you could and your responsibility ends with that. No judgement passed, you can let yourself off the hook and move on. They can say or think whatever they want, it might never dawn on them that they missed out on their part, but you know you did your part - *whatever* that will look like.
Good luck to you ✨ I believe in you and more so I hope you believe in yourself!
Kind wishes, Shell
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Anonymous:
if it helps i always get nervous before starting a presentation no matter how many times i’ve done it or no matter how prepared I am. and i think it’s totally normal to feel that each time i suppose. what I do though is tell myself out loud that i can do it. say anything that can help you feel better. “i can do it” “i am confident” “this will work” and it helps me get into the mindset of things. another thing that is helpful is knowing that everyone else is in their own mind worrying about their presentations as well. they’re probably nervous as hell too! so little mistakes or blunders here and there probably won’t even be noticed. another great tip I heard is if you need to make eye contact but don’t feel comfortable, stare at the wall behind people because it’s still in the same direction and makes it seem like you’re looking at them. and at the end of the day any critique/comment is directed towards the subject or topic of the presentation itself and not to the presenter. so hype yourself up, get in there, and kick ass!! rooting for you. you’re going to do amazing!
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Hey! Saw your post about nerves before big presentations - I tend to focus on one person (whether they’re your friend, someone whose always calm, or even the sleepy guy in the back) and when I start off, I just focus on them. Eventually, if I’ve practiced enough, the nerves wear off and I might look around to other people but only if in confident that they’re paying attention and won’t lower my like overall confidence. Best of luck on your presentation!
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I like to do guided breathing exercises. Also find 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can feel and 1-2 you can smell/taste. Best of luck, you got this!
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Anonymous:
a cold compress on your temples (or like, a cool water bottle, splash from the bathroom tap, etc) can help trick your body into calming down, if you’re having acute anxiety. preparedness is also essential, in the presentation but also just in general. make sure you plan what you’re going to wear, have something good to eat, leave the house on time, use the bathroom before even if you don’t have to, have hydration and snacks on hand. since you have such turmoil incoming, it helps to be vigorous with normally mundane things to be certain there isn’t any extra stress in addition to it. also, focus on your breathing. not necessarily in any pattern, just remember To breathe, as calmly as possible.
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Anonymous:
Practicing in front of a smaller audience helps me, like friends, family, roommates, or coworkers. I really just have to pretend like the people aren’t there though. Like pick a point in the back of the room and focus on that
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I just practice the speech over and over when I can, so I make the words a habit going in my head, and I time it each time so I know exactly how long it should last. Then when it’s time for the actual speech, I start the timer, and when I can, I check it so I can tell if I’m rushing or going too slow (it also helps me add pauses). Then I take a big inhalation (through the nose) and continue. And suppressing the concern of “does what I’m doing look weird,” because confidence really does sell what you’re doing.
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Anonymous:
hi bb! i’m also a student so i definitely get how stressful presentations can be… when i gave my first in-person presentation since covid started i was literally shaking with nerves aha i didn’t know what to do with myself, here’s what has helped for me:
- give yourself 30mins (or more) before your presentation to prepare/focus: if it helps you, review what you’re going to talk about, or if that’s stressing you out, listen to music, or do a mindful activity
- i know everyone says it but breathe deeply and slowly, i like to do a quick 5 min meditation before i present so my breathing is regulated
-if you’re afraid of panicking/getting stuck, think of a phrase/word/image before your presentation: if at any point you feel yourself starting to panic, try to think back to it. it can be an encouraging phrase or just a word you like to “snap” you out of it (or like think of your pet if you have one)
- before you start, tell yourself that in [xy] minutes, it’ll be over: try to think of your presentation as an increment of time, i’ve found that it makes it more digestible for me
- if you do get stuck during your presentation, remember it’s not a big deal! it’s easy to feel guilty, but remember the audience is one your side
idk if any of this will help, but good luck!! :)
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Hi bee!!! I saw your post about your presentation tomorrow and i completely understand why you’re nervous!! With everything online before, it must feel even more scary :( but something that I like to do is practice the morning of in front of a mirror. Try to maintain eye contact with yourself! Another small tip is to take long pauses in your speech (count to 5). This helps me calm down a bit, slow down my pace bc I tend to talk fast, and also gives off the impression that of confidence. Another small thing I try to do is tie my hair (so I don’t continue to put it behind my ear or twirl it) and also try to wear something short sleeved so I’m not always pulling on it. Another thing I’ve picked up over the last two years is this: if you’re feeling really really nervous but still want to make it seem like you’re looking at everyone/have good eye contact, look above their head!! Kind of like their hairline? I find it helps a lot of my friends who are on the shyer side. Anyways, that was a ramble of tips and idk if any of those will help you but I hope they do. You’re my role model so I have no doubt that your presentation is going to be amazing (and even if you aren’t happy with it, I’ll still be proud <3) good luck, bee. If anyone can do it, it’s you
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Anonymous:
hi! i also used to get really nervous about presentations, and the whole persona thing really helped me… i basically pretended i was a fictional character from a book i like (specifically a guy who was really good at public speaking ), i even dressed in a way that kiiinda resembled him (though those were also just nice clothes that made me feel more confident). it sounds a little silly but it helped :‘D
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The stutter when you get overwhelmed thing? I do that too. Honestly I think my brain just moves faster than my mouth can follow sometimes. I usually stop, take a breath, maybe two, smile and smh at whoever it is I’m speaking to and then continue. All humans make mistakes and no one is perfect, they’ll understand.
