#reblog from the golden opportunity

I’m sorry, Dad. Sorry that I’ve been doing such a damn good job of being you.

I’ve gotten your fat-ass body in shape, grown out your beard, gotten this sexy new nipple piercing. I’ve made you look fucking hot, but that’s no surprise. I always knew you would be sexy as fuck if you would just learn to fucking take care of yourself.

The best thing, though? People have really noticed that you’ve stopped being such an asshole ever since I took over your body. They know that something about you has changed, but they have no idea that it’s me inside controlling your body like a puppet. All they know is that they like this new version of you. And I like it, too.

So, I’m sorry, Dad. Sorry that your own son had to be the one to help you become a better man.