anyone have any reddie au’s they want headcanoned? inbox is open for these reddie hours

reddie as elementary school teachers hc dump

• Richie and Eddie both teach the same grade, Richie’s class is one half of the students, Eddie’s class is the other
• Eddie thinks Richie doesn’t take things serious enough because he’s always goofing off with his kids, but they love him and he’s actually really good, Eddie realizes 
• Like he’ll see Richie playing kickball and shit with his class on the playground and his kids think his shitty voices are hilarious 
• And Eddie is like …. hmm 
• And Richie loves how passionate Eddie is about everything … he usually goes out of his way to schedule ‘accidental’ run-ins with Eddie in the teacher’s lounge and cafeteria just so he has an excuse to talk to him 
• And they usually wind up sitting by each other during staff meetings and shit because they’re both snarky af and can whisper shit to each other 
• Richie always wears dorky-patterned button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled up and you better bet that Eddie’s checking out those forearms like
• Myra is another teacher at the school and the rest of the staff acts like Eddie and Myra are the Jim and Pam of the school but Eddie is like ((leave me ALONE)) 
• Richie finds out from other teachers that Eddie and Myra are supposedly a thing so he gets all ): 
• But then Eddie complains about all of it to him later and he’s all (: again 
• One time Eddie is making photocopies in the teeny copy station in the teacher’s lounge and Richie needs to reach something on the shelf above it so he just leans right against Eddie like ‘sorry lol’ and Eddie can’t
  b r e a t h e 
• One time Richie invites Eddie over one night to “work on lesson plans” but then when Eddie comes over it’s just Richie sitting at the dinner table with like candles and wine and shit like [: 
• Their classes have friendly rivalries and will often go against each other in dodgeball and kickball and stuff 
• During one of the games Eddie is casually like, “if my kids win, you owe me dinner” and Richie is like “well if mine win, you owe me” and that’s how they go on their first date 

I Don’t Want to Fuck Your Mom, I Want to Fuck You!

Requested by my bestie @thescarrletwitch ily for this

Warnings: Innuendoes, Implied Content, Swearing

Richie and Eddie finally realizing their feelings for each other would look like…

• Let’s be completely honest with ourselves… Richie and Eddie are NOT getting together on their own.
• There have never been two more stubborn people.
• They are also relatively stupid? They think that their bickering is normal bestie behavior and totally not radiating massive homosexual energy.
• All the Losers know it. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see it. But even with glasses Richie Tozier was blind. Relatively speaking.
• The heat on Richie’s cheeks when he was squished between Eddie and the corner of the couch during movie nights.
• Eddie being quiet most hours until Richie showed up.
• They were tired of their bickering. Well, it wasn’t going to end when they got together but at least they’d be self-aware.
• “Hey, Eddie? Saw you ogling at that math teacher.”
• “Yeah. What about it, dipshit?”
• “Oh, nothing. Didn’t think you’d lust after someone with more hair on their upper lip than you.”
• It was tiring.
• So the Losers developed a plan. Well… Bill developed a plan, Stan took credit for it, Beverely jumped at it, Mike only sighed.
• The plan consisted of a group hangout which would result in everyone dropping out last minute. Richie and Eddie would never ask each other to hang out but if everyone cancelled they wouldn’t mind. It was the perfect plan. Plain, simple, effective.
• So that Friday the Losers planned a movie night at Richie’s house. Friday the 13th- not the most romantic movie but Richie rejected any and all rom-coms and Eddie would stick out his tongue.
• Eddie arrived at Richie’s house in nothing but pajamas and a blanket with the idea that he was in for a fun movie night.
• Boy was he wrong.
• Phone calls came in minutes later from all the other Losers listing various illegitimate reasons for not being able to show up.
• “What a bunch of blow-offs.” was how Richie hung up the phone.
• “You have a problem hanging out with me, asshole?”
• They don’t know what to do at first because surprisingly enough they’ve rarely been alone together and the strained silence is strange.
• But then again it’s Richie so that doesn’t last long.
• “Does this make us the bitches of the group?”
• The two decide to play the movie and sit as FAR away from each other as possible. Eddie insists on having the light on like the scared little shit he is and Richie will use the excuse that he needs to use the bathroom and switches off the light to hear him shriek.
• “Richie, you piece of shit!”
• ***Cue gay play wrestling.
• (Like I said there’s no way these two are getting together normally. All sexual tension is caused and resolved with anger)
• Eddie is on top. I said what I said.
• “That’s right, asshole. I’m beating you.”
• “That’s cause I’m letting you!”
• Richie is PINNED and flustered as tortured screams play in the background because what better place to get horny.
• And then Eddie bitch slaps him.
• “Did you just bitch slap me?”
• Eddie is… shocked with himself.
• He scrambled off Richie quickly yet again… like the scared little shit he is.
• But Richie is horny and frustrated so that’s not going to end well.
• “What happened, big guy? I was just about to whoop your ass.”
• “Richie, you fucking idiot. I was beating you.”
• “Not as hard as your mom was last night.”
• That was the push over the edge for Eddie.
• The two were face to face now, closer than they’d ever been before and Richie had a cocky smirk on his face and his glasses were crooked- the obvious face of enjoyment at Eddie’s frustration.
• “What is your obsession with fucking my mom?”
• And this was when things changed. Richie was so ready to respond with a sarcastic comment but Eddie’s face was scrunched and his freckles seemed to move and for once Richie didn’t have words to say but then again he always felt the need to speak so this time his own tongue sold him out.
• “I don’t want to fuck your mom. I want to fuck you!”
• ***stunned silence***
• “What?”
• But Richie was already into deep so he figured why not keep digging and so he grabbed Eddie’s shirt lining and finally meeting his lips which had spewed so many “fuck you’s” disguised as “i love you”.
• The rest of the night was spent as a date night full of flushed face, makeout sessions and as expected… bickering.
• The Losers were incredibly proud of their plan.

This is my first time writing for the IT fandom so no taglists <3 but I’ll tag @fives-cup-of-coffee becasue she wanted to know