R&J Clown Takes Round ♾ —Part 7

Featuring the ever-classic “R&J is/is not a romance/tragedy/comedy!!!” and Juliet being a very calm character compared to Romeo the drama queen. So calm.

‘R&J Is A Tragedy, Not A Romance!!!’

This is an excerpt from an R&J high school AU YA novel, by the way, for context (When You Were Mine).

I don’t know which is funnier, the narrator 1) thinking that drama and romance are the exact opposite of each other (shh, don’t mention Titanic) or 2) the narrator believing that the deaths were because of R&J’s love or 3) the narrator assuming that the families would still be feuding in this AU in which R&J live and are together. Or that the worst that would happen in this AU where the families still hate each other but know R&J are a thing is really awkward birthdays and holidays. ‍♀️

In-canon, the Friar’s plan has always been for Romeo to lie low in Mantua, have his friends beg the Prince for clemency, and then when it is granted, to “blazon forth” the news of R&J’s marriage. The plan changed slightly when Juliet was forced to marry Paris, but regardless of R&J being together in Mantua or not, the plan to clear Romeo’s name and return to Verona would not be altered in the slightest. If everything went well and R&J turned up in Verona with news of their marriage, the Montagues and Capulets could still disown them, sure, or else work long and hard to annul the marriage. R&J could be trapped in the middle of that mess and end tragically anyway. But the families could also just accept the marriage as fait accompli and reconcile. It just depends.

“This isn’t even the greatest love story Shakespeare ever wrote! No, the greatest love story Shakespeare ever wrote that is not R&J is…well. Er. Shit. Well, you know what I mean! It’s obvious. So obvious I’m not even going say it so my BS can be called out.”

Where to begin with this mess?

So no, R&J is not a romance in the modern genre sense of the term. What we call the romance genre now is very different than the love stories/romances of yore, with or without happy endings. Again, genre are artificial classifications that change throughout the years. Also, as reply OP has pointed out, R&J is not a novel.

That said, comedies of the era, while commonly ending happily with a wedding, was not always the case. Comedy was often employed more broadly to mean works set in real-life social conditions, as well as social and political satire. There was a subgenre of comedies called city comedies, popular during the Jacobean era, following city or mercantile characters in London. A lot of those city comedies dealt with themes of crime, poverty, and corruption—dark comedies, in short. Shakespeare dabbled a bit in this genre, but it definitely wasn’t his strong suit—both his comedy, tragic, and romantic visions were mytho-cosmopolitan, not a purely London or local one.

With regards to Romeo and Juliet, it falls under tragedy in every way by the era’s standards and by Shakespeare’s. It ends with great misfortune/loss/death on all sides, there is no B comic subplot, it focuses on universal psychological states and character study/clashes rather than strictly on social and political satire, and it follows the Shakespearean conception/deviation of Greek tragedy: It is entirely preventable from the outside, not at all from the inside.

By modern standards, though, R&J’s intense focus on the protagonists’ love relationship would slide it into romance. YA romance, to be specific, or a YA novel in verse. Maybe Adult Romantic Suspense just on the sophisticated level of writing alone. Let’s not pretend most teens are up to reading metered verse.

Romeo the Diva

Romeo Montague. Such a drama queen. Irrational, rash, emotional. Whereas Juliet is just so level-headed, sensible, down to earth.

And so, so calm.

Like when she gets angry at the Nurse when she doesn’t tell her what Romeo said. Or when she says that Romeo being exiled is even worse than her entire family andherselfand Romeo dead. Or when she curses the Nurse’s soul to hell when she suggests she marry Paris and forget Romeo. Or when she threatens to kill herself if the Friar doesn’t come up with a solution to her getting married to Paris ASAP. Or when she is afraid of the potion not working and her marrying Paris, so she puts her dagger on the side of her bed just in case.

Sorational.

Like when she finds out about Romeo killing Tybalt, condemns him for it, and then condemns the Nurse for condemning Romeo for it. Or when she refuses to let Romeo swear by the moon, because *tsk* that moon be a fickle bitch, y’know? Or when she imagines herself being buried alive or else going mad and playing with her dead ancestor’s bones and—holy shit, is that Tybalt come back as a ghost to haunt me??!! Go away, coz!!!

Sodown-to-earth.

Like when she likens Romeo to a falcon or a little bird she’d like to tie a little silk thread and play with as she pleases. Or when she likens her love for him as deep and wide as the sea. Or when she calls on an anthropomorphized night to take him and cut his face into little stars when she orgasms on his dick. Or when she tells Romeo it’s totally not the lark that he heard, but the nightingale and that growing light??? in the horizon???? is totally the reflection of the moon’s light, promise.

Or when she straight-up calls Romeo her own personal god.

Romeo: What shall I swear by?

Juliet: Do not swear at all.

Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,

Which is the god of my idolatry

And I’ll believe thee.

Socalm. Why can’t Romeo just be more chill like Juliet????

I have no clue why these clowns insist on making these personality distinctions between Romeo and Juliet that are not supported by canon and even blatantly contradict it. As I have said before and will say again, Romeo and Juliet are two sides of the same fucking coin, and to disparage one is to disparage the other. Yes, Juliet makes sure she gets the ring on her finger before accepting anything from Romeo (as she should). Yes, despite her emotional flailing she eventually pulls through and rallies herself. Yes, she is quick-witted and acts with great courage. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t also fall apart and isn’t a rash, dramatic queen at points.

When you finish reading a Romeo and Juliet x Wuthering Heights YA sci-fi crossover with Juliet/Heathcliff endgame

Characters who people think are immature emo whiners but are actually just normal people realistically struggling through harrowing dramatic shit in their narrative and literally every other character points out their being emo is OOC for them and something is clearly wrong:

Hamlet Romeo