Summary: You weren’t supposed to be in this mess. Hunting wasn’t your thing; you much preferred the safety of research sitting behind a computer screen.
Now as you looked across the space at your best friends, it was everything you could do not to give up.
You had to hold on, though. For them.
For him.
Triggers: torture, swearing, sexual abuse
A/N: I do not own any pics or gifs. HUGE TW. Please heed the warning!
“No! Y/N!” he screamed as he fought as hard as he could against his restraints. His heart was shattering; he couldn’t lose you.
He cursed himself for being such an idiot–for wasting so much time. He should have figured out how he felt long ago. He had been afraid to even think about it; he was sure that if he got too close he would lose you.
Now he was terrified that he wouldn’t even have the chance to get close.
Suddenly, his bindings gave way. Whipping his head around, he saw Castiel moving to his brother’s ropes and making them disappear with a flash.
He wasted no time with explanations. He had to get to you.
He rushed forward on wobbly legs, skidding on his knees to kneel beside your limp form. Dean and Cas weren’t far behind, Dean removing his jacket and laying it over your naked body that was now pulled to Sam’s lap.
“Cas, can you help her?” Sam pleaded, brushing your hair away from your eyes. You were still unconscious, but he could tell that you were at least breathing.
Cas furrowed his brow and stepped forward, kneeling to place two fingers to your forehead. Sam watched as the cuts littering your body closed, leaving just dried blood behind.
“Cas?” Sam asked expectantly when you didn’t wake up.
“I’ve done what I can, Sam. Her brain is trying to protect her by keeping her unconscious. Physically, though, she is healed.” Cas shared a look with Dean that Sam recognized as pity. He ignored it and placed a hand on your cheek, stroking it with his thumb.
“Come on, baby,” he whispered. “Come back to me.”
“Sam! We’ve got company,” Dean said, taking the angel blade Cas offered him.
Sam kissed your forehead before carrying you to the side of the warehouse, out of the way of the fray that was about to happen.
Dean tossed a second angel blade to Sam, who caught it with ease and ran straight for the demons who had returned. He was seeing red. It was an anger like he’d never felt before. He charged at Agares barely registering the attacks the demon made with his own blade. The combat was short, the adrenaline, Sam’s rage, and the small meat suit giving him the upper hand. He saw the flashing orange light and smiled, only wishing he’d been able to make the demon suffer more. He didn’t have time for that, though. He needed to get back to you.
Sam wiped his brow and jogged over to where you still lay, glad that Cas and Dean took care of Malphas and were beginning to drag his and the other demon’s bodies out of the warehouse.
He sat again, pulling your limp body onto his lap. He stroked your head, a tear dripping from his chin onto your forehead.
“Never, ever again, baby,” Sam whispered. “I will always protect you, I promise. Just come back to me.”
You
Your mind became aware and you laid with your eyes closed, trying to take in what was around you without looking, in case you were still trapped in your living nightmare.
The first thing you noticed was the smell. There was no longer the metal smell of blood filling your nose. Instead it was something familiar; something faint that you couldn’t yet place.
Next you felt that you were no longer on the concrete floor of the warehouse, but on a soft bed with covers gathered at your hips.
You also felt something extremely surprising–something that had you wondering if you were even still alive–the absence of pain.
Finally, you realized you no longer heard the harshly whispered arguing of the Winchesters. In fact, all you could hear was the sound of light breathing that you thought must be someone sleeping nearby.
Taking a deep breath, you slowly opened your eyes. You squinted them, blinking in the light around the room even though it was dull. You recognized it immediately, and sighed in relief. You were home.
You looked to your left to see Sam, sitting next to the bed, slumped over in his chair and resting his head on the bed. You knew then what the faint smell was. It was him. Just a smell that was heavenly and just…Sam. He slept soundly, and you decided to wait a minute before waking him.
You tried to remember what had last happened before you lost consciousness. You shuddered at the memory of your assault, shoving that in another part of your mind for the time being. You remembered flashes of Sam’s face and comforting words. As it came back to you, you were more and more sure you had dreamt the interaction. It was just too good to be true.
You pulled the blanket off the bottom half of your body, inspecting yourself up and down and finding no open wounds or even scars.
Cas, you thought to yourself, figuring the angel must have healed you. You sent him a quick prayer of thanks.
You bit your lip, looking at Sam and wondering if you should disturb him. Watching him sleep, you could pretend that what you dreamed was true. You could carry on the fantasy that Sam felt the same way about you that you had felt for him for so long.
You shook your head. It was no longer the time to be hesitant. You needed to tell Sam how you felt, even if it meant rejection. You had learned all to well that life is short, and you needed to really live while you still could.
You placed a hand on his arm gently, giving him a little nudge. “Sam,” you said softly.
Sam shot up, alarmed and looking around the room for danger.
“Whoa, it’s okay, it’s me,” you said gently, keeping a hand on his arm. His eyes found yours and his face relaxed. A smile spread wide on his lips and your heart sped up.
“Listen, Sam, there’s something I need to–”
You were cut off by his lips meeting yours. You froze in shock for a moment before having the best realization of your life.
It wasn’t a dream.
Sam Winchester loved you.
You returned the kiss in full after that, relishing the feeling of his lips against yours for the first time.
When you pulled apart he cupped your face in his hands, his eyes dancing between yours.
“Are you okay? Does anything hurt?” he asked quietly.
“Not in my body,” you said, your eyes shifting away for a moment. You knew Sam understood you meant that your mental health would be messed up for a while.
“I know,” he said. He kissed you softly on the lips, cheeks, and forehead. You let your eyes flutter closed, enjoying the distraction from the swirling thoughts in your head. “Y/N…I meant what I said. I love you. I love you so much.”
You smiled. “I love you, too.”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he said, bringing one hand down to hold yours while the other ran angrily through his hair. “It was there. Youwere there, all along. But I was an idiot.”
“Don’t say that–”
“Please, let me finish,” he said gently, giving your hand a squeeze. You nodded for him to continue.
“Seeing you up there like that…seeing what those thingsdid to you…it was almost more than I could take. Just ask Dean,” he said, glancing over your shoulder toward the door. You turned to see Dean standing there, his arms crossed over his chest.
“It’s true. I’ve never seen him like that. And I’ve been through an apocalypse with him,” Dean said with a half smile.
“What I’m trying to say is that I’m done wasting time,” Sam continued. “I love you, and I am all yours if you’ll have me.”
You didn’t know your heart could feel so full. You smiled the biggest you ever had, and Sam excitedly swept you up in his arms, carrying you bridal-style toward the door. You laughed, unable to contain your joy any longer. When you reached the door, Dean didn’t move. Sam set you down so you were standing, your legs a little wobbly.
Sam slipped an arm around your waist for support–a subtle gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by you.
Dean stood up straight, his eyes looking you up and down. He came a little closer, placing one hand on your cheek and leaning down to your eye level.
“You okay?” he asked simply.
“I’m okay,” you said. You both knew that wasn’t entirely true, but for the moment, you were good. And your best friend needed to know that.
He smiled that same half-smile, backing up and gesturing for Sam to continue. You laughed again as he swept you off your feet, quite literally. Sam brought you through the door, and you smiled. You knew it would take a long time to get your head right, but for now–and hopefully forever–you’d have Sam there along the journey, and that was all you needed.
Summary: You weren’t supposed to be in this mess. Hunting wasn’t your thing; you much preferred the safety of research sitting behind a computer screen.
Now as you looked across the space at your best friends, it was everything you could do not to give up.
You had to hold on, though. For them.
For him.
Triggers: torture, swearing, sexual abuse
A/N: I do not own any pics or gifs. HUGE TW. Please heed the warning!
Sam turned his head, what little contents he had in his stomach spilling out on the floor next to him. He spit to rid his mouth of the bile. Nothing could have prepared him for what he just saw, and by the queasy look on Dean’s face he wasn’t the only one.
When he somehow managed to regain his composure, he called out to you. You didn’t acknowledge him, and it seemed you were in a state of shock.
“I’m fucking telling them, Dean,” Sam said, tears running down his cheeks. “This has to stop!”
“I am with you, Sam, I really am,” Dean replied, his jaw set tightly.
“But?” Sam said, knowing there was more.
“But we said we’d respect her wishes.”
“I didn’t say a fucking thing!” Sam yelled. “Look at her, Dean!” Dean didn’t, and Sam knew why.
Red was blooming all over your skin, the cuts from earlier bleeding freshly. You had new bruises where fingers had dug into your skin, and bite marks all over your neck, chest, and abdomen. Sam kept his eyes from staying lower for too long, the sight of blood trickling down your thighs too much for him to bear.
“Y/N, sweetheart, please!” he yelled suddenly. It was like he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed something from you, anything, to know you were still in there. “Baby, I need you to stay with me! Please, please look at me!”
“Y/N, stay with us baby girl,” Dean added, knowing there was little else he could do. “You’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna makeit okay,” he said, almost as if reassuring himself.
Your eyes blinked slowly, and Sam felt a little flutter of hope that maybe something was getting through.
“That’s it, baby, I know you can hear me,” Sam said, trying to coax you to look at him. “Sweetheart come on, I need you to look at me.”
Dean continued encouraging you as well, but Sam tuned him out. He wanted more than anything to get through to you. He wanted you to feel his love and desperation from across the room–to break through whatever it was you were feeling in that horrible moment.
Your eyes shifted around the room, and Sam kept it up, not giving up on you any time soon.
You
A voice was trying to break through your numbness. Every time you started to let the wall down, though, the physical and emotional pain came rushing in, and it was too hard to deal.
“Baby, please,” you heard. They were the only two words that didn’t sound muffled and far away. The words were filled with pain, the voice that said them cracking and shaky. Your eyes fluttered around the room, as if you couldn’t make them understand where the voice was coming from.
Surely it was some part of your psyche telling you that the voice you heard was Sam’s. You knew Sam cared about you, of course. But he’d never called you “baby.”
“Y/N, please…look at me. I need you.”
You laughed at yourself internally. Sam Winchester needed you? Right. He was the baddest hunter around. He had literally been to Hell and back–fought the Devil himself. What would he need with some loser bookworm like you?
“Baby, please don’t leave me. I love you.”
Love? That word made you pause. It was everything you wanted to hear from Sam for a long time. But now you knew you were dreaming it. Sam could never want a used up, bloody, whimpering mess like you.
Despite the things your mind was telling you, you finally found the younger Winchester’s eyes, unable to keep yourself from hoping. Whether he was real or a hallucination, you weren’t sure. But in that moment, you didn’t care anymore.
“That’s it, sweetheart, keep your eyes on me,” Sam said. You felt yourself smile, a warm feeling spreading through you as your eyes stared into his.
Your eyelids started feeling heavy, and you could feel that the stress on your body and the blood loss was too much.
“Y/N, please, keep your eyes open! I love you, Y/N!”
Summary: You weren’t supposed to be in this mess. Hunting wasn’t your thing; you much preferred the safety of research sitting behind a computer screen.
Now as you looked across the space at your best friends, it was everything you could do not to give up.
You had to hold on, though. For them.
For him.
Triggers: torture, swearing, sexual abuse
A/N: I do not own any pics or gifs. HUGE TW. Please heed the warning!
“You’ve tried praying to Cas, right? Maybe he can’t hear me for some reason.”
“Yeah, man, I’ve tried. Maybe this place is warded.”
“Well, there’s gotta be some way around that. We just gotta think.”
You could hear the brothers talking before reality came screaming back to you. Your entire body was on fire, and you couldn’t even focus to know which part hurt the worst.
You could feel yourself slipping back into unconsciousness, and thought maybe you had for a little bit before water hit you square in the face, turning your veins to ice.
“Rise and shine, honey,” the skinny demon said with a sneer. You could hear Sam and Dean struggling with their bindings behind him again, but ignored it.
With what little strength you had, you spit the mixture of freezing water and blood that had pooled in your mouth into the demon’s face.
He chuckled, licking his lips like he enjoyed it. “Well aren’t we the stubborn one.” He wiped a hand down his face, turning to Sam and Dean. “You boys sure you don’t want to just end this now?”
You could see on their faces that their resolve was slipping.
“Fuck. You.” you said, drawing his attention back to you.
“Hear that, Agares?” the skinny one said. “Sounds like the bitch is ready for more.”
The demon in the suit–Agares, apparently–sniggered and licked his lips. “You go ahead, Malphas. I’m gonna think about what I want to do to that pretty little face.”
“Wow,” you said hoarsely. “You guys couldn’t have come up with some modern names now that you’re topside? Why don’t you just sprout some feathers and hop on a crocodile and be on your way?”
Both demon’s eyes flashed black. “Hmm. Someone’s been reading up on their demonology,” Malphas said.
“What can I say? I think it’s good to know your enemies.” Your bravado was fading rather quickly, though, especially when you saw Agares wheeling a small metal table with sharp instruments into the room.
“I swear, if you hurt her again…” Sam began threateningly. You were a little surprised to see his attitude had changed so much from before.
“What, you’ll glare us to death?” Agares said as he stopped the table next to you.
Sam practically snarled, but didn’t have a comeback. You gave him what you could of a sympathetic smile.
“Get her down,” Malphas said. You shouldn’t have, but you had a small thrill of hope that they were letting you go. Agares did as he said and you fell to the floor in a heap, your legs unable to support you.
“Y/N? Y/N! Are you okay?” Dean asked, panicked. You lifted your head slowly, nodding. It was short lived, however, as Malphas pulled you up by your hair, your scalp and legs screaming in protest as you brought yourself up to stand.
“Shut them up!” Malphas yelled. Agares obliged, covering both men’s mouths with duct tape. Their muffled protests rang out, and you were sure they were saying a slew of profanities even if you couldn’t make them out.
“You really wanna go through with this, honey?” Malphas asked, his rancid breath hitting your nostrils as he came in close. “One word, and I know these boys will tell me what I want to know.”
You lifted your chin in defiance. “Never.”
“Have it your way.” He reached up, grabbing a fistful of your shirt and ripping it away from your body. The fabric tore down the middle, leaving you with scraps of shirt hanging from your arms. You tried to fight back and he slapped you hard across the face. Stunned, you stumbled back until you lost your footing and fell to the floor, smacking your head on the cold concrete. Before you could regain your senses, he was straddling you, his knees on either side of your body. You went to push him away but your arms were forced roughly back against the floor, the other demon pinning you down.
Sam and Dean continued to shout and struggle, but you knew it was useless. You pleaded in your head with them to close their eyes, to keep themselves from witnessing what was about to happen.
You kept fighting against the demons, but were unable to move much against their strength. You could feel the cuts on your body opening again, the dried blood giving way to warm, fresh blood trickling down.
The demons ripped at every piece of clothing on your body until you were bare on the floor, your whole body shivering from the cold and downright fear you were feeling.
“Stop, please,” you begged.
“You know what you have to do for that, honey,” Malphas responded. You squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t give in. The world depended on it.
You felt your face jerk with a hand squeezing your jaw. “Open your fucking eyes!”
You did as told even though everything in you said not to. With Agares holding your upper half down, Malphas was free to paw at your breasts painfully, bringing his mouth down to bite hard everywhere, including your nipples. You screamed out in pain, unable to keep yourself quiet any longer. This only seemed to spur him on, his hands raking down your body until he shoved three fingers into your unprepared opening.
You shouted again, and nothing could prepare you for the feeling of Malphas shoving himself inside you. He raked in and out of you for several minutes until he was spent, and you laid on the floor limply. The tears cascaded down your face and you watched helplessly as the demon pulled his pants up while the other chained your wrist to a nearby pipe. They said something to the brothers as they left, but you couldn’t hear them. You were lost in your own head, trying not to feel the reality of what just happened to you.
Your tears stopped, and you stared blankly at the wall opposite you. The demons must have removed the tape from Sam and Dean’s mouths. You could hear them speaking to you but tuned it out just like everything else.
Summary: You weren’t supposed to be in this mess. Hunting wasn’t your thing; you much preferred the safety of research sitting behind a computer screen.
Now as you looked across the space at your best friends, it was everything you could do not to give up.
You had to hold on, though. For them.
For him.
Triggers: torture, swearing, possible sexual abuse
Your arms felt like they were slowly being ripped from their sockets. Your shoulders burned, and your head throbbed from where you were knocked unconscious.
You did your best not to let the pain show, though. You knew every whimper and every teardrop would bring the boys closer to giving up the information the demons wanted, and you couldn’t let them. Not for you.
You did your best to use your toes to take some of the pressure off your arms, but they were barely touching the floor, and it was awkward when your body was moving with the swaying of the hook.
Sam and Dean had hardly stopped watching you. You weren’t sure how long it had been since the demons left, but it had to have been at least an hour. You weren’t sure how much longer you could take Dean staring at you with his jaw ticking, his eyes furious.
At least that was better than Sam. Sam alternated between fury, pity, and that puppy dog look that was pleading with you to let him give in.
You cast your eyes down. You couldn’t look at him. You knew it was only going to get worse, too.
You heard the door open at the other end of the warehouse and kept your eyes down as the demons approached. You pleaded with the boys in your head to wipe the expressions from their faces. The demons couldn’t know that what they did to you had any effect on them.
“Well, boys, we ready to have a little fun?”
Two hours later the demons had left after the one in the suit got a call on his cell. You were clinging to consciousness as you hung from the meat hook.
Your skin had been slashed in more places than you could count.
The first cut seared white-hot, but you had kept your face stoic as the skinny demon watched the crimson blood run down your leg.
Forty more cuts and your jaw was aching from how much you were gritting your teeth.
After you’d lost count, you couldn’t keep quiet. The pain was unbelievable. Despite that, though, you’d at least managed to keep your moans low and guttural, hoping that it sounded more intimidating than high-pitched screams.
The boys had fought against their restraints until their wrists and ankles were raw, you were sure. The ropes must have been spelled, because there was no way normal ones would be able to hold back the Winchesters’ rage.
Blood loss and sheer exhaustion hit you the second the demons were out the door. You hung there limply, your head resting on your chest.
“Y/N? Sweetheart?” you heard. Dean’s voice caused you to squeeze your eyelids tight before opening them, your mind fighting to stay awake.
You lifted your eyes to your best friend, unable to do much else.
“There you are,” he said encouragingly. “Keep those eyes open for me, okay?” You blinked, a little taken aback at the sweet tone the rugged hunter had taken with you. You shouldn’t have been surprised, though. You knew Dean was a teddy bear under his rough exterior.
Your eyes shifted to Sam, who had a blank look on his face, his eyes staring past you. Your heart ached a little.
He doesn’t think I’m strong enough.
You probably weren’t, you knew. But you had hoped that Sam would have had more faith in you. His eyes met yours briefly before you felt yourself slip into the black.
Sam
Fuck!
Sam watched as your eyes closed as soon as his met them, and he knew you’d passed out. He couldn’t stand seeing you like this. It was tearing him apart.
As much as he tried to steel himself and shut off his emotions, he couldn’t. You were there, suffering for the Winchesters. For him.
He reminded himself that you were also doing it for the sake of the world.
“Sam, c’mon, you have to help keep her awake!” Dean said angrily. Sam didn’t blame him. It probably looked like he didn’t care about you.
“I…I can’t, man. I can’t look at her like this,” Sam replied, shifting his eyes to the floor.
“You think this is a party for me?” Dean yelled. “She is doing this so that the world doesn’t end, again. She deserves to live to see it. So get your head out of your ass and start thinking of a way out of here!”
Dean was right, of course. Sam knew you needed him. He just felt so helpless. Not only that, he felt like he’d failed you.
But that didn’t matter. What mattered was keeping you awake as much as possible–keeping you alive.
Because if you died…he shuddered. He couldn’t even imagine living without you.
“I’m sorry. I’ll do what I can.” He did his best to keep his voice from shaking, but he knew he wasn’t successful.
Sam could feel his brother’s eyes on him. He could almost hear the wheels turning in Dean’s head.
Dean was realizing the same thing as Sam in that moment.
“She…she’s gonna be okay, Sammy. She will. Y/N is a fighter,” he said, his voice soft. Sam finally looked at his brother and saw pity and understanding in his eyes. Dean got what Sam had known deep down for a long time.
He couldn’t imagine a world without you because you werehis world.
Summary: You weren’t supposed to be in this mess. Hunting wasn’t your thing; you much preferred the safety of research sitting behind a computer screen.
Now as you looked across the space at your best friends, it was everything you could do not to give up.
You had to hold on, though. For them.
For him.
Triggers: torture, swearing, possible sexual abuse
Sam woke to the sound of his brother’s voice accompanied by two he didn’t recognize. He kept his eyes closed and his head lolling to the side, trying to decipher where he was before he alerted anyone to the fact he was awake.
He could feel throbbing at the back of his head, likely where someone had hit him to knock him unconscious. He didn’t think he had a concussion. He was pretty familiar with how those felt, and it definitely wasn’t that bad.
He noticed next the light burning of his arms as they stretched around the chair he was in, and his hands were tied behind him with what felt like thick rope.
He could hear his brother babbling on, no doubt trying to buy some time until Sam became conscious again. It was a last ditch effort, but they’d gotten out of worse with less.
“So, what, you think you’re gonna be the demons to finally kill the big, bad, Winchesters?” Dean asked. Sam opened his eyes slowly, blinking against the harsh light. He saw the look of relief in his brother’s eyes before he looked back at the demon for its answer. They were in the warehouse Sam and Dean had driven to. It looked like some kind of old meat warehouse. There large metal hooks hanging all around, like the kind you’d hang a slab of meat from after butchering an animal.
“Oh, we clocked you the second that fucking Impala rolled into town,” the shorter of the two said. He had dark hair that was cut short and spiked up in the front. He was wearing a full suit that looked pretty expensive. The poor sap he was riding must’ve been an executive of some kind.
“Well, who wouldn’t notice my baby?” Dean asked cockily.
“Worked out well for you,” the other demon said with a sneer. He was rail-thin with yellow teeth and a general look of filth. The meat suit could have been a drug addict or something.
Didn’t mean he deserved to be ridden by an evil motherfucker.
“Why don’t you just do whatever it is you brought us here to do,” Sam spoke up finally. The demons’ eyes snapped to him, the pupils and whites instantly turning black.
“Eager to die, are we Sam?” the suited one asked.
“Yeah, like some low-level pencil-pushers are gonna be the ones to gank us,” Dean said, rolling his eyes. That earned him a backhand from the stick-man, Dean’s head turning to the side as he spit out some blood.
Anger flared in Sam and he struggled uselessly against the ropes.
“Oh, calm down, Sammy,” stick-man said. Sam’s lip curled at the demon’s use of his nickname. “You boys have something we need. And until we get it, things are going to be…unpleasant.”
“God, you’d think demons would get more creative. It’s always the same story, isn’t it, Sammy?” Dean said. Sam could tell the demon was going to hit Dean again, so he spoke up.
“What? What do you want?” he asked, exasperated.
“See, we’ve been having a hell of a lot of trouble with hunters lately,” suit said. “We know your network is extensive. Hand the other hunters’ info over, and you’re free to go.”
“Yeah, not gonna happen,” Sam said defiantly. Stick-man nodded, pursing his lips.
“I thought you might say something like that,” he said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled something out, holding it in his fist. Sam saw a glint of metal around one of the demon’s fingers, almost like he was wearing a ring.
“Pulled this off you after we jumped you,” he said, opening his hand. The red plastic tag jingled next to a silver key, both of them hanging from the key ring around his middle finger.
Sam felt his heart drop into his stomach. He recognized the red plastic immediately.
It was the key to the motel room. The motel room where he and Dean had left you to do research.
His body jolted into action immediately, struggling against his restraints with no results. He could hear his brother doing the same next to him.
“I swear to God if you fuckingtouch her,” he began. He was cut off by a punch to his gut, the wind effectively knocked out of him. While he struggled to regain his breath, he heard a door somewhere behind him squeal open.
“Too late, Sammy,” the demon replied, the black draining from his eyes as they focused on something behind Sam’s back.
Sam heard the sound of something dragging on the floor. The sound grew louder until he saw what it was in his peripheral vision. Dean let out a slew of obscenities while Sam grit his teeth, unable to speak through the anger and fear he was feeling.
A third demon held you under the arms, dragging your unconscious body across the floor. Your hands were chained in front of you, and a trickle of blood ran down your forehead.
Suit grabbed one of the hooks, watching as the new demon lifted your arms up, slipping the hook under your chains so you hung by your arms. The hook was just long enough that your toes grazed the floor. Sam watched helplessly as your head lolled to the side, your body swinging lightly in its new position.
“Let her go,” he snarled.
The demons laughed. “Give us the info,” Suit said.
Sam could already feel his resolve slipping. He didn’t want to see you hurt. He wanted you as far from here as possible.
“They won’t,” he heard come softly from behind the demons. His heart raced as his eyes snapped up to see you lifting your head.
“You so sure, missy?” Stick-man asked, turning and squeezing your cheeks with one hand, causing you to try to rip your head from his grasp.
“Yes,” you said resolutely when your mouth was free.
“We’ll see,” he chuckled. Sam didn’t like what he was implying and felt a pit growing in his stomach. The demons turned and left, apparently wanting to let the hunters stew for a while.
Once the door squeaked shut, your eyes found Sam’s.
“Don’t tell them anything,” you said. Your eyes bore into his as you spoke.
“Sweetheart, we aren’t going to just let them hurt you,” Dean said. Your eyes snapped to Dean’s.
“You’ll let them do whatever they’re going to do. It’s too important, Dean. I don’t know what they are planning, but I know it’s big. Apocalypse two-point-oh-big. I heard them talking when I was in and out of consciousness in their car. If they take out all the hunters…it’ll all be over.”
“But Y/N, sweetheart, they’re going to hurt you! Maybe even kill you!” Sam yelled, barely containing his anger.
“It’s me or the whole world, Sam,” you said, shaking your head. “I know which one I choose. I hope you’ll respect that.”
The brothers shared a look. They knew you were right, but neither of them wanted to lose you. An understanding passed between them that said they would do whatever they could to keep you alive until they could figure a way out of this. They couldn’t give the demons what they wanted, sure. But they also couldn’t lose their best friend.
And Sam knew he damn sure wouldn’t let that happen.
Summary: You weren’t supposed to be in this mess. Hunting wasn’t your thing; you much preferred the safety of research sitting behind a computer screen.
Now as you looked across the space at your best friends, it was everything you could do not to give up.
You had to hold on, though. For them.
For him.
Triggers: torture, swearing, possible sexual abuse
You brought your hands to your eyes, rubbing at your tired eyelids. You’d been doing research on a demon case for the last five hours, and your eyes were starting to burn from staring at the screen. Your coffee had gone cold, and you felt like you were running on fumes.
“You’re still at it?” said a voice behind you. You dropped your hands and turned to see Sam standing behind you holding his own cup of coffee.
“Yeah,” you sighed. “I just want to figure out where these bastards are taking their victims,” you said, turning back to the screen. You heard Sam move toward you, leaning over your shoulder to look with you at the map pulled up on your screen.
“You’ve checked all the vacant buildings I’m guessing?” he asked, his breath warm as it blew past your cheek. You inhaled the scent of pine, books, and coffee and tried not to get lost in the feeling it gave you.
Sam and Dean were your best friends. The three of you had created a little unconventional family–with the addition of Cas–and you loved every second of it.
There was only one problem:
You had feelings for Sam that weren’t just ones you’d have for a family member.
Blinking against the haze his scent had put you in, you refocused to respond to Sam’s question.
“Yeah, I did. No one has seen anyone going in and out of any of them. And with the sheer volume of people that have gone missing, I’m thinking someone would have to see them,” you said, sighing.
“You’re exactly right,” you heard from behind you again. This time, though, the voice belonged to Dean. Sam stood up and turned toward him, and you missed the warmth that emanated from his body immediately.
“Just got a call from the Des Moines PD. They got a tip about a warehouse on Smith St. that has CCTV footage of hooded men coming in and out in the middle of the night, always carrying large bags.”
“Like, bodies-in-them-large?” you asked.
“Bingo,” he said, throwing his phone down on the table and taking a seat. “We should probably load up, Sammy. Get on the road.”
You nodded, closing your laptop. “Have fun, guys,” you said sarcastically. Demon hunts never seemed to be very fun.
“Y/N, why don’t you come with us?” Sam asked, surprising you. “You’ve been cooped up in this bunker for way too long. You need to get out.”
You stood up, nudging your shoulder into his. Well, into his ribs, really; he was a giant.
“You callin’ me a hermit?” you joked.
He held up his hands defensively. “Just sayin’, you deserve to go on a road trip. We’ll even stop somewhere fun on the way back, promise.”
You thought about it for a second. It really had been a long time since you’d gone anywhere. You were definitely starting to get sick of the cold bunker and looking at computer screens.
You’d been with the brothers for a few years doing research for their cases. They’d met you on a vampire hunt that you’d unfortunately needed to be rescued from. Once you knew about the supernatural, you’d left what few ties you had to your hometown and traveled with the brothers, using your computer and hacking skills to help them along the way.
You usually kept to the bunker, using its vast resources to help with your research. You had thought about learning to hunt, but hadn’t made the decision yet. Something about all the blood and guts really freaked you out.
“Okay, okay, I’ll come,” you said, nodding.
Dean clapped his hands together once. “I’ll get the road trip snacks,” he said, walking quickly out of the library and toward his Dean Cave. You shook your head at your best friend, laughing at how excited he was for his special snacks.
“Meet you in the car in ten, Y/N,” Sam said, giving your shoulder a squeeze as he walked past you. Your heart fluttered a little, which you ignored, walking toward your own room after a moment to pack a small bag.
“Any requests, Sweetheart?” Dean asked from the driver’s seat.
“Anything besides Metallica, please,” you said, exasperated. Dean listened to his favorite Metallica tape over and over and you didn’t think you could hear it one more time.
“Psh, you just don’t appreciate good music,” he said.
Sam scoffed from the front passenger seat.
“What?” Dean asked, annoyed.
“Y/N/N has great taste in music,” he said, sorting through Dean’s box of cassette tapes. “You just don’t like any music that isn’t yours.”
You smiled a little, glad that Sam was defending you. The banter continued between the three of you for the rest of the drive, and before you knew it you had reached Des Moines.
The boys set you up in a motel room, where they could call you if they needed you to research something on your laptop. It was only early evening, and you knew the boys wanted to get an interview or two in before they went on the stakeout of the warehouse.
“You sure you don’t need anything else?” Sam asked for the thousandth time on his way out.
“I. Am. Fine.,” you replied, lightly shoving him out the door after his brother. “Call me if you need anything.”
He dug his heels in, which stopped your shoving. He turned and looked at you, a small smile on his face.
“Thanks, Y/N/N,” he said.
You felt a light blush rise to your cheeks. You loved when he called you by your nickname.
“Anytime, Stretch,” you said with a wink.
A couple hours later, you walked to the vending machine looking for something to snack on. You had just reached into your pocket for change when everything went black.
Words:3,222 Sam x Reader Warnings:none! Summary: Y/N’s sister is at the bunker door and Sam and Y/N must deal with the fall-out. A/N: This is the final part of this series, although there MAY be an epilogue at some point soon. I hope you’re all happy with an ending that is a long time coming! This is what I had planned for this fic, although it feels strange to end it immediately after such a long hiatus, but I hope it gives you the right feels.
Sam felt his hands clench into fists. It sent a twinge up his arm underneath his cast. The muscle in his jaw twitched as he looked at your sister, trying to come up with some innocuous reason for her being there. He finally let out a heavy sigh and his eyes fell to the floor. “I don’t think there’s really anything we have to say to each other,” he said quietly.
She took a step forward and his eyes lifted up and stopped her in her tracks. “I—I understand why you don’t have anything to say to me,” she said, wringing her hands. “And that’s okay. But I do have some things to say to you. If you could just listen. Just for a minute.”
Sam’s stomach twisted with nerves, but he took in the earnest and anxious look on her face and finally nodded. “Fine.”
She hesitated for a moment, nerves silencing her briefly until she could unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth. “First—I just—I’m so sorry… I don’t deserve forgiveness from you, and I’m not asking for it. There’s—there’s no possible excuse for what I did. I don’t have one. But I want you to know that I’m sorry. I won’t say ‘I never meant to hurt you,’ because I knew that it would hurt. And I knew you would probably find out eventually… But I was selfish. I was—you didn’t deserve that. You deserve so much better than that.”
Sam gulped and stared at her, perplexed and a little apprehensive about where this was going.
“And I guess that’s why I’m here; because you do deserve better than that, and I’m not it,” she said, her cheeks coloring with guilt and shame. “We were okay when we started dating, but—I don’t think we were even ever great, you know?” She studied his handsome face and sighed, clasping her hands together nervously. “Even in the beginning, we were never great.”
Sam shifted uncomfortably. It was true. There had been good times in the beginning, but even then, something always felt… not whole, not complete. Something seemed to be missing. He hadn’t known at the time what it was and he’d talked himself into believing he was happy, but now he knew he’d always wanted you. Quite simply, he and your sister just weren’t a good match. But Sam so badly wanted some part of his life to be normal. He wanted some part of his life to work. And then there was the fear in the back of his mind that if he broke it off with her, he’d lose you too. And that was an unbearable thought, even if he didn’t register it consciously.
“I think—I think eventually I realized that you were starting to pull back,” she went on. “It didn’t happen all at once, but suddenly there was such a distance between us. Or, I don’t know. Maybe it’d always been there and I’d just been masking it with ‘new relationship’ flutters, you know?” Sam felt a pang of guilt at these words. “I felt like I was a part of something. Close to my sister, close to you and Dean, who she was always gushing about…”
“It wasn’t anything you did,” Sam said softly. “The distance. It wasn’t—"
She lifted a hand to reassure him that she wasn’t laying blame on him. “I know. I know that… And you do deserve better from the person you’re with, but so do I. And neither of us was getting what we wanted, what we needed. And that’s where it should have ended. But instead, I just—” She sighed and hung her head, her eyes closing in regret. “I fucked up. I wanted all of it. I was afraid to lose what I had if I went looking for more and didn’t find it. So, I snuck around and I cheated and I hurt you… and maybe lost my sister in the process… And I’m just so sorry.” Sam could hear the depth of her remorse and regret. There was a thick, heavy silence before she went on. “But I’m determined that something good comes out of this whole mess.” She studied his face for another long moment and Sam shifted uneasily again, waiting with bated breath to see where in the hell this was all going…
She continued in a soft voice that rang true with goodhearted care. “That distance? The holding back that I felt from you? There’s a reason for it. And I think I was in denial about it, purposefully forcing myself to be unaware. But I’ve had a lot of time to think since this all happened, a lot of time to replay everything and now looking back, hindsight being 20/20, I wish I’d acknowledged it ages ago. I could have prevented a lot of bad feelings for both of us.”
Sam’s heart was pounding in his chest and he anxiously slipped his uninjured hand into his pocket and shifted again.
Your sister suddenly laughed lightly, good-naturedly and it caught Sam off-guard. “Kind of seems like I was an idiot now not to realize it sooner…”
“Uhh—realize what?”
She smiled at him, a little pensive smile. “The way you lit up whenever she came in the room. How the two of you always seemed to be standing so close. How you each stole glances at the other when you weren’t looking. The late nights and deep talks you had with her that we never had… Your god-awful same sense of humor. How you’d always stare just a little too long when she was walking away, how’d you’d be looking at her instead of at me… I didn’t want to see it at the time, but it explains the way we drifted apart. And I guess it’s better late than never,” she said with a dry laugh. “The distance, the holding back? Sam, you’re in love with Y/N. And the two of you are—” she shrugged, “much better suited for each other than you and I will ever be.” She gulped, her eyes searching his face and trying to get a read on him. “And the last thing I want is to be the one that keeps the two of you apart any longer. You both deserve to be happy. And it’s about time I let this all go. So, please get off your ass and do something about it with a guilt-free conscience. That’s really why I came here.”
Sam’s mouth dropped partially open and his eyebrows lifted in understanding and relief. He let out a wry laugh and brushed a hand through his hair. “Uhh—” He stared down for a moment at his shoes. “I’ve got to say that I’m—extremely relieved to hear you say that,” he said, hazarding a glance up at her. She tilted her head inquisitively, her eyebrows lifting. “You’re right. About all of it. And there are plenty of things I should apologize to you for—”
“There aren’t,” she interrupted.
Sam shook his head. “There are. I was… unavailable to you. And you’re right when you say that we both deserve better than that. I won’t say that it didn’t hurt or that I wasn’t angry about how this all ended… but what’s done is done.” She smiled fondly at him and felt a sense of relief and peace come over her. She’d played this conversation in her head a million times before she had the courage to show up, imagining the worst-case scenario and the best… and even the best hadn’t gone this well. “But, uhh—” Sam rubbed a hand over his mouth and let out a nervous laugh. “Your timing is pretty impeccable.” She gave him another questioning look. “I got off my ass finally and did something about it. Just—like, last night.”
A genuine laugh bubbled out of her and Sam smiled because it sounded so much like yours. “You’re joking.”
“Thank God I’m not,” he said with a grin. “I—I hope that isn’t weird for you to hear?”
“Weird? Are you kidding? Besides needing to apologize to you in person… like I said, it’s the entire reason I’m here. I—I hope it went well?” Sam’s smile widened into a grin and she laughed again. “I’m so glad. I really, really am.” But her smile faded a little quickly and Sam rocked on his feet.
“I don’t think you lost your sister,” he said. Her eyes shot back up to his. “She’s right downstairs. If you’d like to see her.”
“Would—would she see me? She sounded pretty pissed when we last spoke…”
Sam nodded. “You know, I think she would,” he reassured her. “Just wait here in the front room and—I’ll go get her. If you want?”
She hesitated a moment longer before she nodded, her eyes look a little glassy. Sam led her down the stairs and headed back toward the kitchen.
Dean was leaned up against the kitchen counter, his green eyes following your progress as you hobbled back and forth across the room endlessly. “Would you please for the love of my sanity and your goddamn leg, sit down?” he growled.
You only shot him another anxious and somewhat annoyed look. “No! How the hell am I supposed to sit still right now?” you remarked heatedly. “She’s—she’s—UGH!” You rubbed your hands over your face. “This is the worst. This is the worst possible timing… what could she possibly—” Your mind was whirling with anxious thoughts and scenarios. “What if—what if Sam gets back together with her?”
Dean let out an aghast laugh. “Are you out of your mind? The guy just admitted he’s in love with you after pining for you for months, maybe even years! Why the hell would he do that? You were just about to tell him that you’re in love with him. I could tell! I know it! That isn’t just going to go away.” Dean watched as your face blanched.
“Oh, God. Oh—oh my God,” you suddenly murmured, leaning onto the counter.
“W—what? What’s the matter?” Dean urged, now genuinely worried by your reaction.
“She’s—Dean, what if she’s here because she’s pregnant?” you asked, your expression tortured. “Sam’s—Sam would want to do the right thing! He wouldn’t be able to—”
But a smug look grew on Dean’s face and he let out a gruff laugh.
“How the hell could you possibly be laughing right now?!”
“Look, this may be TMI, but I’m pretty sure that’s not likely,” he said.
“How the fuck would YOU know?!”
“First of all, I found her chick anti-baby pills or whatever one time and second of all, I’mmmm pretty sure there hasn’t been much of anything happening in the bedroom between those two for, uhh—quite a while…”
You weren’t sure whether to feel relieved or disgusted or concerned about why Dean knew this. Maybe all three. “…why would you know that?”
“It’s not like I was listening at the door! Jesus! Don’t look at me like I’m a perv!”
You cocked your head, your brow furrowed. “You can be kind of a perv…”
“Alright, that’s fair… BUT. He’s my damn brother! We’ve shared motel rooms since we were kids. I know his, uhh, frustrated habits, shall we say?”
“…You’re telling me that you know Sam so well you can tell when he isn’t getting laid by some sort of sexually frustrated tell, like this is an abstinence poker game?”
Dean looked proud of himself and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.”
You looked skeptical. “Uh huh… and what is it exactly?”
Dean laughed again. “It’s not rocket science! The guy gets particularly OCD about me getting water on the bathroom floor when I take a shower or about me leaving dirty glasses around. Basically, he turns into our dad, the anal-retentive Marine veteran. One time Sam stepped in a puddle of water in his socks after I’d cleaned up and I really thought he was going to murder me. I tried to take him out the next night and set him up with this super-hot brunette at the motel bar but—”
“Alright! That’s enough!” you groaned. “Ugh… Why did I think this conversation would help…” you murmured, slumping over on the kitchen island.
“What’s the matter?”
You spun around to see Sam standing in the doorway and you straightened up, a worry line creased between your brows. “What’s going on?” you asked hesitantly.
Sam smiled widely and closed the gap between the two of your quickly, clasping your face gently and crashing his lips down onto yours in a fiery kiss that left you feeling dazed and weak at the knees. You almost stumbled backwards to regain your balance but Sam’s hand on your lower back steadied you.
“Get a room!” Dean scoffed from the other side of the kitchen, but he was roundly ignored.
Sam brushed your hair away from your face when you broke apart and you were just looking up at him with a doe-eyed expression that made him laugh. “There’s nothing to worry about,” he said. “She came to apologize and—” he shook his head and laughed again.
“What?” you pressed him.
“—and inform me that I’m in love with you,” he explained, giving you a pointed look.
You stared at him, stunned, trying to process what he’d just said.
“And she wants her sister back,” he added. “I told her that I didn’t think she really lost you in the first place,” he said.
You felt a bubble of emotion grow in your chest, fit to burst, and you nodded as you looked up at Sam. He wrapped you into a tight hug briefly, and then laced his fingers with yours and started back toward the hallway. “Wait—” You stopped him and he looked back at you. “She’s—she’s okay with this?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I really think she is. That’s why she’s here. She said you and I deserve to be happy.”
You blinked away the tears stinging your eyes and nodded, following Sam out and under the high ceilings of the war room. And there she was. Your sister. Standing nervously in the middle of the room, her hands wringing anxiously. You gulped and let Sam help you hobble across the floor to her.
“Hi,” she said weakly, almost afraid to meet your eyes.
“Hey,” you returned.
“I’ll give you two a minute,” Sam said, his hand slipping from your lower back. Your sister watched the way you glanced at him over your shoulder, and how he looked back at the threshold. Anyone could see that the eye contact between the two of you was magnetic and there was an unmistakable softness.
“I guess the big, dramatic newsflash I thought I was bringing wasn’t needed,” your sister said.
You turned and met her eyes, your cheeks coloring. There was a tense pause and then she blurted out, “I’m sorry” at the same time as you burst out with the same thing. The two of you gave each other surprised looks before you both started laughing with relief.
“Me first,” she said. “I’m so sorry I lied to you. And—and about all the rest of it. I behaved like a piece of shit…”
You sighed. “I’m sorry I was so hard on you.”
“You shouldn’t be,” she said, shaking her head. “You weren’t. I deserved it.”
Another long silence settled before she stepped forward suddenly and wrapped you in a tight hug. You returned it eagerly, wrapping your arms around her and squeezing extra tight.
“I’m so happy for you and Sam. Truly,” she murmured into your shoulder.
You pulled back, hesitant. “Are you? Really? I was worried—”
She shook her head. “It feels like our relationship ended a long time ago. I shouldn’t have held on so long. Any idiot could see he was already gone,” she said with a sad smile. “I’m not here to charge back into your life or anything. I need to find my own place in the universe but—I miss my sister,” she said, a tear breaking free and rolling down her cheek. She hurriedly wiped it away.
“I’m right here. You’ve still got me,” you said. “And I miss you too. Even when I don’t like you, I still love you. We’re family.”
“But you and Sam need space. You deserve space,” she said. “I’m gonna stay back home for a while. Figure out who I am and what the hell I’m doing with my life.”
“You have to at least stay for dinner,” came a voice from the doorway. Sam. “I insist.”
Your sister glanced at you with a question on her brow. You nodded. “Please.”
She smiled and nodded. “If you’ll have me.”
You linked your arm with her, and although you hadn’t completely forgiven her, you felt like a weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying on your shoulders was suddenly gone. But your thoughts were quickly interrupted.
“Um—Are you going to tell me what the hell you did to yourself?” she asked, watching you limp and taking in the bruises she could see.
You laughed. “Oh, you know. Witches. The usual.”
Sam linked his hand with yours as you reached him, and the three of you found Dean in the kitchen. His initial reception of your sister was understandably icy, but he warmed slowly as you all sat down over a beer and he watched you and Sam interacting with her easily. That meant something, and that was good enough for him.
After dinner, you hugged her tightly again and she waved from the threshold of the door leading outside, promising to call. As Sam shut the door behind her and heaved a relieved sigh you grinned at him.
“Well, I didn’t see that coming,” he said as he reached the bottom of the stairs. His hands landed on your hips.
“Me either,” you agreed, smiling up at him. “But I’m relieved. I didn’t realize how worried and stressed I was about it.”
“We can’t have that,” Sam said. He bent and kissed the top of your head as you wrapped your arms around him tightly and leaned against his strong chest. “I’ve got a favor to ask you,” he said.
“Hmm?”
“Would you let me hold you all night? You seem to be a magic cure for poor sleep,” he said, feeling a little sheepish asking but wanting it more than anything.
You grinned. “That isn’t a favor. That sounds perfect.” The apples of your cheeks glowed pink with a blush and for once in your life everything felt right and you were just happy right where you were.
A/N: I’m so excited about posting something for the first time in months. Writing has been tough, but I hope this is the first of more to come. It’s a drabble, but it’s done! I haven’t written anything quite like this before. Thanks for the OOC square @howbadcanitbebingo .
I tried. Honestly, I did, but sometimes it just isn’t worth it anymore. Dean is done. Because of him, I kept on fighting everything that goes bump in the night, all the evil, every twisted thing imaginable for far longer than I otherwise would have. If I’d known things would end up like this, maybe I would have let him do it without me.
