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 If Ashen One tries to siphon health from Sir Vilhelm right in front of Sister Friede…  If Ashen One tries to siphon health from Sir Vilhelm right in front of Sister Friede…  If Ashen One tries to siphon health from Sir Vilhelm right in front of Sister Friede…  If Ashen One tries to siphon health from Sir Vilhelm right in front of Sister Friede…

If Ashen One tries to siphon health from Sir Vilhelm right in front of Sister Friede…


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Personal recommendations for Dark Souls characters to get you started. Focusing specifically on Dark Souls 1 because I remember that game more than the other two.

  1. Dark Sun Gwyndolin (Archer, magic user, and has snakes for legs)
  2. Seath the scaleless (betrayed his fellow dragons, went brutally insane trying to find a way to make himself immortal.)
  3. Crossbreed Priscilla: Large woman, half dragon (Seath’s daughter), wields a scythe, and can go invisible (she’s also been trapped in a painted world for eons by herself, so more than likely she’s very lonely… wink wink)
  4. Capra Demon: Strong enough to wield two slabs of metal at once. Clearly does not take “no” for an answer
  5. Dark Dragon Kalameet: Big dragon with telekinetic powers.
  6. Chaos Witch Quelaag: Giant fire spider lady who just wants her sick sister to get better, and will happily kill anyone who interferes with that.

Other quick recommendations from across the series: Knight Ornstein, Sister Friede, The Pursuer (literally a stalker), Flexile Sentry, Mytha the Baneful Queen (Lore says she gives good head), Demon of Song, Nashandra (She has two forms, both are hot), Dancer & Vordt of the Boreal Valley, High Lord Wolnir (Lord of the bone-zone), Pontiff Sulyvahn, Aldrich Devourer of Gods, and the Twin Princes. 

The Dark Souls series has lots of beings who are giant people, and even monsters. Sorry, I hope you don’t mind, I just love the series so much I can’t help but gush.

Tawney: Gush all you want! I love learning about new monsters.

  • Gwyndolin: If he wants to have sex with you, tell him to take the mask off. I’m more worried about someone getting poked with it than the snakes.
  • Seath: Technically not a scalie.
  • Priscilla: Well, the family’s open to monster-human relations, so that’s good?
  • Capra Demon: I am lowering my leggings as we speak.
  • Kalameet: If he wants to procreate, then would I still give live birth or would he make me lay eggs?
  • Quelaag: She actually has a good reason to be nude.
  • Ornstein: Probably a loaded furry who commissioned that armor.
  • Sister Friede: Are nun kinks as common as priest kinks?
  • Pursuer: He must be a damn good one with that heavy looking armor.
  • Sentry: Think of all the hugs, aw.
  • Mytha: Yeah, I can see that.
  • Demon of Song: Something, something, “frog in your throat.”
  • Nashandra: Having a traditionally pretty form and a macabre form will make you popular here. XD
  • Dancer: But does she give lap dances?
  • Vordt: “A former Outrider Knight of the Boreal Valley who has degraded into a feral beast.”
  • Wolnir: He cantakeme to the Bone Zone.
  • Pontiff Sulyvahn: Pontiff? He is the Pope of Tall People.
  • Aldrich: So… a blob monster that disguises himself as a pretty boy? Yeah, I’ll go for that.
  • Twin Princes: Are way prettier than I am. :(
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