siyeonrk‌:

( tw !! mentions of drowning )

“wait— those things don’thelp you actually stay afloat?” somehow, any little colour left in her face drains out with his words despite the wide grin softening his features. well, now she’s gladshe didn’t have any. it’d be unnecessary embarrassment on top of what already exists, churning in her stomach. is there anyway to make this less humiliating for her? she doubts it. at least besides not actually being here at all, but if that was the case, how would she everlearn? “itisembarrassing, though. why didn’t anyone take me swimming as a kid?” she pouts, kicking her feet before remembering where she is. her heart pounds, her mind a mess of childhood memories of somewhat absent parents and visions of herself tumbling in. would he catch her? probably. 

(probablydoesn’t fill her with much confidence, but she swallows her pride, swallows her fears and inches closer. )

“here? jen—I usually… go in at thatend.” whenever she’s paddled around with jeno in his pool, he’s always stayed in the shallow end with her, where her feet can touch the floor and his hand is only an arm’s length away, or she’s sat on the side with just her feet dipped in. the privacy of his family pool and the protective nature of her company make braving the water easier, but here, like this, she doesn’t feel confident enough to trust anything — even herself. but wonpil wouldn’t urge her to do anything dangerous, right? she askedhim to teach her; he knows best. he’s just trying to help. “uh… okay. promise you won’t let me drown?” carefully, she lowers to hang her legs off the edge and lowers herself in, shaking as the water comes up to her shoulders and doesn’t seem to stop. 

“theydo,” he emphasizes, a bit of a teasing lilt in his voice. “children. they help childrenstay afloat.” he grins, bringing the kickboard he’d brought in with him forward, holding it up for her to see. “this however,will help hold you up. it’s what it’s made for…not that you’ll really need it yet, the water isn’t so deep at this point.” even though he’s a bit taller than her, he’s standing with his head and shoulders a good distance above the water, so although she’ll feel the water level is deeper than he does, she should still be able to stand comfortably without feeling like the water is about to close in on her. the key word is should, becasuse he’s starting to see why she still hadn’t learned to swim. it’s much more than just not knowing how; there’s an underlying fear there that seems worse than others who simply did not know the technique. “it’s only embarrassing if you let others’ opinions matter to you like that.”

knowing this and seeing her finally agree to get into the water, he gets closer toward the edge where she had previously been standing, all sense of teasing gone now, replaced by an encouraging smile instead. once she’s in, he positions the kickboard, slipping it between her body and her arms so that she can grab onto it easily. he admits he’s slightly underestimated the water level and her height, but she should still be able to tiptoe along the bottom of the pool and still keep her head afloat, especially with the kickboard now in her grasp. “see, was that so bad?” he asks, hoping it wasn’t, because if it was, they might have just taken one step forward, and five steps back. “just take a few breaths. try to relax. fear and stress are heavy, so once you let that go, you’ll be able to float better.”

the power of three.

rkjeno·:

siyeonrk

to say siyeon’s nervous would be an understatement. just from the weight of her picnic basket alone it’s plain to see she’d stress baked enough to feed the entire park, but if that doesn’t give it away, the way her fingers dance across her knees should. they’re pulled up against her chest, her back turned to jeno to look across the crowd. the gentle hum of life around her is muffled by her thoughts— would he like her? did she dress nicely enough? would he like what she’d prepared for them to eat? she hums to herself, tucking a loose strand of her behind her ear. 

there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. jeno will have put in a good word, if not because he’s her best friend, then because jeno is too nice not to. but she knows the impression she gives off, knows what she thinks of herself. if eric is anything like jeno, maybe he won’t mind that her usual clothes are blindingly bright or that her words are often rather firm and brash, but she doesn’t know that yet. she just knows that until he arrives, she’s going to continue wiggling her feet and tapping her fingertips against her knees. hopefully, it won’t take long. 

normally, jeno would be fixated on siyeon enough to notice how nervous she seemed. he was usually pretty good at reading her, but his mind was too preoccupied for him to entirely notice. truthfully, he’d been out of it ever since he found out about eric. carrying around such a huge and horrible secret weighed him down, making him a hundred times heavier than usual. he wasn’t constantly smiling or making jokes, he was far away, lost inside of his own mind. he agreed to do this because he wanted to start making an effort at strengthening his relationship with eric now that he knows he’s his brother, plus it was important to siyeon…

but he couldn’t help but feel there were more important things for him to be doing. with every day that passed by without him telling his mother the truth, or at least confronting his dad, he felt worse. he almost felt like an accessory to the crime, given he is withholding the information. it felt wrong… dirty… but he doesn’t want to focus on that. he wants to have a good day, he just wishes that it wasn’t so hard. finally, he turns to look at siyeon, trying his best to seem in good spirits. “he’ll be here. maybe he got lost in the crowd.”

eric’s been trying not to think about it. that day at jeno’s when they figured it out had been one of the scariest days in eric’s life, and he’d been pretty on edge since. he’d been trying not to show it though, putting on a happy, bright, unbothered exterior so that know one knew he was constantly terrified of this situation going south. he’s scared that jeno blames him for ruining his perception of his family, and probably eventually the reality of his family, since eric assumes it’ll eventually come out and he’ll have been the catalyst to his family falling apart.

but, he’s got to pretend everything is okay for his own mental stability right now - he can’t let his worries take over, especially not this weekend when he’s got so many people to spend time with. two of those people being jeno and a long-time friend of his, siyeon. eric has heard a lot about her, and knows she means a great deal to jeno. so, he has to make a good impression. 

only problem is he’d just fallen in the river with chaewon and had literally only minutes ago waded out and parted ways with her, sending her off with his soaked plaid shirt to cover her white dress. he’d left her with other friends, knowing he needed to get to this picnic with jeno and siyeon, even if he was soaked and shivering. luckily it’s sunny, so he’s rapidly drying off as he walks across the grass, heading for the couple he can see on a picnic blanket not far away. “jeno!” he calls out as he gets close enough, finally stopped beside the blanket and giving a slightly embarrassed smile. “uh… sorry about… this,” he gestures at his soaked self. “i fell in the river.”

at least i look cool.

siyeonrk

he sees right through her and, again, she wonders why she’s so surprised. sicheng isn’t stupidand she isn’t subtle — unfortunately, she’s an open book when it comes to love, it’s just that the only person she wants to read it is too busy gamingto soak it in. still, that doesn’t give sicheng the right to say it so casually. won’t he allow her a littledignity? “that is n-notwhat I said…” she mutters, but she’s fighting a losing battle. “but fine… maybe I do like someone else. but I still feel bad for your standards if I’m not your type. they must be low.” when it doubt, pretend your ego is bigger than the solar system— and when thatmask cracks, just admit that maybe you’re just worried you’ll neverbe good enough for anyone, much less him. for now, though, she just clicks her tongue. “you’re not allowed to like me, anyway, because then I’d have to reject you and I’d never get to see any movies.” 

she can’t really saythat talking to her is both a great and terrible idea because it’d mean explainingwhy and she’s not really readyfor that, but it isthe case. she’s a great listener, at least she thinks so, and she does her best to comfort others. however, she isn’t a professional and she certainly has her own demons. how can she help other people with certain things if she can’t even help herself? “I’m not qualified for this but whatever— hit me with it. who’s this fictional crush you can’t get over? are they at least human? please tell me they’re human.” 

it’s genuinely not his intention to make her so uncomfortable or shifty, but he’s never been the best at cautiously tiptoeing around sore topics. he does wonder why she is so weird about having a crush. then again, he supposes that he usually is about his own, too. it’s too risky to openly talk about it when it’s not something that anyone wants to get back to the other person. sicheng could potentially trust siyeon with knowing about his own, but that’s onlybecause he is pretty certain she doesn’t personally know the one who makes him weak in the knees. “i can see you’re being kind of strange about it, so i won’t ask a lot of questions. also, it’s not my standards. i mean… i don’t exactly play for your team… if you know what i mean.” he looks at her with a bit of an awkward smile, then quietly laughs. “it’s a good thing i don’t like you, then. well… not in that way, that is.”

her questions amuse him, and he pretends to accidentally bump into her even though it’s actually one-hundred percent intentional. “you’re so ridiculous. of course it’s human. it’s not a fictional crush, it’s a real crush. it’s, uh… an ex-idol. but the thing is, when this person used to be an idol, i was a big fan. in a way, i guess i never got over that, so it’s just… complicated. he’s extremely out of my league. but then again,  i’ve always had self-destructive tendencies.”