#smash hits
Smash Hits (1989 Sticker Book): 132/?
Credits to Michael Kane.
QUEEN
• FREDDIE MERCURY
When he was very young in the ‘70s Frederick Bulsara had alarmingly long hair and great big huge front teeth and he thought it would be a great idea to be an infamous rock singer called Freddie Mercury. So he created an outfit called Smile but quickly thought better of it and changed the name to Queen, whereupon they invented a tune called “Bohemian Rhapsody” which had many “foreign” bits in it and was an enormous hit. They became famous and were announced to be the “best live band in the world” (hem hem), and Freddie Mercury grew an unspeakable moustache and looked like Lord Lucan (deceased member of the aristocracy). Nowadays, Fred spends much of his time being an operatic sort with Montserrat Caballe — an enormous woman in a bedspread.
Smash Hits (October 18 - October 31, 1989): 128/?
Credits to Michael Kane.
[Scandal advert]
~~
[Scandal lyrics]
~~
QUEEN: Scandal (Parlophone) In which Freddie and his mates get their own back on the popular press, deservedly lashing the rotters for their ever increasing tendency to make up fibs in their never ceasing quest for smut. Marvellous stuff, full of thumping synths and a perky Brian May guitar bit, though due to the sheer sensibleness of its theme, it lacks the usual over-the-topness that makes a good Queen single great.
Smash Hits (December 12 - December 25, 1990): 135/?
Credits to Michael Kane.
Has VANILLA ICE been stealing other people’s songs?
DearGordon!, I think Vanilla Ice is really great. However, I gather that bits of the “Ice Ice Baby” song are stolen from an old Queen song. Is this true and if so why did he choose that record?
G. Herrick, Sussex.
Gordon investigates: Indeed you’re right! The bassline of "Ice Ice Baby” is “borrowed” from Queen and David Bowie’s “Under Pressure” — a Number One record in 1981. Vanilla Ice discovered the song quite by chance, as he told Blimey!:
“The way I do stuff is to go through old records that my brother has. He used to listen to rock ‘n’ roll and stuff like that. I listened to funk and hip hop because rock wasn’t really my era. But having a brother like that, well, I just mixed the two, and he had a copy of ‘Under Pressure’. And putting those sounds to hip hop was great.“
Although Vanilla did give both Queen and David Bowie a credit on his single, the latter is rumoured to be suing Ice.
Smash Hits (March 7 - March 20, 1990): 134/?
Credits to Michael Kane.
THE BRITS AWARDS
SPECIAL AWARD
(For Outstanding Contribution To The Music Industry)
Queen
“Rumour” had it that Queen were going to perform a’mazin’ number but the audience left so swiftly in the middle of “Bohemian Rhapsody” (the worst song ever written) that they couldn’t. Oh dear.
~~
Queen are off having their own super-posh party elsewhere in London.
Smash Hits (1990 Yearbook): 133/?
Credits to Michael Kane.
September 5: Freddie Mercury
LORD FREDERICK OF MERCURY — HIS STITCH IN ROCK’S TAPESTRY!
[Photo caption: Freddie’s the one at the front with a moustache]
Freddie Mercury was born Clarence Ohio Smedley Jnr. somewhere in England in 1932, but it was not until some time in the 70s, after he met a warm-hearted poodle breeder from Grimsby by the name of Brian May — and the other two blokes of course — that he became the lead singer of a group called Smile. At the time he was working as an aerobics teacher and thus stumbled on a triff gimmick for his group — they should all wear leotards. Freddie renamed the group Queenie, after his granny’s cocker spaniel, and they became a big hit with the kids. Ten years later he grew a moustache and dressed up in a black leather mini skirt, met a portly foreign woman wearing a bedsheet and made some dreadful opera music with his blue suit on, and that’s about it really. Viva Freddie.
Smash Hits (July 22 - August 4, 1992): 153/?
Credits to Michael Kane.
FREDDIE MERCURY/MONTSERRAT CABALLE:
Barcelona Written and originally released five years ago for an Olympic Games that only happens this year, Barcelona is a glorious, massively camp exercise in vocal gymnastics. Fred and Mont competing over five minutes. Brilliant, that most unusual of records: an event! Apparently Freddie knew he was dying of AIDS when he recorded this, hence the premature release. Sad, but a fitting tribute. Hear this and deny Freddie was a stunning singer at your peril.
Smash Hits (May 27 - June 9, 1992): 152/?
Credits to Michael Kane.
Aa
HMV’s Top Five T-shirts at the mo:1. Queen(Crest),2. Carter(Condom),3. Nirvana(Nevermind),4. Def Leppard(Eyeball),5. Guns N’ Roses(Logo)
~~
BEST NEW ALBUM
QUEEN: Live At Wembley ‘86
28 — 28! — rocktacular classics, thousands of Brian May screechy bits, John Deacon bass “riffs”, Roger Taylor drum rolls but most importantly of all, the operatic overblown theatrics that made Sir Freddie of Mercury such a superstar. There’s nearly two hours of Queen faves here from the brilliant early stuff like Seven Seas Of Rhye to the more recent hits. If you’re a Queen fan but never got to see them live, this is a fine consolation.
Wayne Stamp
