Idk about this one boys, Cookie Monster always refers to Cookie Monster’s self as “Cookie Monster”.
no he doesn’t. he refers to himself as “me.” elmo’s the one that talks in third person. that’s the joke. elmo doesn’t use pronouns and cookie monster is blue. how dare you assume i made this post and didnt know my fucking sesame street history. christ
Question 7: Assuming that the Roman Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation is correct, estimate how tall Christ our Lord must have been in order for His body to furnish all properly consecrated Communion wafers consumed to date. Justify your assumptions.
the thing is not only is Jonathan Harker a lawyer, he’s a lawyer who JUST passed the bar. studying for and taking the bar melts your fucking brain so bad. all of his common sense has been replaced with property law. instead of brain there is short essay about insurance consumer protection. I guarantee he still remembers all six kinds of homicide in detail despite the fact that he will never touch criminal law in his life. it is honestly a miracle that he even made it far enough to get seduced by Dracula
This is it, this is the post that made me wonder why Tumblr is suddenly obsessed with Dracula and start reading Dracula Daily
You know, it’s not often that a user name so thoroughly checks out as it does here, biglawbear…
Not to mention that he’s a real estate & probate attorney, who have the weirdest early-career jobs on the planet - especially at boutique law firms.
One of my law school classmate was sent overseas within 2mo of passing the bar to review under-contract properties on behalf of his client, and he and his guide were cornered for over two hours by a pet lion the seller abandoned on some property in China.
And back in the 90s, my boss was shotwhile inspecting a decedent’s ranch property that had (unbeknownst to the clients) been taken over by a bunch of skinheads squatting on the land.
I mean, to Jonathan Harker’s credit, meeting a kinda weird and reclusive rich client in a remote location, and getting lowkey “I either want to drink your blood or sleep with you” vibes from him is pretty par for the course in this practice area. The wolves might make it a fun law school reunion story, but tbh the first ~5 years of practice for boutique probate/real estate attorneys are basically like:
[Image description: A three panel screencap from a John Mulaney comedy special. The subtitles says, “By the way, part of me was just like, ‘whatever,’ you know? You know these days when you’re like, ‘this might as well happen’? Adult life is already so goddamn weird.” /end image description]
