A visitor came into my workplace with a bathroom emergency and asked me if I would look after her huge dog while she was otherwise occupied. I said yes, and when she came back from the bathroom, she found me flat on my back pinned to the floor while her enormous and needy Newfoundland sat on my chest and refused to budge.
Why did you let him sit on you?
I didn’t “let” him so much as “I was physically unable to stop him”. I knelt on the ground next to him and scratched him above the tail to comfort him and he just… leaned and squashed.
The owner was SO apologetic and I had to reassure her that getting flattened to a pancake by her elephantine dog was the best part of my day.
So far, people who get the same answer rb and tag this in VERY SIMILAR WAYS. Which is so cool!!! You know what really kills me though? People who get “you don’t like being held accountable” NEVER reblog it. BUT YOU GUYS ARE THE MOST POPULAR RESULT. I KNOW YOU’RE THERE. which tells me that you don’t like being held accountable SO MUCH that you will boycott a whole ass uquiz bc of it. And that, my friends, that is beautiful.
1) yeah, this is where ur name goes when u enter it in – idk why they even ask for it either
2) Sadboihrs, if you’re out there, I am COMPLETELY UNSURPRISED that you got conflict avoidant.
You know the joke in Men at Arms about the billiard balls? They’re made of “elephantless ivory” by the alchemists, but they have a nasty habit of exploding when used.
This was an actually real-world thing.
Owing to the high price of ivory (and, y’know, the over-hunting of elephants to the brink of extinction), in 1869 a billiards supply manufacturer offered $10,000 to whoever could make a synthetic ball that met the same specifications as ivory. A guy named John Wesley Hyatt came up with a nitrocelluloseball – nitrocellulose being both the basis of celluloidfilm and certain kinds of rocket fuel.Hyatt’s balls were extremely flammable, and even hitting them together too hard could cause a small explosion that sounded like a gunshot.
(Yes, in hindsight, that sentence was hilarious.)
So Discworld’s exploding alchemical billiard balls had a Roundworld equivalent, albeit not as dramatic. God damn it, Pterry.
People think of children as either sweet and innocent or too stupid to cause much trouble and both views are wrong. A child of elementary school age has the moral reasoning and impulse control of a racoon paired with problem solving equal to or superior to an adult’s, yet unbound by the shackles of cautionary experience or awareness of long-term consequence.
This is what allows the children to both create a black market in live bioweapons while still only valuing said weapons at 25 cents.
