#sparx chats
!! vitally important information alert !!
grian calls himself “good times with grian” in scar’s buildswap episode
i mentioned writing mumbo/scar where they have sex about the fact they’ve both got (presumed unrequited) crushes on grian in a discord once, and it was supposed to be a joke but now months later i’m haunted by the image of them having pissy miserable hatesex about it to the tune of “grian doesn’t love you” “well he doesn’t love you either” “fuck you” “yes, that’s what i’m currently doing” “i’m imagining you’re grian” “i know”
@pomrania replied to your post:
If you’re amenable to Naruto, there’s a fic that I think you might like? Mutual consensual cannibalism for survival purposes.
it’s- it’s about the theme. it’s about the vibes. it’s not actually about the cannibalism, it’s about predation and danger and lazy easy power and about loving someone so much you want them inside you in a way more tangible than sex, about the inherently consumptive and hungry nature of desire, about the intersection of worship and sacrifice and self-abnegation, about the fine line between arousal and terror, between sex and religion and horror, between possessiveness and desire and actual physical hunger.
it’s about the weird fucked up little connections my brain makes and the kind of dark and velvety and midnight feel i get when i write very, very specific cannibalism stuff. i really would be genuinely surprised if anyone writing cannibalism stuff managed to hit the buttons i want hit, because it’s fundamentally not about the cannibalism.
honestly i get the impulse to make xisuma the server dad or the Big Scary Admin, but this is the devil speaking to you. don’t do it. he is Floppy and he is Pathetic and he Does Not Want Responsibility In Any Form, and this is categorically a hundred times funnier as a character option than dadsuma or adminsuma.
like. things you can do with this:
- if there’s an Actual Problem, X being the last to know. if it’s an argument/fighting thing, people go to etho. if it needs weird, dubiously-wise arbitration, joe. if the game is breaking, doc. etc. etc. but xisuma is like absolutely bottom of the “to call” list and therefore has no idea what’s going on ever
- just absolutely no fear of him whatsoever. X is like “don’t do that or i’ll kick you” and everyone’s like “lmao ok”
- everyone being fiercely tender and protective over him, partly because they appreciate him doing all the admin shit he has to do despite not really being typical Admin Material, but also because everyone else violently does not want to have to be the new admin
- xisuma, when faced with an Admin Problem that requires Admin Solutions, being just absolutely, phenomenally miserable. shaken piece of laminate. cat that had an unexpected bath. dog who heard the word “vets”. just sad and lightly pathetic the whole time. he can do the admin stuff, sure, but he’ll be :( about it the whole time.
- crossovers (mcc, dream smp, whatever) where someone’s like “what would your admin say/do?” as some kind of argument-ender, and the hermits collectively look at one another and shrug and go “…’not my problem’, probably?”
- also crossovers where someone’s like “you need to assert dominance or one of them will try and take over” and xisuma’s like “…are you aware how much paperwork this server requires. absolutely no one else is going to do that. none of them have legible handwriting. i don’t even think half of them have a signature. at least three of them can’t read. absolutely no one wants to run this server, me included”
tl;dr more woeful, beleagured, mildly pathetic xisuma in fic pls. he warms my cold dead heart. i want to put a towel in the tumble dryer to warm it up and then wrap it around him gently.
Ocassionally, they get other admins trying to muscle in and take over the server via insidious mutiny-mongering, saying things like, “Wouldn’t it be better if you had a real admin in charge? Someone who actually knows what they’re doing and not that pathetic excuse for a leader?”
No, in fact, the hermits would not like that. This server thrives on chaos, and Xisuma is the only admin in existence who is perfectly happy to wash his hands of whatever wars or pranks or other nonsense is going on. As long as the server isn’t breaking, he does not care, he does not see it.
Xisuma has no idea how many attempted coups and invasions and server hacks the hermits have ended before they began. The hermits have all collectively decided it’s better that he never knows.
exactly
honestly i get the impulse to make xisuma the server dad or the Big Scary Admin, but this is the devil speaking to you. don’t do it. he is Floppy and he is Pathetic and he Does Not Want Responsibility In Any Form, and this is categorically a hundred times funnier as a character option than dadsuma or adminsuma.
like. things you can do with this:
- if there’s an Actual Problem, X being the last to know. if it’s an argument/fighting thing, people go to etho. if it needs weird, dubiously-wise arbitration, joe. if the game is breaking, doc. etc. etc. but xisuma is like absolutely bottom of the “to call” list and therefore has no idea what’s going on ever
- just absolutely no fear of him whatsoever. X is like “don’t do that or i’ll kick you” and everyone’s like “lmao ok”
- everyone being fiercely tender and protective over him, partly because they appreciate him doing all the admin shit he has to do despite not really being typical Admin Material, but also because everyone else violently does not want to have to be the new admin
- xisuma, when faced with an Admin Problem that requires Admin Solutions, being just absolutely, phenomenally miserable. shaken piece of laminate. cat that had an unexpected bath. dog who heard the word “vets”. just sad and lightly pathetic the whole time. he can do the admin stuff, sure, but he’ll be :( about it the whole time.
- crossovers (mcc, dream smp, whatever) where someone’s like “what would your admin say/do?” as some kind of argument-ender, and the hermits collectively look at one another and shrug and go “…’not my problem’, probably?”
- also crossovers where someone’s like “you need to assert dominance or one of them will try and take over” and xisuma’s like “…are you aware how much paperwork this server requires. absolutely no one else is going to do that. none of them have legible handwriting. i don’t even think half of them have a signature. at least three of them can’t read. absolutely no one wants to run this server, me included”
tl;dr more woeful, beleagured, mildly pathetic xisuma in fic pls. he warms my cold dead heart. i want to put a towel in the tumble dryer to warm it up and then wrap it around him gently.
