Description: REQUEST! Hopper!Reader where the reader is having a hard time mentally after Hopper “dies” and Steve wants the reader to move in with him so he can watch after her and take care of her. Takes place shortly after season 3!
Warnings: Grief, Depression.
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The shower was scolding hot, It was almost uncomfortable, almost. It felt nice, that was they key; you felt something, it had been so long since you had felt something. It had only been two months since your dad died, two months that had felt like a lifetime. It had been about A month and a half since El left, you knew she would be better off with Joyce and the Byer kids than with you in this cabin.
This cabin that was a constant reminder of everything your dad did, the shotgun laying by the door, the cereal still in the cupboard that he liked. That stupid shirt he wore when he went to meet Joyce and came home drunk with stains all over the shirt was still in his laundry hamper untouched. Moving anything felt permanent, it felt like you were invading his privacy going through anything so you left it. Everything was how it was the last day he was here besides the hole in the roof. Steve had helped you figure out how to patch it up so the cabin was still able to be your home. He knew how important it was for you to stay here, he knew how much this ratty old cabin meant to you and to the memory of him.
Steve had been so good to you since you found out, he stayed with you for almost a month straight after he died. He had to stop when he got the job at the video store. It was too long of a drive for him to make and you could tell he was exhausted. He was exhausted because of you.You woke up every night screaming the memories of the mind flayer and the mall and reliving the conversation sigh joyce in your head proved to be a nightmare you’d never escape.
“I’m so sorry,” That was all joyce had to say, that was the only words she uttered and you knew, “He’s gone.” She tells you embracing you in a hug. You couldn’t move, it was as if your entire body had shut down, you couldn’t move your arms to hug her back, you couldn’t move your feet to get out of the middle of the hectic scene, you couldn’t cry.
It took you a long time to cry, and when you did it felt like it didn’t stop for days. Steve was worried sick your face had gotten visually thinner, the bags under your eyes were dark so he knew you weren’t sleeping. “Baby,” Steve says, coming over to you. You were sitting on the couch with the TV off in front of you, you were just staring into the abyss. “What are you doing?” He asks you.
“He died.” You say aloud for the first time. You look at Steve, the tears beginning to stream down your face. “He just died, he went down to that Russian base and died. He left me, El. He left us alone.” You say.
Steve just listened knowing there were no comforting words that could solace you. He simply takes his hand resting it on your thigh rubbing circles in it, the touch being just enough comfort.
“El is gone,” You say just processing everything aloud. “I’m all alone,” You say finally letting everything out. Every tear from the past month catching up with you at one time. Steve moves closer, his arms fully embracing you, your head resting on his chest as you just cry continuously. It was starting to become hard to breath, You ’re taking gasps of breaths at this point.
“Breath,” Steve tells you. “Watch me,” He says, pulling you from his chest. “Watch,” He says, getting you to make eye contact with him. He begins to take slow breaths, his chest rising and falling at an abnormally slow rate. “Come on,” He says. “Big breath in,” His chest rises and you follow his motions, “And out,” He says letting it out. “Good, Good,” He says as you continue doing it with him.
No matter how hard you try to push him away he continuously showed up, bringing dinner when you found yourself skipping a meal, coming over staying the night when you were plagued with the horrible nightmares.
Today was a particularly bad day. It was your birthday. Your first birthday without him, the first of many. You woke up in the empty cabin and realized today would be how you lived life from now on without your dad, without El. She had only been in your lives for a few years at this point but she felt like family; she seemingly fit into the lives of you and Hopper quite easier than one would expect. You liked having a sister, loved it in fact.
So today when you woke up it felt like there was a block against your chest so you stripped yourself of your clothes plagued in sweat from the nightmare you had last night and turn the hottest shower possible.
You heard the door open to the house, you knew it was Steve you had given him a key many months back. You hadn’t seen him much this week he was working a bunch and you were taking a leave from work, not much motivation to go back at all if you were being honest. The worst part about grief is being the one still dwelling on it, after a while everyone goes back to normal. The friends and family friends who know weep for the first few months but then the calls slowly stop, the people quit trying to call, and everyone goes back to work, their lives as on track as the day before it happened. Everyone but you.
“Y/N?” You hear Steve call out knocking on the door.
You run your hands over your face at the thought of interacting with him. He was going to try and cheer you up and today there wasn’t going to be any of that. “Be out in a minute!” You call out to him.
Steve stood along the other side of the door waiting for a moment. The flowers in his hand hung down by his side, the present he had gotten in the other hand. Once he heard the water stop he walked away from the door over to the table in the kitchen laying down the presents he had got for her.
He looked around and decided to clean up, Y/N was normally a neat person but since Hopper she seemingly didn’t care about messes. He opened the fridge to clean out any rotten food when he noticed the dinners in the fridge still, he had gone to the grocery store for her last week and bought them and there was no sign of her cooking anything in the cabin. It was only a moment later he heard the door open from the bathroom, Y/N walked out her hair wet an old t-shirt on and one of Hopper’s button downs.
“Happy Birthday!” He says joyfully.
You give him the weakest smile and if it bothered him he didn’t say anything. “Thank you,” You say as he walks forward, his hands cupping your cheeks as he leans down, giving you a kiss. He pulls away, staring down at you with one hand still touching your cheek. “You didn’t have to do that,” You tell him, walking over to the flowers on the table, “I’ll just end up killing them anyway.” You say aware of how much of a bitch you sounded. The look on his face made you feel bad, “I’ll try not to though.” You try to keep him hopeful.
“I’m off the whole weekend, I’m at your disposal!” He says coming over to you, his arm wrapping around your shoulder, “What do you want to do today?” He asks you.
You shrug your shoulders, “Nothing,” You tell him truthfully.
“Come on we could go to the park, or the drive in they just built?” He asks, “There’s only a few weekends left before they close down for the fall.” He says to you.
“I just don’t feel like going out,” You tell him truthfully. “We could stay in?” You ask him.
“I think we should go out,” He says. You could feel the tension between you building a mile a minute. Steve takes his arm off of you and you take a step back. “The kids they want to see you too,” He tells you. “They haven’t seen you since-“ He begins to say.
“The funeral.” You say aware of the last time you saw them. You missed them, you did but in a way seeing them you knew they would be trying to cheer you up and you couldn’t. Not today. “I just don’t want to, It’s my birthday I just wanna stay in okay?”
You walk over to the couch sitting down on it pulling a pillow over your stomach clutching it. Steve doesn’t come over for a moment but when he does he doesn’t sit down he stands in front of you his arms crossed jaw clenched. “Y/N,” He says sincerely. “I know today is hard, but I think getting out of this cabin will help.” He tells you.
You sit with his words for a moment trying to really take it in. “You don’t know,” You blurt out.
“You don’t know how hard today is,” You tell him. “You don’t, you do not know Steve.” You say your voice begins to shake. “You have two parents who are alive, alive and well. They will be there for your birthday this year.” You say staring at nothing in front of you. “They’ll be there for your wedding, for when you have kids of your own, You have all the time left with them, more time than I will ever get.” You pause. “So if on one birthday, the first one without them doesn’t want to go out and pretend I’m happy then I shouldn’t have to.” You tell him.
Steve couldn’t help but look at Y/N bewildered. He knew she was upset; he knew she was projecting her emotions out on him. But living like this? In her mental hell? itwas ruining her life, “It’s not just this damn birthday!” Steve yelled finally breaking you out of your stone cold state. “You haven’t left this damn cabin in months! Months!” He yells gesturing around the place. “You are living in the middle of nowhere secluded away from everyone!”
“So we’re going back to that now?” You ask him. It was only a week ago he had mentioned looking for apartments, and he wanted you to come with him. “So what if I want to live here? This is my home!”
Steve lets out a laugh of disbelief, “This isn’t a home for you anymore Y/N, it’s a damn personal prison.” He tells you. “You are alone out here, alone! You think I don’t notice but I know you haven’t been eating.” He says starting to list things off on his fingers, “This place is a mess because you don’t want to move anything he touched,” He says adding another finger on his hand. “And I know you’ve still been having those nightmares.”He tells you.
“How did you know that?” You ask him.
Steve just stares at you, his expression relaxed but unreadable, “I didn’t.” You told Steve it was okay to stop staying with you when he started working at the video store. You knew how exhausted he always was and he wouldn’t stop staying with you unless he thought the nightmares stopped. “You told me they stopped.”
“You-You tricked me!” You yell at him standing up from the couch so you were facing him. “That’s bullish-“ You being but he cuts you off.
“Bullshit?” He asks. “If tricking you is the only way I can get you to tell me stuff anymore then we have a problem!” He says running both his hands through his hair. “I’m here for you, I’ve been here for months! You keep pushing me away!” He yells.
It was a sight you were shocked to see, Steve had tears forming in his eyes. He looked at you and you felt truly sorry for what you were putting him through. You knew that you were making life hard for him and there was only one way to get him to leave. “Because I’m tired Steve! I’m so goddamn tired of everyone babying me!” You yell at him.
“Then stop acting like it!” He yells back his voice level matching yours. “Start eating! start taking care of yourself! Start being honest with me!” The tears were streaming down his face. “I’m here but your pushing me away, and I’m almost at the edge Y/N.” He tells you and you look up shocked.
You take a deep breath, “Then leave,” You tell him. Steve looked shocked by what you had said, you were shocked yourself but you couldn’t show it. Steve was the last person you had, did you really want him to leave?
“What?” Steve asked, his voice sounding hurt. You could tell he was getting choked up by what you had said.
“I said leave then,” You tell him your voice is cold and detached. “Leave Steve,” You tell him.
Steve usually wasn’t one to be at loss for words but right now hearing everything you had said he felt as if he couldn’t speak. He just stares at you and you don’t make eye contact, if you did you would change your mind. But this was for him.
You were miserable, you were depressed. You felt completely detached from the world and there was no sense in dragging him down with you. “Please,” You say trying to not cry but you knew it was coming, the second he left you would break. You couldn’t now, he would stay if you did.
Steve doesn’t say anything to you he just walks forward and places a kiss on your forehead and pulls away you close your eyes and take a deep breath. Steve has nothing to say so the wood on the floor creaks under him as he walks to the door opening it. It doesn’t close for a second and you were standing in the same spot you were not moving an inch. A moment later the door closed.
A few moments after that you heard his car start and you heard the sound of the tires against the gravel as he backed out.
You felt like you were there for hours just standing there numb to everything. You had done it, you had finally pushed away the last person who bothered to take care of you away. And you only had yourself to blame.
The table was first, Every content of it on the ground in a matter of moments. Then you went to the kitchen throwing everything and anything you could to the floor sobbing in the process. When everything in the kitchen was on the ground you turned around ready for the next thing, there it was.
You walk over to the door, your hand hovering over the doorknob as you touch the cold metal, you turn the door knob while walking in. The scent of your dad’s room hits you like a ton of bricks and you walk on the floor creaking under your feet. It took a moment for you to adjust and when you did a sob fell from your lips. You walk over to his dresser opening it seeing all his shirts thrown in messily. You take your hands grabbing them, throwing them on the floor, you keep going one drawer after another until all the contents of the dresser are on the ground. You were surrounded by his clothes now and gosh you were tired. You were so damn tired, you pushed yourself up from the floor falling onto his bed. You laid there crying into the pillow clutching it as if it was him like it was the last hug you were ever going to give him and finally tried to rest.
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It was late, kind of late but not really. It was seven at night, it had been hours since Steve had left her, he just left her there. He knew she was hurting, he knew how bad it was for her and he left her. He felt stupid, felt like a failure not being able to help her.
He went to work, to Robin to talk to her and she talked some sense into her. “You should go back, don’t let things end like that.” She tells him. He knew she was right after all him and Y/N had been through he had to go back.
So at seven he got in the car and drove back to the cabin. He pulled in the driveway once again as he did earlier in the day turning his car and waking to the front door. It was open so he walked in, “Y/N?” He called out.
When he walked in the place wasn’t as he had last seen it. The kitchen was clean, dishes no longer piled in the sink with molded food. There was a candle on the table in the living room. Steve walked in the house further, “Y/N?” He walks to her door knocking on it not getting a reply. He carefully opened it up but was surprised that he didn’t find her. Her bed was made, he could see the floor again and she had organized her closet.
There was a loud crashing noise from outside that caught his attention. He walked over to the window moving her curtain peeking out, he saw the door to the shed open. He turned around out of her room walking out toward the shed, “Y/N?” He calls when he gets close enough.
“Steve?” He hears her voice call out. It had only been a few hours but he had missed it.
“Can you come help me?” You ask him trying to grab another piece of wood. When she hears the door creek open more she looks up seeing him.
He had come back.
“Can you take some of this wood?” You ask him. He steps forward taking the heavy load of wood in your hands from you. “Can you take it inside? I’ll be there in a moment.” You say turning away from him trying to find the lighter fluid.
Steve did as you said, taking the wood inside, once you found the lighter fluid hidden in the shelf behind a saw you went back to the house. When you came in Steve had set the pieces of wood down by the fireplace. He was kneeling in front of it and when he heard the door shut he looked up seeing you.
You cough trying to break the silence, “You came back,” You kneel down beside him throwing the pieces of wood he had brought into the fireplace.
“Of course I did,” He says as if it was a given.
“I was hoping you would,” You admit and he glances to you not expecting your response.
“You did?”
“Yeah,” You say, lighting the match and throwing it in the fireplace. You take the cast iron from beside. you move the wood around hoping something would catch. “I figured you would but I didn’t know-“ It was true you didn’t know if he would come back.
“I hated leaving things that way,” He admits.
“Me too,” You tell him. You finally get a good fire started and you stand up brushing your hands against the denim jeans you were wearing. Steve stands up with you but keeps his distance. “Can we sit?” You ask him and Steve nods at both of you walking to the couch.
You both take a seat, you hated that Steve had sat so much further away than usual. “Just let me talk okay?” You say and he nods not saying no anything. “It’s no secret I am having a hard time.” You pause taking a deep breath. “I miss my dad, I miss El. It was two months ago that life seemed somewhat normal and now It’s completely different.” You knew your eyes were getting watery the more you talked. Steve reached over loosely grabbing your hand in a comforting manner.
“When you left I destroyed the house, completely destroyed it.” You tell him and you could tell by the look on his face he felt terrible leaving you. “And then I fell asleep and I had this dream. It wasn’t a nightmare,” You pause. “It was of you and me, we were I don’t know somewhere and we were happy. We had a kid.” You tell him. “Don’t freak out,” You say laughing through the tears.
He laughs too, “Not freaking out.”
“I woke up and packed all my dads stuff up into boxes. I’m not ready to get rid of them but they’re packed up with the rest of his stuff in his room.” You tell him and he looked surprised. “I’ve been horrible to you, You’ve only tried to help me and all I’ve done is push you away.” you admit to him. “And I’m so sorry for that.” At that moment it was too much and you let a sob slip from your lips, Steve moved closer on the couch embracing your in his arms.
It took a moment but you gathered yourself together pulling away from him, “I’m fine,” You say using your sleeve to wipe the tears. “I don’t want to be alone anymore, I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” you tell him and he stares at you with the utmost sympathy.
“You don’t have to,” he says, reaching up and caressing your cheek. You bring your hand up meeting his on your cheek, “I’m not going anywhere.” He tells you.
You smiled through the tears at him, “I need to get out of this…this depression.” You say finally saying it aloud to someone. “So if you want to try this living together…I will.” You tell him. Before he could say anything you continue to ramble on, “If you don’t want to that’s fine, I said horrible things to you and I’m so so-“
“No no,” Steve says, ushering you quiet. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to go out, it’s your birthday.” He says. “I want to move in together, we can live here if you want for a bit or we can start looking at apartments or houses-“ He explains.
“I don’t care, I just want to come home to you.” You tell him. “I’m gonna need help and some days that won’t be easy.” You knew of all the things coming up your first Christmas without him, thanksgiving. There were a lot more firsts you were gonna experience.
“I’m gonna help you,” He says. “Because I love you and I want you to be as happy as you can be even with them gone. It’s my job to keep you taken care of now, I owe it to Hopper.” He says. “Even if he didn’t like me.” He says and you take your hand hitting him playfully.
“He was warming up to you!” You laugh.
“Yeah, right,” He says sarcastically.
“He was!” You say shifting your body closer to him his arms wrapping around you. “He’d be happy you’re here with me, I know that. It means the world to him.” You sigh.
“Happy Birthday Y/N.”
*****NOTE: I wrote this on my phone so if there are any errors or anything I am sorry!
Also if you have any more request please send them! I love writing for Steve:) Let me know if you liked the story!
This show! All the kids were such good actors. They were the highlight of the series and I cannot wait for season 2! Here’s a quick 1 hour painting of Eleven from Stranger Things.
