#stuff to read

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headspace-hotel:

exskewesme:

headspace-hotel:

headspace-hotel:

Man, books in the 150-300 years old range are strange because you’re too far removed from the context in which the text was written to experience it as “intended,” but you’re close enough to it to recognize the shape or shadow of what you’re missing.

As I’ve said i’m reading the Count of Monte Cristo and the snobbish veneer age tends to give books (or at least their cover designs) doesn’t wipe out the fact that this is an exciting, over-the-top adventure story packed to the brim with “coolness.” I don’t really know how to describe it other than it’s a Lot.

The titular character is hyper-competent at everything and has a ton of “unrealistic” skills and abilities. He’s a sailor, he’s super smart and cunning, he’s a master of disguise, he can see in the dark because of his years in a dark dungeon, he knows science and lots of languages, powerful bandit lords are at his beck and call, and he’s dark and brooding and mysterious, full of pain and a desire for REVENGE…a couple other characters have a discussion where they call him a Byronic hero and debate whether or not he is a vampire.

So far we’ve been to Rome and Paris and met up with bandit lords and ocean smugglers, hung out with high society in France, pulled off a sick prison break, found secret treasure, done opium and hashish (both at once), flirted with loads of hot ladies, and seen all sorts of marvelous luxuries and trendy gadgets and excitement. For a book that is over 1,300 pages long, it sure is fast paced.

Apparently it was originally published as a serial, which explains all the cliffhangers.

Anyway, the Count of Monte Cristo is one of those “classics” that ended up there purely by being wildly popular and I sure can see why people loved it!

There is edgy anime character art of Edmond Dantés. I checked.

OP I would DEFINITELY recommend you check out the amazing blog of @cy-lindric who has done some very nice fanart of the count of Monte Cristo and several other classics of French literature that has the EXACT vibe you’re describing

Excellent

exophilia-interest757: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast:otherwindow:otheexophilia-interest757: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast:otherwindow:othe

exophilia-interest757:

dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:

This is how the golden age of piracy ended.

The first mermaid to get tattoos :)

“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”

“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.

“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”

“i know.”

x

“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”

her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.

“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.

“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.

x

“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”

“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”

she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.

x

“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.

“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”

she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.

“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”

x

her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”

the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.

“why not?” the mermaid asks.

“he’ll win,” the first mate says.

the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.

x

the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.

“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”

x

the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.

“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”

they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.

she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.

the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.

x

she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.

x

“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.

she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.

“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”

the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time.

“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.

“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.

“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”

“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”

“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”

“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”

x

the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.

“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.

the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.

“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”

“and now?”

“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”

the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817

That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!

Thought this was good one to start off Mermay.


Post link

Since we’re all stuck at home during this quarantine, and I want to plug my magazine!

Mental Realness Mag is a digital publication specifically for black femmes (of any gender identity) navigating mental health. We feature photography, poetry, prose, articles, etc. We’ve just recently published our fourth issue, and I would love if you guys could check it out. I’ve included some of the highlights below and a link to the magazine as well!

(We’re always looking for writers and visual media submissions as well!)

headspace-hotel:

dragonncat:

thepurplestduck:

:

headspace-hotel:

Thebest Wikipedia lists

List of inventors killed by their own inventions

List of scandals with the -gate suffix

List of noodles

List of hoaxes

List of pirates

Response to sneezing - that is, what you say after someone sneezes

List of places in the U.S. named after places elsewhere

List of songs about bicycles

List of American advertising characters (e.g. the geico gecko. There is also an article for breakfast cereal mascots specifically.)

List of unusual deaths

List of superlative trees - its TREE APPRECIATION TIME

Recursive islands and lakes

List of Crayola crayon colors

List of individual birds. There is SO much going on here.

List of deep-fried foods (aaaaaaa)

List of words that are their own antonyms

List of genres(of…everything)

List of onomatopoeias - READ THIS PLEASE

List of Noah’s Ark replicas

List of people who have been pied

List of voids - This is meant in the astronomy sense but I think the name is funny.

List of animal sounds

List of cryptids

List of prison escapes

List of discredited substances - there’s a LOT going on here

List of methods of capital punishment

List of wartime cross-dressers

List of extinct dog breeds. this topic contains some of my favorite obscure facts

List of songs considered to be the worst - there is also an article about the worst books and one about the worst movies, if you’re interested

List of facial hair styles

List of clowns

List of sexually active popes - I just think it’s funny that this is an article

List of reportedly haunted locations

List of animals with fraudulent diplomas

List of people who died on the toilet

List of English language metaphors

List of bad luck signs

the onomatopoeias

Ping Food (derogatory (possibly))

I wanted to add a list of fictional elements (and materials, isotopes, and subatomic particles) because I’d been meaning to find one, but then I found this monstrosity, the List of lists of lists, and I just had to add a few and then I thought to look in the tags to try to compile other people’s cool lists and then I was drawn back to The List so here is nearly three hours of wasted time in one nice neat list (wow, that doesn’t even sound like a word anymore):

List of stories set in a future now past

List of unexplained soundsfrom@hostilehospitalbeds

List of helicopter prison escapesfrom@unicorn-elvis

List of gairaigo and wasei-eigo terms (Japanese loanwords from western languages) from @passumbapper

List of common misconceptionsfrom@passumbapper

List of heavy metal genresfrom@time-and-water

Lists of renamed places for the confused time travelers and/or immortal beings here

List of extremes on Earth

List of disasters by cost

Lists of men. It’s funny as a concept but the further you scroll the more mundane it gets. It does start off strong though.

List of catgirls. Yes, really.

List of nicknames used by Donald Trump

List of most expensive domain names

List of frivolous political parties

List of satirical news websites

Thank you so much @dragonncat this is a great addition.

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