Me: I’m almost done this chapter! I just need the last line!
*one week passes*
Me:Finally, I have found the perfect ten (10) words to end this chapter!
So yeah, the final teensy weensy bit really kicked my ass for some reason.
What’s Different?
Chapter Summary: Cay wakes up from getting knocked out in Chapter 2 and we learn about his living situation with the Charmer siblings, Jack and Ev.
This is kind of a ~plotless~ chapter. It’s more focused on developing Cay’s side of the story, putting down a nice solid basis to build off of, etc.
Changed:
> I have this really bad habit of always forgetting what happens to the characters in the previous chapter and retaining that continuity. In this chapter, I totally forgot Cay had a bad nosebleed in the last chapter and now should have dried blood on his face and clothes. It’s a small thing, really, BUT I found theeeee perfect place to fit this piece of info into the chapter. There’s a moment where Cay and Jack are left alone while Ev goes to deal with something, and originally they’re just sitting there……awkwardly……..but now I changed it so Jack helps him clean the blood off his face during this time :^)
Added:
> I focused a lot on describing where Cay lives with the Charmers, something that was super lacking in the previous draft (probably because I couldn’t figure out how to explain it without it sounding boring lol). They live in this pair of connected space escape shuttles, one serving as their living quarters, one serving as a clinic that Jack runs. I added a lot more detail describing what the interior looks like, specifically the living room and the bathroom.
> This is actually an addition to a previouschapter, but it was a change that needed to be made so that something in thischapter would make sense. I added a part where Cay’s aepid (pterosaur) gets hurt trying to protect him from feral animals. How to make someone’s guilt complex worse 101.
> Generally, I just hinted more at Cay’s Tragique Past™. I haven’t talked much about this before, but basically his little brother died five years ago and he blames himself deeply for it :^( He was supposed to have died that day too, but he was instead rescued by Ev and nursed back to health by her and Jack, so…..add survivor’s guilt to his list of suffering.
> Also added more lore for worldbuilding! And that will be today’s excerpt.
The Stillness started with Skiara. She had been unjustly slain, her blood scattered across the sky, and as punishment to mankind, the world was to end. For six days it stood still, no sunrises, no sunsets, only a flat grey sky. Water springs turned dry, and crops withered away. The people prayed for forgiveness—they burned the last of their food as offerings, allowed themselves to starve, and only in this display of remorse did the gods take pity.
Cay closed his eyes and imagined the path of the dead. He imagined walking toward the horizon, where the red arc met the ground, and when he reached the end of the world, Skiara was there, hands outstretched as she welcomed him into the land of the dead. His parents stood in the distance, holding Jamie’s little hands, so far away they were blurred by the wind and stardust. Cay wanted to run to them, dive into their arms, but he couldn’t. He remembered the promise he had made to Jamie. I’ll protect you. I’ll keep you safe. He couldn’t bear the disappointment in his parents’ eyes, or the hatred in Jamie’s. I’m sorry, he would say. I’m so, so sorry, but no amount of remorse would change what happened.
So in the end, he only whispered, “Happy birthday, Jamie.”
The chapter will probably need another polish pass, but for now I’m gonna move back to Chapter 4, which I left in the middle of editing because I just could Not figure out how to go about it.
Chapter 5 marks the unofficial end of Act I. Instead of forging ahead to editing the rest of the book, I think I’ll make sure Act I is perfectly polished first, or else I’ll just be building the rest of the book off a flawed start, the very thing that ruined my writing process in draft 2.
C’est tout! It’s exciting to see this book coming together hehe.
