#the gentlemans guide to vice and virtue

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In which a lover goes into the earth, always and forever.

Words: 1001, Chapters: ¼, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Mon, 07 Feb 2022 11:55:46
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by

Percy gently passed a ladybird from finger to finger, “Monty…” He whispered, looking at his best friend, “Where do you think bugs go when they die?”
Monty scrunched up his nose, “How would I know? Probably heaven, like the rest of us.”
Percy thought for a moment, his dark eyes following the creature, “There must be a lot of bugs in heaven.” Earlier the two had attempted to save a family of butterflies from the torment of Richard Peele and the other boys. They were too late. Butterfly wings laid torn and scattered in the dirt. The poor creatures themselves trod on and dying.
The ladybird flew off, circling the boys before disappearing into the blinding sun.
“Maybe they’re in hell then.”

Words: 1888, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Mon, 31 Jan 2022 04:55:21
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by

I felt my entire body shake as his thumb ran against the scared grooves of my right cheek. I didn’t always like when he touched my scars. Some days any touch burned like fire.
But as his eyes followed his thumb, so adorably focused and reverent as he rested a quick kiss to the edge of my cheek bone, my mind couldn’t seem to come up with a single negative reaction.

Or: Monty and his complicated relationship with touch.

Words: 1606, Chapters: 1/5, Language: English

Series: Part 4 of The Montague Tales



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Fri, 28 Jan 2022 12:55:54
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by

The much-needed proposal of Monty and Percy

Really just two disasters getting engaged while a third disaster watches in support. Adrian is quite supportive.

Words: 2878, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Fri, 28 Jan 2022 03:05:13
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by

there are two boys, a man who wants to rule the known world, and a battle that could never have had any other outcome. the two of them are doomed from the start. nothing could ever be different.

Words: 1860, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Sun, 16 Jan 2022 12:55:42
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by

It’s Monty’s birthday. But no one seems to have remembered. That’s… fine.

(Or.. a fluffy one shot continuation of The College Student’s Guide to Sex and Stage Plays!)

Words: 3359, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Wed, 12 Jan 2022 03:55:22
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by,

I know logically that there is no good reason to cheat on your husband, no matter how insufferable he is or how much you despise each other. But my marriage to Richard wasn’t about love or commitment. I know that. He knows that so some extent. I don’t think he would be pleased, as he’s always been a little too possessive for my tastes, but he wouldn’t be devastated. In fact, he would probably jump at the chance to divorce me on such solid grounds.

I just have to decide if that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Percy breaks our kiss, smiling against my lips as he rubs the nape of my neck. I find myself leaning forward, chasing his mouth with mine. He laughs a little but indulges me with another kiss. His hand on my neck goes to my hair. Every touch is so gentle that I never want him to stop touching me. I want to be covered by him and his soft kisses.

As a last-ditch resort, Henry marries his childhood enemy-with-benefits Richard Peele. In need of a distraction from his tumultuous marriage, he joins a local Shakespeare production where he forms an unexpected, and risky, connection with a member of the orchestra.

Words: 4652, Chapters: 1/20, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Mon, 10 Jan 2022 19:55:26
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by

Some days I knew it would be fine. Most days I was sure Percy would take one step towards me, look at the cane, and walk out.

And wasn’t that what I had been trying to do? Let him leave on his own accord? Let him realise for himself that he’d made a mistake?

The thought left my chest clenching horribly.

OR: Monty and Percy’s reunion after Nobleman’s Guide, because I promised that if it wasn’t in the book that I’d write it myself.

Words: 3545, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 3 of The Montague Tales



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Mon, 03 Jan 2022 14:55:33
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by

“Because..” She walked over and took her seat again. “I was trying to show you that I want to be your friend because you’re unique. You’re wearing pearls when every lady here is wearing gemstones the size of their fist. You’re the first woman I’ve met who so clearly loves the fiddle. You’re totally gorgeous, but not with that flashy, momentary rouge-covered way. More the soft, timeless beauty. Ageless.” At that, Pris’s eyes widened and she looked down at her hands in her lap.

“You.. you think I’m beautiful?”

(A super self-indulgent lesbian Percy and Monty fic with an optimistic ending. Rated T for swearing and a lil smooch.)

Words: 2312, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Mon, 03 Jan 2022 00:55:35
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by

“Alright, line up at the door and actually push in your chairs this time, please.” They line up at the door and I open it distractedly, the first thing my eyes catch upon looking out at the hall in front of me being, of course, Mr. Newton. Also known as the bane of my entire existence.

aka percy and monty are elementary school teachers and also arch-nemeses. until they’re not.

Words: 5512, Chapters: 1/13, Language: English

Series: Part 3 of share your address



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Sun, 02 Jan 2022 00:55:51
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by

They steal a tree from a forest area that is owned by Richard Peele

Words: 888, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Mon, 27 Dec 2021 17:55:39
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by

Monty has done a lot of dumb things in his life. Asking a guy he just met to pretend to be his fiance for the purposes of scamming his father out of money? Yeah… that one is currently at the top of the list.

Words: 1183, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Mon, 27 Dec 2021 02:55:21
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by

“Someone seems to be enjoying themselves.”

Monty elbows Percy in the stomach and it takes a certain amount of coordination not to spill the glass of mulled wine that Monty’s just handed him down the front of his jacket, which only speaks to the fact that he has not had nearly as much of the stuff as Monty has.

Percy smiles at him nevertheless. The fact of the matter is that he is enjoying himself. Even if Monty did just ruin his jacket, he would still be enjoying himself. Because Monty is home from school for the holidays and they are here together at this Christmas party, getting drunk together, and it is just like old times. For this singular, glittering moment in time, he can forget about how terribly lonely it is while Monty is away at school and instead revel in the fact that he is here and that they are together again…

___________

AKA: The five times that Percy Newton regrets being hopelessly in love with the mess of a human that is Henry “Monty” Montague and the one time that Monty proves he’s worth the effort… Written for TGGTVAV Secret Santa Exchange 2021!

Words: 5591, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Sun, 26 Dec 2021 13:55:41
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by

Monty is a vampire and hasn’t spoken to anyone in his life since he was 18. He’s been quietly pursuing the life of a depressing 20-something bachelor. All he really needs to deal with is avoiding calls from his father’s business associates and getting to his shift at the bar on time.
So naturally, a wrench is thrown into the works when his childhood friend shows up out of the blue one night and conveniently happens to be on the opposing side of an idiotic supernatural turf war.

Words: 6070, Chapters: 2/12, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Sat, 25 Dec 2021 14:55:37
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by

No one remembers when the Crown and Cleaver became a threat. One day, they were unheard of, and the next day, they were on every superhero watchlist in the area.

–

AKA a super self-indulgent simhanna superhero au i managed to scrap together

Words: 2700, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of the superhero business is no place for a moral compass



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Fri, 24 Dec 2021 20:55:26
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by

Sim Aldajah is Jeanne Le Bray’s worst enemy. She’s arrogant and entitled. But when the two of them have to go away together for a joint assignment, they are forced to learn more about each other

Words: 3374, Chapters: ½, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Fri, 24 Dec 2021 14:55:42
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by

The farmer’s wife scoffs. “This is different! The king and queen have sent invitations to every eligible woman in the kingdom, and then some!”

Of course, that doesn’t apply to us. The king and queen have made it exceedingly clear that we aren’t welcome in court anymore. We never received invitations. Everyone will get to go but us. It makes me oddly homesick.

Felicity is unaffected and unimpressed. “Why would they do that?”

The farmer’s wife smiles conspiratorially. “They say the prince is in need of a bride. They’re running out of court women to pair him with so they’re giving him pick of any maiden he desires.” She studies me and Felicity appraisingly. “It could even be one of you.”

It’s a false hope. It’s impossible. There is no way Felicity and I would ever be invited to the ball. But my heart takes that hope and latches onto it, climbing up my throat. To see Percy again, to have a chance—however slim—at marrying him.

Words: 3264, Chapters: ¼, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Fri, 24 Dec 2021 13:55:53
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by

Monty finds a ghost. It’s not at all what he’s expecting.

Or: How two queer dumbasses fall in love from almost 300 years apart.

Words: 1525, Chapters: ¼, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Fri, 24 Dec 2021 12:55:51
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by

TGGTVAV Secret Santa is upon us!!

Monty and Percy go for a midnight drive. A song fic based on The Smiths song of the same title.

Words: 3033, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Fri, 24 Dec 2021 12:55:50
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by

It’s been three months after Adrian Montague got married with his wife, Louisa – and the two haven’t had a proper honeymoon yet. Stressed out and anxious, Adrian keeps on delaying his plans for it. Until an unexpected opportunity comes along.
Adrian and his older siblings Monty, who is also in need of a much delayed honeymoon, and Felicity, a professional doctor, embark on an adventure.
The mysteries they unravel in Como, Italy, might change their whole lives and shatter the beliefs they used to hold on to.
Especially when Dani, a young local, asks for their help for a quest all of their own.
Will the Montague Siblings and their friends be able to catch the infamous Lariosaurus, or are the hidden mysteries of the waters best left unknown?

Words: 1267, Chapters: 1/28, Language: English



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Hello Darling@ao3feed-tggtvav
Thu, 23 Dec 2021 14:55:38
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