#theatre rp meme

BLACK FRIDAY MUSICAL RP MEME

taken from the starkid horror comedy musical black friday (2020). change pronouns/wording as necessary. tw for swearing and mentions of violence and cults

• ‘ you know how i feel about that musical commercial. i don’t like it. ‘
• ‘ god, what even is a cabbage patch kid? it’s like you’re cutting into a head of lettuce and ‘oh shit, a baby!’ it’s like i wanteda salad, but now i have a child. ‘
• ‘ i do not get flashbacks. i remember bad things vividly. ‘
• ‘ he still lights up a room. it’s just less frequently that you catch him in bloom. ‘
  
• ‘ yeah, well, if i don’t support my drinking habit, who will? ‘
• ‘ oh great, now we gotta talk to the imaginary spider from outer space. ‘
• ‘ i’d make a great dad, i’m just saying. ‘
• ‘ i’d say you did your best, but i’m not a liar. ‘
  
• ‘ you know full well why you’re not allowed inside. because you’re not to step within 1,000 feet of a cinnabon, ____. no, i don’t believe that you just want to smell them. ‘
• ‘ that’s called a bribe and it’s illegal! … or it should be. ‘
  
• ‘ and that’s why you disgust me. not because you’re so naive, because you’re so weak. ‘
• ‘ oh my god, it’s a trainwreck. ‘
• ‘ i hope you have your finances in order. get ready for audits, audits up your ears audits in your yinyang, audits out your wazoo! ‘
• ‘ sorry, pal, the price just went up! supply and demand is a wonderful thing! ‘
• ‘  you never should settle for the lifetime that is handed to you. ‘
• ‘ stay back, whoever you are, i have pepper spray, and i use it more than you could ever imagine. ‘
• ‘ i want what everybody wants, to be loved. is that a crime? ‘
• ‘ we’re a fairly small team, just me and a few of my peeps. ‘
• ‘ there are monsters and there are men. ‘
• ‘ what the fuck am i watching? ‘
• ‘  after that, i didn’t go to any more parties. ‘
• ‘ he chased me out of the house and into the woods. he was the one who brought the knife. ‘
  
• ‘ so, ___, you’ve got to forgive yourself. ‘cause if you don’t, how’s anyone ever gonna forgive me? ‘
• ‘ you and i were meant to be something more than a faded memory. ‘
  
• ‘ you don’t look the same at all as i remember. ‘
• ‘ i dislike that word, ____, cult. no, it’s a new and exciting religion that i started. ‘
• ‘ i’ve met god, he had nothing nice to say about you. ‘
• ‘ no, no, guys, while i don’t want you to think for yourselves, i still want you to know what i mean when i say my evil shit, 'kay? ‘
• ‘ aw, don’t worry, kid, we don’t get tricked. we’re grownups. ‘
• ‘ the poorer get poorer, and the rich, well, they just get richer. ‘
• ‘ no, that’s not true, i can’t be evil. i’m a status quo democrat! ‘
• ‘ you’re not dead yet. ‘
• ‘ i’ve had shitty day, and i’d appreciate it if you got that goddamn gun outta my face. ‘
• ‘ they’re all into fortnite, dude. ‘
• ‘ i mean, you’re, like, 40, you probably think your life is over! ‘
• ‘ i failed you once, but i won’t fail again. ‘ 
• ‘ you think this is going to protect you, a magic hat? that’s ridiculous, only dolls are magic! ‘
• ‘ look at you, you’re paralyzed with fear! ‘
• ‘ no. i’m just lining up my shot. ‘
• ‘ you know, i have this kooky, reclusive biology professor. ‘
• ‘ wear a watch. ‘
• ‘ i feel like if we can survive today, we can survive anything. ‘