#things will get easier

@inukag-week​​

Ooh Child by MLCK

June 16th, 2022 - Parenting

Summary: Inuyasha has parenting skills and while he’s no expert, it confuses the shit out of his friends.

​Sighing shakily, Inuyasha stared down at the small nakedterrified girl as he sheathed his sword. Those two watery blue eyes staring up at him with such relief. Hopefully that meant she knew him but given that it’d taken an agonizing few hours to track the asshole who kidnapped her down and when he found her she was this fucking thing so Inuyasha didn’t have high expectations. Or anyexpectations actually. Children were notoriously unpredictable and stupid. Magically engineered children that were once adults Inuyasha imagined were moreso.

Still, despite the unpredictableness and terror inherent in the situation, Inuyasha had to admit that this child was the cutest one he’d ever seen. With that admission, another darker and infinitely more painful thought followed. That of a small little girl with his face, Kagome’s coloring…

Maybe even some dog ears. Or not. 

Biting his lip, Inuyasha pushed that dream away, cleared his throat and got down to business. There was a frightened child here who needed him to protect her.

​​​ ​
“Hey,” he started softly as he knelt down to get on her eye level, “Do you know who I am?”

A slow head shake as tiny fingers wormed their way into her mouth. Despite his heart hurting, Inuyasha smiled with his lips tightly closed and tried to look reassuring. It would probably be best if he hid his fangs for the moment. He was sure the whole situation was confusing and scary enough as it was.

“I want my mommy,” the tiny Kagome mumbled miserably - big fat tears welling in her eyes, “I wanna go home.”

Sighing, Inuyasha momentarily had a flashback to when he was small and alone just after his mother died. Standing there confused and lost when he was thrown out of the only home he’d ever know without explanation or warning. Yes, he was a little older but not by much. Nine or ten at most. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out how someone could look at such a miserable tiny face and feel anything other pity. Want to do anything other than be kind. 

Cringing, Inuyasha then felt rather guilty. He knew how. Kids were annoying and pushed boundaries Kids were loud and messy and time consuming and stupid and meanas hell. They didn’t listen. They were constantly putting themselves in danger. Had no concept of mercy or empathy. Selfish cruel little bastards who tried to get away with anythingthey could and seemed to enjoyganging up on others. Above allthings brats were a liability and a burden he absolutely…couldn’t afford. One of many. 

Despite their downsides, kids were, well, kidsand they deservedto be kids.  And yet he was anything butkind to Shippo. Beat the kid on the regular and didn’t exactly do much to make him feel safe. He needed to do better. In somany ways. It was a wonder why anyone kept him around. If someone new came in acting like he’d been, he’d personally kick them to the curb. His continued inclusion in the group was a testament to his friends’ character and capacity for love.

“I know. I’ll take you to her,” Inuyasha offered quietly as he held his hands out, “Can I hold you?”

The little nod tugged at his heartstrings and he sighed when her little pudgy arms reached out. Scooping her up, Inuyasha balanced her on his hip and waited for the others to finally show up. Basic training in childcare he might’ve been given but, to be honest, his seven or eight year old self hadn’t exactly been the best student for those lessons that weren’t really age appropriate. Those lessons had never made sense to him anyway and most of it had gone right over his head but he’d played along because it seemed to make his mother happy. She’d probably wanted a girl and got saddled with him instead so she made do. Swaddling dolls and changing their fake diapers. Making her vile medicine to spoon feed to a doll who couldn’t even take it. Taught him how to cook and, once he ‘mastered’ that then how to prepare food so the fake ass doll baby didn’t choke. It had been a humiliatingandcringeworthy tradition but it only lasted a few years because, well, mother died.

He wished he would’ve been less of a little shit about things like that. Towards the end, when he’d act out, she cry and looking back the fact he made her cry so often made him nostalgically cringe. Any woman crying still made him cringe and feel a little sick. Was it because the last thing he remembered of Mother was her crying? Maybebut…but…

But, come on now, in all fairness, there hadn’t been a point to learning things he’d never use given the inevitable trajectory of his life. Bad things were coming. Everyone had made that fact very, very clear. Half-demons didn’t get families or babies or anything that would have made that knowledge useful. Well, okay, except now but who in their right mind would think a fifteen year old girl would magically become a baby?

Regardless, even with his limited knowledge on the matter, Inuyasha still felt ill equipped to handle a toddler on his own and even though Sango wasn’t a mother, she was indeed a female which, in his mind, meant she’d inherently know what to do.  

A little chunky cheek suddenly pressed against his shoulder and before he could catch himself, Inuyasha tilted his head so his chin rested atop her hair. Hopefully this could be undone soon so he didn’t have to explain to Kagome’s mother why her fifteen year old daughter had somehow gotten impossibly younger. Injured he could explain. Shit, even death he could probably explain. But this? He didn’t even know where to begin. ‘I found her like this’ was a piss poor explanation and the only one he could really give.

Tiny fingers began combing absently playing with his hair and Inuyasha hummed affectionately before he could stop himself. It struck him as odd how natural this unnatural situation felt. How natural it felt holding a tiny life in his arms. How his normal level of protectiveness felt exponentially fiercer. How warm and soothing it was. Maybe kids weren’t allbad.

“Where Mommy go?” Kagome suddenly asked - her voice concerned and small. 

“She’s back home,” Inuyasha soothed as he began to absently sway, “We’ve gotta wait for our friends, okay, and then I’ll take you to her.”

Another tiny nod and Inuyasha felt his heart burst. Which was a problem. A huge problem. Since when did he want kids? 

“You’re okay,” Inuyasha hummed wearily as he continued swaying and looking around the sky for some sign that those idiots were actually on their way, “It’s all gunna be just fine. You’ll see.”

Groaning softly when that earned him another adorable nod, Inuyasha buried his nose in her ebony locks and closed his eyes. Even when she was tiny and helpless, Kagome still had a way of calming him down and helping him focus.  Besides, his life hadn’t changed too much with this hopefully temporary development. His job was still to protect and care for her after all. Only difference was that she was a baby right now and usually she was a grown ass woman. 

Humming, Inuyasha raised his hand to press against her back and gave her little body a light squeeze. An underhanded part of his mind began to drift towards most dangerous territory. Impossible dreams of what his future could theoretically be, you know, if Kagome didn’t leave and a whole slew of other things that would need to happen. But she didn’t want that. Their kisses went nowhere. Him saying he needed her didn’t change anything. And she’d made it clear she was going back once the jewel was complete. Even if she had caught feelings, his existence was too messy. He’d made too many mistakes. There was the whole Kikyo debacle he didn’t understand and couldn’t explain even if he wanted to. 

But for this brief, his mind could pretend that things were different and harsh truths didn’t exist.  Almost like she was picking up on his upset, a tiny jaw trembled and sniffles began. 

“Shhh. No crying. Brave girls don’t cry,” Inuyasha soothed softly as his sensitive ears picked up the sounds of their friends, “And you’re my brave girl, huh? So brave. So good.”

This did nothingto quell the tiny miserable whimpers. Inuyasha sighed.

“You’re okay. I promise I won’t let anything like this happen again,” the frazzled half-demon whispered affectionately as he pressed his lips against her tiny temple and tried to impart how sincere he was being, “I’m righthere. You don’t everneed to be scared. I’m going to get you back to your mommy and…and it’ll be good. You’ll see. It’s going to all be okay.”

That last part was more for him than for her. While he didfully intend on bringing her back to the modern era, if - for whateverreason - that wasn’t possible he was already coming up with a contingency plan. True, it would be weirdandheartbreakingsince he had hoped for a different long term future with the miko but he could figure out how to raise a child and not fuck them up too badly. He was fully capable - in theory - of being a father and it definitely helped that he did love her unconditionally already. Sure, it was a different typeof love but that…that couldchange. He could overcome that mental block. He could. And he knew somethings. Had it in him to be gentle and patient and kind. But hopefully none of that would be an issue because…because…

Theyhadto change her back. He was going to lose his damn mind if they couldn’t. It’d be bad. That’s all he could say about that.

Pressing his lips against her temple once more, Inuyasha let out a weary sigh before straightening up and composing himself just in time for their friends to arrive. 

Definitely. They could definitelychange her back.

“Look. See?” Inuyasha offered gently - pointing and trying to coax the tiny Kagome into looking as Kilala landed an arguably weirddistance away, “There they are. Those are our friends. They’re reallynice. You’ll like them.”

As Kagome buried her face and her tiny fists tightly gripped his firerat in lieu of complying, Inuyasha took a steadying breath and waited for their friends to approach. Right now he just needed to stay calm and breathe. Explain what happened in a steady even tone. Something which he was fullycapable of doing. Totally capable of handling this situation with dignity and grace.

“Oh no,” Sango breathed - still maintaining her distance but seeming to realize what had occurred, “How is this possible?”

“I found her like this,” Inuyasha began slowly - one clawed hand gently stroking the little girl’s head and offering the tiny baby a reassuring smile, “But she’s nothurt. You’re okay, aren’t you?”

While tiny Kagome nodded, the monk, slayer and kit exchanged a concerned look.

“Well why don’tItake her?” Sango offered awkwardly after a long moment - approaching with her hands outstretched and a kind smile, “I lovebabies and I’m sure you’re not exactly comfortable with…”

Despite how that exactidea had crossed his mind mere minutes before, a possessive growl escaped him as he clutched the toddler protectively and took an instinctive step back. Sango froze. Miroku literally startled. Shippo’s jaw dropped. Worst of all, Kagome let out a pathetic whimper before bursting into tears. 

And more shockingly still, Inuyasha immediately went into a very parental comforting mode while visibly cursing himself for losing control. 

“Hey.Hey. I’m sorry,” he breathed as he moved to cradle Kagome against his chest and began swaying lightly, “I’m sorry. It’s okay baby. You’re okay.”

Slowly looking over her shoulder, Sango seemingly tried to confirm that she hadn’t lost her mind and when the monk nodded once in disbelief, she turned back.

“You can, um, keep her until we get her home. That’s fine,” the uneasy slayer offered and petting the toddler’s hair, Inuyasha glanced up to give his friend a withering glare.

“What did you expect me to do, huh? Leaveher here?” Inuyasha huffed as he continued to sway and comfort the tiny baby in his arms, “Give me some credit. I’d never do that.”

It was shocking that Inuyasha was handling the situation so well. Mumbling little sweet reassurances, cuddling her close and swaying in a smooth even rhythm. Soon, Kagome’s cries became whimpers and then she was snuggling up - her tiny fists clutching the fire rat like a lifeline. 

And then, once he seemed sure that Kagome was calm enough, the half-demon let out a controlled breath and met the slayer’s shell shocked gaze.

“She needs clothes. And diapers. Whatever we have will have to do. She can’t keep running around naked,” he pointed out in a calm, non-accusatory tone, “I’d like if we got some toys to keep her busy too but-”

“I-I can play with her,” Shippo offered hesitantly and Inuyasha nodded once in approval - looking at the little boy with what his friends dared to think was affection. After that uncomfortablelook, Inuyasha whispered something to Kagome who nodded. Peeling the Velcro baby off and setting her down, Inuyasha gave a light yet reassuring push on her back and after a single look towards her makeshift father figure, she stumbled forward towards Shippo who immediatelystarted amusing her.

What the hellwas happening? This couldn’t possiblybe their friend and given that Kagome had been altered…

Miroku seemed to be the only one willing to test that theory.

“Tell us about Kagome’s village,” he asked - narrowing his eyes as he gauge the half-demon’s reaction. It was typical by all accounts although the hurt and worry threw the monk for a loop.

“Seriously?” Inuyasha huffed before cringing and glancing down at the toddler who thankfully didn’t react negatively to his tone. Huffing in frustration, Inuyasha looked back up at the monk with a disgusted glare, “What the hellwould that even prove, huh? You ever seena car? A train? Tell me about cellphones. ’Course it’s me, you stupidmotherfu…”

“It’s him,” Miroku interrupted casually before yawning and glancing around, “It’s getting late. Shall we set up camp?”

Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha set then reset his jaw.

“Like I said, she needs clothes. And diapers. Probably milk. We need to find a village,” Inuyasha countered before letting out a self-depricating groan and looking down at his chest. Mumbling to himself about being an idiot, in less than a minute, he’d shrugged off the topmost part of the firerat robe  and had managed to create an overly large yet effective dress.Inspecting his handiwork and working on making sure the makeshift string belt was secure, Inuyasha huffed and shook his head, “Well that’s oneproblemsolved. But we still need to find a village. With an inn. She’s too little to be out here.”

Once again exchanging a concerned  glance with the noticeably less shocked monk, Sango cleared her throat before hesitantly voicing her agreement.

“There was a small village just below the mountain,” she offered as she pointed in the direction, “We can probably make it there before sundown.”

Scooping his tiny ward back up and placing her on his hip, Inuyasha kissed her temple quickly without thinking before heading in that direction.

“I think he’s broken,” Shippo whispered as he jumped on the slayer’s shoulder, “This is weird, right?”

“Heard that!”

“I stand by what I said!” Shippo called back - unafraid that Inuyasha might retaliate. Predictably Inuyasha merely scoffed but didn’t circle back to whack him upside the head.

Night had fallen by the time they reached the village and thankfully, there was a room. And very sympathetic villagers who provided what the tiny girl needed. The garment has clearly been heavily abused by a child - or children - at one point and the cloth diaper was makeshift but Inuyasha took great care in dressing his ward and even took the time to tie her hair up into an awkward half-ponytail.

Once everyone was settled and fed, Inuyasha continued surprising them by crawling onto the futon and spooning the baby against his chest  - humming a foreign melody until he was certain she was asleep.

While two of his friends felt like their mind was melting, Miroku managed to do the thinking for them. Inuyasha did indeed seem to know what to do which meant he’d observed or experienced such care at some point. Had taken mental notes that only someone who wanted a child would care to take notice of. It didn’t take a genius to realize what Inuyasha wanted more than anything was normalcy. That was entirely the reason he’d been willing to give up everything for Kikyo. Without a second thought by the sounds of it. 

With a sad yet proud little smile, Miroku saw the makings of a caring, doting father in his anger prone and emotionally constipated friend. 

And hoped that one day, Inuyasha would get that chance.

Years later, after far too much pain, that prayer was answered and not one friend doubted Inuyasha’s ability to be a good father. In fact, during those few days before Kagome randomly popped back into her usual form, even Sango began taking mental notes of her own. Inuyasha - for all his faults - understood the parenting assignment. Had clearly seen what to do and what not to do during his unnaturally long life. After being given the ultimate gift, his friends noticed the newborn phase didn’t seem to phase him. He knew how to burp a baby and was an expert at diaper changing. Was never frustrated when the baby woke him and Kagome up in the middle of the night. This arguably dense man also seemed to instinctively know what cries meant what and even knew how to swaddle his baby justright.

But the question of how this socially inept man knew these things always lingered. By all accounts, it made no sense. While one could chalk it up to the man watching others perform these actions, there was something about his practiced hand that left his friends wondering.

“How do you know what to do? You know far too much,” Miroku asked curiously one fine afternoon after Inuyasha had finished changing his newborn girl and gently rocked her in his arms until she feel asleep. When Inuyasha merely looked confused, the monk elaborated, “About infants. You seem to know what to do. I was never so confident in my actions nor as skilled.”

Inuyasha’s content smile faded.

“Mother showed me. You know, with dolls. Awkward as shit and pointless. And what I don’t know I just…thought about what I’ve seen. And what…what I wanted when I was little,” the half-demon mumbled sadly before making a face and cocking his head, “I remember Mother saying nobodyhelped her. Not with anything and she thought…somehow she knew…”

A soft disbelieving laugh as something seemed to click in his mind. Meanwhile, Miroku tried and failed to envision how such lessons were demonstrated. Those conversations must have been awkward - not to mention not child appropriate- and she must have known what Inuyasha’s life would be like. The obstacles against him ever using that information must have seemed insurmountable. And yet she took the time…

“Sheknew one day I’d have a family and I’d need to know what to do. She knew…”

 Letting out a soft disbelieving laugh, Inuyasha once again made a face and shook his head to clear it before his thoughtful smile faded. His expressive amber eyes wavering as a clearly devastating thought entered his mind, “But she knew she….wouldn’t be there. You know, I always thought she…she just…”

Jaw trembling, Inuyasha swallowed thickly and a single tear steamed down his cheek that he quickly wiped away. To his credit, Miroku didn’t tease the man for this rare showing of emotion.

“She cried a lot towards the end and I just…I thought it was because she knew there wasn’t any hope for me. That she believed my life would always suck and she felt bad about it but that wasn’t what she thought, was it?” Inuyasha managed thickly - talking more to himself than the monk who remained silent, “She knew it wouldn’t always be that way and she wanted to see it. Didn’t want to go. Maybe…maybe that’s why…she was sad…”

Seeming to remember he had an audience and was being ‘weak’, Inuyasha glanced at the monk in mild horror before quickly composing himself. Shaking himself and his face falling stoic, one passing by would never have suspected this man had just made a very emotional breakthrough. That being said, Inuyasha’s sudden shift and attempt to cover up his enlightening yet painful realization was marred by the lingering water lurking in the corners of his eyes.

“Awkward as shit though,” Inuyasha mumbled in his usual sarcastic tone as he cracked his neck and looked back down at his own little girl, “Was a stupid thing to teach a kid.”

Miroku bit his lip as a companionable silence fell over them but it was Inuyasha’s subtly shuddering breaths that made it clear Inuyasha was still very much ruminating over the fact that his mother had had hope for his future after all. So much so that she tried to prepare him best she could under the circumstances. This very clearly was not what the half-demon had believed until a few moments ago.

“If It’s any consolation, you make an excellent father. She would be very proud of you,” Miroku offered hesitantly. A few moments went by and Inuyasha’s face crumpled ever so.

“You really think so?”

Miroku nodded once as he reached up to squeeze his friend’s shoulder and another unexpected tear slid down Inuyasha’s cheek.

“Iknowso.”