#this is right and you should say it
I am obsessed with Fjord and Avantika’s relationship and how it must have impacted Fjord.
From the very beginning she was an antagonist. Deadly, dangerous, and with more knowledge than he had, and no matter what he did he just dug himself deeper into her clutches. She saw through all of his lies and always seemed to be one step ahead of him. And how tantalizing to find someone with answers.
And not only that, but she Saw him. She was cunning and savage and cutthroat. She was beautiful and sexual and desirable, and she looked at the M9 and saw Fjord and only Fjord. There’s no way that didn’t attract Fjord to her. For the man who’s never been Wanted, being chosen (and Chosen), is like a shark smelling blood.
And the whole time Fjord tells himself he’s keeping her happy to keep the M9 safe. He’s convinced he’s playing her. And he is. He’s using her, just as she’s using him. And they both know it. And yet… the attraction, the thrill and the jealousy of being Chosen, the only Chosen, and wanting to know if you’re special enough or the other is the favorite and they want to kiss each other as much as they want to strangle each other.
Not to forget: the M9 also sent him to her like an offering to appease Avantika. And they had no issue telling Fjord to sleep with her, while in the same breath planning to kill her. What kind of man do they think Fjord is? What kind of man does Fjord think he is?
So for Fjord he willingly goes to her, and he looks at her and knows she’s going to try and kill him. She looks at him and knows he’ll try and kill her. (And why? Is this jealousy? Is this just their nature? Is it due to their circumstances?) It’s not a matter of if, but when, and in the meantime they go to bed together. She presses her daggertip under his chin when his fingers get too close to her throat, and she cuts her lip on his tusks and they both taste blood.
I wonder if Fjord sits in the captains quarters on the Squall Eater, after he won, after he got her killed just hours after he was in bed with her. He didn’t get a chance to wash up and probably still has marks on his back, or bruises where she bit him. He sits in her room, and looks at her things, and knows they will never be hers again. And Fjord feels a quiet sense of power. Of triumph. He won, and she’s dead. He’s the one that Uk'atoa wants more.
Fjord is Chosen (he’s wanted). And he’s both ashamed and elated at the pride that fact gives him.
