#this is so bad lol

draco remembers their faces.

   he doesn’t want to say anything, but he does. he remembers every single horror-stricken look at the end of his wand throughout the last few hours of the battle of hogwarts, a battle he thought he could get out of. it was always foolish to think that, though, not when every wizard in the world was congregating to save the day.

   he was on the wrong side. he knows that now, leaning against the crumbled wall of what used to be his defence against the dark arts classroom. he remembers lessons spent messing around with his friends, teasing potter. he remembers lessons spent fighting off a panic attack as the mark on his arm burned hotter and hotter, how that stupid voice in his head got louder and louder and louder.

   now, though, he doesn’t have to worry about any of that. not lessons, not the voice, not people finding out the truth. now, he leans his head back and inhales, trying his hardest to untangle the mess that is his brain. he shouldn’t even be here, he knows; the school was evacuated hours ago for the safety of everyone involved, and to clean up the bodies left behind in the aftermath. draco, however, can’t bring himself to stand. he can’t bring himself to even think, let alone get on his two feet and follow his family to whatever bad decision they take next.

    the comforting quiet is shattered by the sound of footsteps. draco closes his eyes, tilts his head back even further, as if praying to some god he knows isn’t listening to him, a god that hasn’t ever listened to him. the footsteps get closer and closer until they are right beside him, and all draco can do is reach out and wrap his arm around your leg, just the tiniest gesture to let you know that he appreciates your presence, whether he verbalises it or not.

   because he always knew you would be the one to come looking for him, and you would be the one to find him. it’s always been that way for as long as he can remember. 

    you slide down the wall, moving draco’s hand to your knee where he rubs slow circles on the fabric of your trousers. it’s a comforting gesture, though it comforts draco more than it comforts you.

    “you shouldn’t be here, you know.”

   draco shrugs. that’s a very vague thing to say, considering draco doesn’t believe he should really be anywhere at all. 

    “have you been checked over by the nurses?”

   “they won’t look twice at me.”

   although draco can’t see you, he knows you’re hollowing out your cheeks, shaking your head like draco has just said the most stupid thing in the world. 

   “you’re so dumb sometimes.”

   “crabbe didn’t make it, you know.”

    your breath hitches. it’s enough to make draco open his eyes and look over, and his own breath hitches at the sight of you; there’s still dust coating your cheeks, ashes clinging to your eyelashes, that look of trauma still tucked behind your eyes. 

    he reaches forward and strokes a thumb along your bottom lip, ridding it of the dried blood there. “have youbeen checked over by the nurses?” 

   “i came looking for you.”

   “you say that like it’s an excuse.”

   you shrug, awkwardly glancing to the floor. “i have priorities.”

   draco releases air through his nose, not quite a laugh, but close enough that he feels his heart lift a little. “silly.”

    “that’s me.” you lean your head on his shoulder, shuffling closer until your knees are curled against draco’s leg. he holds you there, scared to let go, but scared to pull you closer in case the close contact somehow reminds you of what he has done, what his family have done, how terrible of a human he actually is. still, he doesn’t want to waste this moment, not when it could end at the blink of an eye.

   “draco?”

   his name, your lips; it’s how you are capable of moving heaven into hell without even trying. that’s all it takes.

   “hmm?”

   “it’s going to be okay. i promise.”

   he closes his eyes, lets his head fall upon your own. down the corridor, people bustle back and forth, voices echoing through the eerily empty hallways. “is it?”

    “when have i ever made a promise i can’t keep?”

    and draco knows it’s true; you wouldn’t promise him a thing unless you genuinely thought it was possible, and that’s kind of why he loves you so much. he’s never said it, those three words that hold so much weight, but he knows he does, and you know he does, and he kind of thinks you might love him, too. no one else has ever gone searching for him in times like these. no one else has ever promised him everything will be okay, especially not when he needs it most.