Things were finally starting to feel clear. Well, as clear as they could be. You thought there might always be a fog that settled above your head, weaving its way into your brain and around your lungs. Maybe you were wrong, though. Maybe that would evaporate someday, too. The truth was, you really didn’t know how things were going to continue to change. You didn’t know how many times you were going to be forced to step back and adapt. In their own twisted way, things with him before always seemed to feel familiar and safe; you were lucky to come so far before that was ripped away. Now, you just needed to learn and find some sort of solace in the unknown.
All things considered, you were okay. And, God, that was so strange and so relieving at the same time. Six months. Six months it had been now. So strange. Sometimes you felt out of your mind imagining how you could have been so torn apart; that person was foreign.
Still, you wondered how he was—if he was taking care of himself and setting boundaries at work and focusing on getting better. It was hard not to think about him. When you heard a song that reminded you of him or read a portion of a book that you knew he could talk about for hours, you felt that familiar ache behind your sternum. You wondered if it would still feel that way if he had returned your letter. Maybe the mystery was the pain.
