This is dedicated to: my whores that I adore, the unhinged, my darlings, my brats, and the coconuts. Because they specially requested this after the ask the other day. This is a companion piece to the amazing @iffervescent Porsche being sub psrt 2 found here. Please note that you will see that iffy and I vary some. That’s good, because you are actually seeing the way these two different perspectives view the same thing.Anything that I question might not be Dom, might just be a norm move with dominate traits, will not be added to this.
Beware my darlings, we are going to be show casing what not to do. In episode 5, Kinn could have written “How to be a Bad Dom for Dummies” I want to incorporate this because there are so many misconceptions about what a Dom should be and how they should act. These misconceptions can be pretty dangerous for a sub, who is just stepping into the kink community and unaware of what to be concerned about.
Iffy is going to go into detail about the morning of episode 5.
Where I want to start is after Kinn had the talk with his father. Kinn then punishes Porsche, through his bullies. Let’s say that Porsche fucked up and he deserved to be punished. I don’t agree because he asked Kinn, he’s been starting to get conditioned to listen to Kinn. So of course, he drank the drink when he got the nod. Let’s say he did deserve it though. It’s not the punishment that’s the problem it’s that he couldn’t do it himself and he gave his sub to his bullies.
Porsche came and asked Kinn if he could go out. Porsche still submitted even after he was wronged. Even if he deserved to be punished, for him to go right into submit like that. It should have been acknowledged. Instead Kinn essentially let Porsche go as a sub. He went from Dom to boss which is why Porsche was confused. Porsche has been steadily been conditioned to accept the dominance. Then Kinn saying “do what you want to do” is essentially acting as a boss not a Dom. I’m gonna let iffy go into more detail on this from Porsche’s perspective.
In my opinion Kinn got too used to the power Porsche gave him. He took it for granted, which you just don’t do. He did though, because shortly before, Porsche was still giving him submission. A submissive is not weak though. They can take back what they have freely given.
Porsche took back his power but instead of Kinn listening and recognizing. He got caught up in the pissing contest because he forgot that Porsche is naturally Dominant. He then tried to come down hard as a Dom Daddy with “Your Life Is Mine.”
A Dom is followed by a sub due to trust. To the knowledge that they will have their needs met. A Dom is only as good as their ability to instill confidence in their Dominance. If they fail at their ability to give guidance and leadership to their sub then they will see resistance. A sub is not weak, they can be resilient and stubborn and they do not have to follow a Dom.
Kinn chases after Porsche where he continues to show case his stupidity. He attempts to Dominate a Dominant in his own home, in front of his pack. He is so used to the rent boys easy submission that he is not recognizing the loss.
He has lost trust and he is apologizing. It’s not good enough considering but I’ll forgive him since they were interrupted. A Dom apologies by more than words. Doms have to physically show their subs that they are sorry. Their entire relationship is dependent on their sub’s willingness to trust them. No one wants to take commands or even listen to someone they don’t trust? If trust has been broken then it is going to take more than words to get it back. It’s going to take a physical apology to restore trust. To let you guys in on a little secret.. Porsche does forgive Kinn in that moment.
Episode 6 is when Kinn starts to act like a proper Dom. By not being a Dom. I mean he is still Dominant, but he is taking a step back and working to earn his submissive back. He can see that Porsche still cares by the care taking he is doing. Porsche still has a lot of hurt and anger to work through though. So Kinn is letting him be as bratty as he needs.
When Porsche gets too bratty with the “You’re such a burden.” He gets a gentle correction of “I heard that.” Then he goes back to letting Porsche get it out of his system. Listening to Porsche is another very good Dom move. As a Dominant to a sexual submissive, you have to recognize when they need to lead. There are times when they are knowledgeable and it would do harm to not recognize it. They can’t simply flip a switch and be submissive all the time. Especially when faced with a situation where they are used to being a Dominant.
Kinn provides food. He notices Porsche reaching for fish and provides it. He is preforming an act of care. He pulls Porsche close when he is cold, another act of care. He is earning his submissive back in the way that he knows means the most to his submissive. He pulls back from the kiss because he has not yet earned that right. While Porsche has shown he still cares, he has yet to submit.
When Kinn hears his name being called he goes right into Dom mode. He pulls Porsche along and then gives the non-verbal command to jump. Porsche jumps. Porsche has submitted. They aren’t balanced yet though, too much hesitant and they fall. It’s enough of a start for Kinn to go back to Dom status though. Kinn gives gentle correction to Porsche over the handcuffs with “That’s enough” and explaining why they need the cuffs.
After Kinn and Porsche have a heart to heart. Porsche shows his full submission during rock, paper, scissors. It humbles the Dominant who now realizes that he hasn’t given as much as he has gotten. While a D/s relationship is a power balance, the amount of care should not be unequal.
Notice that once Kinn has his submissive back. He takes the lead again. Commanding Porsche to come and showing him what to do. When they are out, he commands Porsche to leave. Again, the amount of care given should be balanced. While a Dominant wants control, it shouldn’t supercede the bratty submissive’s happiness.
