#tolkien characters
So, I’m watching LOTR for the first time and decided to rate each member of the fellowship as seen in The Fellowship of the Ring. Pls keep in mind that this review is objectively correct and completely factual. I will not be taking any constructive criticism at this time.
Aragorn: literally perfect in every way which I think should dock him a point but I will let it slide. Potentially the only competent person alive on middle earth. Does the right thing always. 10/10
Sam: most competent hobbit by FAR. Has a heart made of the purest gold. I want to kiss him. 22/10
Frodo: taking points away because I think people are too nice to him. Keeps trying to give the ring to ppl bc he just trusts whoever the tallest person in the room is. Hogs the magic items. Only person to figure out the “friend” puzzle and I think he is neat so 7/10
Merry: I like that he always corrects pippin but is never actually mean to him. Srs bsnss face lot of the times, looks a little too angry for someone who can’t fight for shit. 7/10
Pippin: I like him :3 11/10
Boromir: yeah he loses points for being a dick but he is the one true hobbit ally. More scenes of him holding a hobbit than not. Wasn’t able to save them :(( but he inspired Aragorn to realize that men and Gondor are worth saving and to believe in his own strength. has a nice smile. 7/10
Gimli: he’s hot but so far that’s about it ! Himbo thinks he can destroy the ring w an axe which is very sexy but also useless. most fuckable party member by far. 8/10
Legolas: just fucking prances around like a useless twink. His elf eyes haven’t helped us for shit so far. Very obvious that he COULD be more competent and chooses not to. He is pretty. 9/10
Gandalf: shittiest wizard I’ve ever seen. Casts like NO spells. Lost in the wizard battle. Didn’t know the answer to the puzzle he led them too. Has so much knowledge he refuses to share. Probably high. 4/10
I think, from now on, I will send this link to anyone who asks me to explain Fellowship.
