#tolkien-feels
Thinking of Balan, nearly fifty, very aware that he’s not going to be getting any younger, begging leave to stay with Finrod while his life lasted
Thinking of Andreth, who would not have troubled Aegnor when her short youth was spent and she could no longer run beside him
Thinking of this again and yeah, fealty and marriage are very different, but putting that aside…
I’m thinking very sad thoughts over whether Finrod sees himself as pitiful (in both senses of the word) and recognizes kinship with Andreth because at the end of the day, the two of them are the ones left behind, the ones who had to live with the choice taken by a race so unlike their own. (“The Eldar have one kind, and ye another; and each judges the others by themselves; until they learn, as do few.”)
Is it bitterness that makes Finrod speak of anguish that cannot be guessed until the time comes, and of unfinished memory being preferable to a grievous end? Would Finrod have chosen as Aegnor did, if Beor hadn’t begged leave to follow him?
Is there a reading where Beor genuinely doesn’t understand what grief he’s asking Finrod to bear, like Aegnor doesn’t seem to fully understand what sorrow he’s asking Andreth to bear? Like Elrond saying to Aragorn “You do not know yet what you desire of me.”
This post is a mess, I’m just full of conflicting emotions because there’s no happy solution here. Four people, none of which have the exact same thoughts, and yet not one of them can bridge the gulf and that just sucks
