Warnings: 18+! Sex Pollen, Cheating, Breeding, Public Sex
Here’s my first and only Enji fic. Enjoy!
You’re on patrol when you hear it: panting, grunting, cursing. It’s a man— that’s for sure— and it immediately puts you on guard, fists up, ready to activate your quirk if need be.
Anonymous asked: Any advice on how to deal with smut roleplay while in a closed relationship with someone else? Asking for a friend.
This one is not gonna be a post I suggest debating over, because everyone will have their own opinion. This is solely my own opinion based on my past. My major point to all of this is I suggest they discuss it with their partner, because each person’s thoughts on this can be a deeply personal thing.
Now, under the cut I’m going to discuss some reasons why it may be uncomfortable to certain folks, and I’m gonna mention relationships and contexts which imply abuse because of my previous experiences. That’s because this subject actually walks the fine line, and may be a place where this happens easier than others because it straddles real/online lives so very much. Please remember, all that follows is one man’s opinion/life, and you may discard it if you find it clashing with your own life. I just ask you read it critically and question both me and yourself while reading it to find your own opinion.
Above all. I believe all relationships are different, if they both make an agreement this is acceptable within their relationship, then they’re okay and not much more has to be said. If they lie about it, or hide it, or feel like they are doing something wrong by doing it? There’s a good chance they are in fact doing something against their own morals, but its so ‘fun’ they do it anyways.
Certainly the feeling like you are ‘controlling’ your partner’s life online can be kind of a gross thing to them, but if you simply aren’t comfortable with something it’s not controlling them for the sake of controlling them, but asking them not to do something that may hurt you. I’ve been gaslighted in a relationship like this, and it took me a long time to realize that them accusing me of trying to control them didn’t mean my personal feelings didn’t matter. They don’t have to do what you ask, but at the same time, you don’t have to date them.
If you’re not compatible on your outlook on smut RP with people outside your relationship, both of you may be hurt as a result when one of your feels stifled and controlled, and the other feels hurt and cheated on. It’s okay to not work out as a couple, don’t force someone into a box they can’t handle in order to make them your perfect partner. If you can’t abstain from it because it means so much to you that it’s worth more than the person you are with, or if you can’t bring yourself to allow them to do it, in order to respect their feelings (both sides of which are valid), you might have to move on to someone new rather than play games with each other’s hearts. It sucks.
But there are compromises for this, and working together to find where your limits are is important. Do not just shut down your partner on this subject and declare their side wrong. You’re both right, and you need to make a decision together on it. Fading to black may be advisable for those of you who are uncomfortable with it for example, acting the same way an underage player might. You may also figure out why they feel uncomfortable and work to eliminate those issues together by supporting and growing together but do not force things they cannot handle.
Why does this seem like cheating to some folks? If you RP very emotionally, mostly by putting yourself into the RP to the point of catching feelings as if you are there, or are feeling aroused because of it, you are having real emotions. It can make the partner feel like you’re telling them you are a closed couple, while doing the opposite. Even if it’s just telling a story. If you get off with someone else, and it begins to exclude your partner, or your feelings for your RP partner start breaking your real relationship up… it may be too far. This is a valid worry, especially for couples online who don’t have that physical ‘touch’ connection and have to rely on RP to stay close. Letting someone else take that from them, or show-off they have the same relationship while you’re supposed to be closed can be awkward, or painful for the now-third-wheel.
If you are both aware of what’s going on, discuss things like adults. You should, in my opinion, feel comfortable sharing that you are doing something like that. If you can, then you’re probably on great terms and it’ll be fun for both of you. Communication is important in relationships, and a lot of the issues are in fact based on the idea of lying to your datemate or hiding things from them (such as emotions) rather than actually cheating. Sure, you get secrets to yourself, yes! I’m not saying to get rid of that. But maybe notsecrets that hurt your relationship if you want it to be happy, healthy, long, and drama-free.
I focus more on the ‘what if no’ aspect in this because if it’s yes, you get to go fuck people and it’s awesome and there’s not much to say about that other than try not to so absorbed in it you forget your partner. Keep it in the bounds ya’ll set for your comfort zone. A relationship is based on two people on equal grounds, not one person dictating what is happening. If you eliminate them from a large portion of your life, and your decisions. If you lie, and hide things, and try to keep them away from the things you do… maybe you’re not ready for a relationship. Since that is technically, kind of, the point of dating someone. You date people to get to know them and end up sharing your life with them.
This is all a super complex subject, and I know people will have different ideas of what dating means, or what cheating is, about whether smut RP is cool or not in a closed relationship. You might not even have the same opinion depending on who you are dating at the time. I know I was uncomfortable because I knew a partner had the proclivity to dump people for their next RP partner. Now I’m comfortable because I’m close to someone, it’s never hidden from me, and I’m never forced to feel like they have to pick who they want to focus on today or that they may move on when bored. I have an equal thing.
So in the end it is so personal I cannot even say anyone feels like any part of this post honestly. This is all just my view, and how I might explain the reasons behind why it’s even an issue to begin with. Please do not harass anyone for their opinions on this post, nor should anyone feel obligated to do as I say. It is personal, and it is personal between the people involved. Outside parties may give information based on their own experiences, see: me, but they cannot tell you what is right for you. Just… be safe. Please. Respect your partner as a person, and communicate.
