#until ive made a talking heads reference

How Did I Get Here?

She wasn’t sure how she’d got here. 

Not in a literal sense. She’d taken a cab with friends, laughed and joked and slipped into all sorts of raunch once they’d arrived at the party. She could ever remember when she’d accepted the invitation, weak-armed by her friend with a simple ‘c'mon, it’ll be fun.’ Simple as that, it had slotted itself into her mental calendar and she’d bought the necessaries. Lingerie that barely exceeds the function of bra and panties. Stockings. Boots. 

But at a certain point, she would be following back the train of events, and she’d reach a dead end. She wouldn’t be able to continue back into the past any further, the trail would dry up and she’d just find herself stranded in the middle of memories, floundering. She knew how she’d found herself headed to the first event, knew about that first lover that had held her hands above her head and sent her nipples into a short circuit that made her squirm and squeal in the same moment, but she didn’t know how that had lead to all this.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a friend taking a cane to a girl who was strung up to the ceiling, a pair of ropes strung tight against her wrists like exclamation points. He had a half smile on his face, and hers was placid, at peace as that vicious length of bamboo came down on her rear, her legs, her chest and stomach. 

Someone else she knew, although only tangentially, had her face buried between a man’s (clothed) legs. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say the girl was sniffing him like a… well, she clearly didn’t know any better, as the girl’s head came up and she slipped back onto her feet, arms up ready and begging. Her tongue even came out. 

Laughing, she slipped back into the chair where she’d made her home. She was away in the corner, able to be a voyeur but separate from the action, tucked away enough that she wouldn’t be bothered by anyone, and she didn’t have to bother anyone in turn. She could just watch, enjoy, learn. 

There was something inexorable about her presence at events like these. She found herself in them, time and again, without ever consciously thinking that yes, she wanted to turn up. They were just there,and they were interesting, and what other reason could she ever need?

So much of the time, that was enough. In this world of exploration, she was increasingly finding that was more than enough. It was just that she hadn’t quite managed to get used to the voracious nature of her curiosity, just yet.