#we do fight about the cake
the fourth series reads as follows:
Apple Balancing…Potential …The Newbies
To catch up: First series…Second series … Third series
you know what? I had sudden doubts about posting an entire chapter about a dessert and I honestly sat and thought about if I should, then I remembered … this is Life and the Dessert is Life at our house … It should be at yours, too …
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Scully had to laugh. Mulder came home and talked her ear off the first day Harrison worked with him, “my God, Scully, I want to ask where she’s plugged in so I can disconnect her from her power source every so often. You were never this … this …” hands flapping helplessly, “exuberant.”
“Regretting it yet?”
By now, his shoes were off, and she was pressed against him in a full-body hug, his chin vibrating her skull, “I’ll give her time, but really, she’s the damn Energizer bunny gone wild.”
“Have you switched over to decaf yet?”
“Five seconds after she left the interview, I stole a case from the kitchen upstairs. Skinner saw me and asked, but when I told him Agent Harrison had been by, he held the door to the elevator for me and wished me luck.”
Smiling into his chest, “well, it’s Thursday, and you know what Thursday means, don’t you?”
“Cerulean blue punch and failed attempts at sobriety?”
“And one baby.”
“Rock, paper, scissors you for who’s staying straight and who’s drinking the Kool-Aid?”
Mulder lost.
“This could get dangerous, Mulder. I haven’t had a drop of punch in something like 11 months.”
“Dangerous … or the most entertaining thing anyone has seen in a very long time.”
Finally pulling away, grin widening with every moment, “I pumped enough to last Will through tomorrow, but I only get one glass, understand?”
“This should be a blast.”
&&&&&&&&
Not seriously concerned but wondering just the same, “Mulder, does my looking forward to blue-tongued liquor make me an alcoholic?”
“Personally, I think you just look forward to the hangover breakfast. It’s really the only time you don’t have to explain to anyone why you are making a Pedro’s Taco Hut run at 7:15am.”
“Think we should buy some now so I can just reheat them? Save me a step in the process?”
Detouring to their taco haven, “why not.”
Arriving with baby, bag of tacos, and Mulder, Scully entered the house and stopped dead in the doorway, “oh … my … God … she made cheese-stuffed Italian sausage meatballs and garlic bread and …” taking a deep sniff of the air around her, “oh, lord in heaven, she made the Dessert.”
Following with a bit of trepidation given her sudden and intensely frightening nasal superpowers, “what the hell is the dessert?”
Scully didn’t answer, sliding on stocking feet into the kitchen, calling out loudly, “did you use Heath bars or almond and chocolate?”
Maggie’s voice drifted down from upstairs, “Heath bars. What do you take me for, your Aunt Bethany?”
“I withdraw the question.”
Mulder, behind her with a baby and oodles of curiosity, given the mention of Heath bars, “I ask again, what the hell is the dessert?”
Skinner took Will from him, “a frightening looking layered concoction of pudding and Cool Whip and cake and the aforementioned Heath bars. There are two of them in the fridge, and Maggie swears there won’t be any left by tomorrow morning.”
Scully beelined for the refrigerator, opening the door to survey heaven in twin glass dishes, “was there any cake left over?”
“Maggie hid it somewhere.”
Scully sniffed deeply again, bloodhounds around the world instantly jealous of her flaring nostrils, her movements calculated and slow around the kitchen until she stopped at the pan drawer, “gotcha, crazy woman.” Opening it, she turned over the two nested pans and the Tupperware bowl, finding four pieces of dark chocolate cake, one of which immediately went into Scully’s mouth, “like three layers could stop me.”
The two men looked on in befuddlement, “who is that woman?”
Stashing the tacos in the fridge without really looking at the dessert, “I think she’s Scully, but the devilish mumbling is confusing me.”
“Is Maggie going to kill her when she comes in?”
Scully heard them and laughed, “it’s ‘Find the Cake.’ If you find it, you get it. If you don’t, you chase your little brother around until someone falls down in exhaustion.”
Maggie popped around the corner, spying her daughter, “are you going to share at all?”
“Under normal circumstance, highly doubtful.” She did, however, hand over the plate with two large chunks still left, “but since I’m generous to a fault, I will split my winnings in half.”
Mulder took the plate with the smallest amount of apprehension, “why am I still afraid you’ll bite my hand off?”
“You know me.” Kissing his cheek, a crumb or three of cake at the corner of her mouth, “and once again, it’s ‘Find the Cake.’ Mom makes the dessert we all devour, but there’s always cake leftover. She hides it. It turns us all against each other, and then it’s Battle Royale, followed by name-calling and pouting. It’s tradition.”
Mulder turned to his mother-in-law, “you know you’re all crazy, right?”
“You married her, remember that.”
Chewing his mouthful of cake, Mulder’s eyes wobbled in ecstasy, “and I am so glad I did. Had I not, I wouldn’t be related to the baker who made this.” Wondering if he should make a grab for the last piece, “why have none of them ever tasted like this before?”
With a smile, seeing the stealing debate happening, Maggie split the last piece, handing one to her daughter and one to him, “because the Dessert cake is special cake. If you ask any more questions, you’ll get none of the finished product.”
“My God, between Betty and her Punch and you and the Dessert, do you like what I did there, by the way, you can actually hear the capital letters in both Punch and Dessert, you’re on your way to an entire meal where no one knows what they’re eating.”
She swatted him on the backside with the towel she was carrying, “wait until we hit Kitchen Sink night. It doesn’t happen often but when it does, get out of the way.”
Looking towards Scully, whose eyes seemed to glow at the prospect of Kitchen Sink night, “what the hell is Kitchen Sink night?”
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Charlie showed up a little while later, Sarah and their kids gone for the night at her mother’s house, “got enough for me?”
Maggie looked up as her youngest son waltzed into the kitchen, “of course, but I thought you were working tonight?”
“Transformer blew about half an hour ago. I can’t do the updates, and the drive to Sarah’s parents is too long just to turn around and come home, so I thought I’d try to get a halfway decent meal here.”
“Hey, Charlie?”
Turning towards the voice, “yeah, Mulder?”
“Do you know about the Dessert?”
Charlie, for his part, flashed back to 10 years old, and his eyes began darting around the kitchen, reaching for the closest cupboard, pulling the door open so fast it bounced back at him, “where is it? Did you find it already? Please tell me you didn’t find it already?”
Scully laughed at him, bouncing Will against her shoulder lightly, hoping for something approaching a healthy yet non-spitty-up burp, “I beat you by an hour, Charlie.”
“Damn it.” Turning to survey his mother critically, “if I give you $20, can you bake me my own cake, like, right now?”
Mulder would have hugged all of them at that moment if he could have.
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The meatballs were phenomenal, warm, delectable, oozing cheese in every bite, he would have eaten more, but in the middle of dinner, Maggie got up and removed the bowls from the fridge, displaying the Dessert for all to see.
Scully and Charlie slow their chewing slightly.
Finally, dinner was put away, and after the dishes were cleared, the dessert bowls came out. Mulder feared for himself as well as the ladies who just arrived, that they would all be trampled in the clamor to the concoction, but heaping helpings were passed out in an orderly fashion, spoons used instead of scooping fingers, and he breathed a sigh of relief that he most likely would not have to throw himself between Charlie and Scully because someone got an extra dollop of pudding.
Then he scooped up a spoonful.
And ate it.
And forgot the world around him.
There had never been a Dessert, good God-damn, he was thinking in capitals as well as speaking in them, that had ever made him feel this good.
It was cool and slurpy and crunchy and cake-y and whippy and …
Laughter penetrated his cloudy haze and looking up, found all the ladies and Charlie staring at both him and Skinner. Now, he didn’t want to see that look on Skinner’s face ever again, but at this moment in time, he imagined he was wearing the same orgasmic, ‘if I didn’t just get fucked but good’ smile and glad he wasn’t alone in his embarrassment, grinned wider, “this isn’t too bad.”
Napkins, hastily grabbed dishtowels, and one pacifier flew at his head.
He kept eating.
Good to her word, there was nothing left in either dessert bowl by the time the Punch came out. Mulder leaned over to Scully, who was, hand to God, licking her bowl, “you got room in there for Punch?”
“There’s always room for Punch, and given I’ve been off the stuff for a year, I don’t think I’ll be drinking that much anyway.” Then, kissing him full on the mouth, pudding taste everywhere, “you sure you’re okay being designated diaper-er tonight?”
He would have answered, but he was too busy pulling her close to return the kiss, Charlie whining about them in the background while Janet began shuffling the deck.
