#we had too much fun with this
Listen you guys, I’ve been a Starbucks barista for years and y’all have to answer me this:
What would our Terror boys’ Starbucks orders be???☕️⚓️
So! Together with guidance from the brilliant @solomontoaster,@frederickdesvoeux, and @kaserl, I’ve compiled a proposed scenario for The Erebus and Terror Crews Go to Starbucks:
The Admiralty/Sir John Franklin have provided the boys with Starbucks gift cards instead of bonuses, here are their orders:
Dick Wall – Owner of the Erebus Place Starbucks franchise, thinks he’s in direct competition with John Diggle of the Terror Plaza Starbucks.
John Diggle – Owner of the Terror Plaza Starbucks franchise, doesn’t realize there’s a competition, has only ever really interacted with Wall when he’s needed to borrow supplies.
Sir John Franklin – Royal English Breakfast Tea (with milk)
James Fitzjames – Fancy iced drink like an Iced Caramel Macchiato, no matter how cold it is; always with light ice and extra caramel syrup.
Graham Gore – Cookies & Cream Frappuccino.
Dundy Le Vesconte – One of the Refreshers, typically Strawberry Açai, or anything with Matcha, literally anything at all.
James Walter Fairholme – Hot Chocolate. Have u looked at this beefy man. Have u heard him. Thank you goodbye.
Harry Goodsir – Looks like he’d order a Hot Chocolate but actually just straight up chugs a Venti Americano in like five minutes.
Freddy Des Voeux – (In the show) Black coffee. Pure bitter. Probably boiling hot. (Historically) Caramel Ribbon Crunch Crème Frappuccino or any other stupid sugary bullshit on the menu. (Both versions will, however, shill for pumpkin lattes.)
Henry Collins – Caramel Apple Spice Cider, warmed up all cozy.
Stephen Stanley – Black coffee with Exactly™ one sugar cube’s worth of sugar, what do you mean Starbucks doesn’t have sugar cubes.
John Morfin – Anything with a lot of caffeine for him to chug along with an excedrin (for the headache).
John Weekes – Honey Oatmilk Latte.
Edmund Hoar – Vanilla Crème.
John Bridgens – Tall Chai Latte, nice and simple.
Henry Peglar – Traditional little elegant Cappuccino. (Though they’re never as good as the ones John makes for him at home.)
Thomas Blanky – One single. Espresso. Shot. At like. Midnight. Or, under dire circumstances (like having to come back to work the day after surgery), a Caffè Latte with as many shots as legally allowable.
Francis Crozier – Black coffee, spiked afterward. (But regardless, it has to be of a certain quality; he’s a bit of a snob about blends, honestly.)
Thomas Jopson – Cheapest blend with a little milk and/or cream, no sugar.
Alexander MacDonald – Brown Sugar Espresso.
Edward Little – Maximizes the caffeine content usually, even if he doesn’t actually like the taste of the resulting drink, so like, typically a Mocha with an unhealthy number of espresso shots. (If he somehow has a day off – which is never – he would treat himself to a peppermint hot chocolate. You know. In theory. It’s a nice dream, at least.)
George Hodgson – Unicorn Frap. He only managed to order one once, and it was the single perfect moment in an imperfect life.
John Irving – Pike Place Roast with a very restrained amount of cream and sugar when it’s cold out; iced black tea when it’s not, though he’s always really wanted to order the Iced Peach Green Tea, he can never really find it in himself to admit that.
Solomon Tozer – Cold Brew or Nitro Cold Brew aka pretty much the only kosher coffees outside of Americanos (based on this Star-K online guide), and Sol’s not about to order an Americano.
Thomas Armitage – Cold Brew or Nitro Cold Brew (whatever Tozer is getting), brings his own tumbler to avoid the clear plastic cup and adds cream and sugar once Tozer isn’t looking, even with the Nitro when adding your own cream does not blend well.
Tom Hartnell – Honey Almondmilk Flat White (almond rather than dairy milk because he’s grown so used to wrangling Jartnell’s Numerous Food Allergies that it’s second nature at this point.)
Several people who didn’t get the “gift card bonus” are joining in:
Silna – Would get a water, since she’s been dragged into the store already, but why on earth would anyone agree to pay for a plastic cup? There are better options, and she knows where to find them.
Lady Jane Franklin – London Fog Tea Latte.
Sophia Cracroft – Seasonal frappuccino or a Pink Drink when they’re available.
Sir James Clark Ross – Rotates through a variety of seasonal and featured drinks, but always asks for whipped cream with his order regardless of what it is.
Anne Coulman Ross – Cinnamon Dolce Latte (And she’ll steal Sir James’s whipped cream, of course.)
Sir John Ross – Espresso con Panna, but he refuses to use the Italian name, just orders it as an espresso shot, with a Tall cup of whipped cream on the side.
Sir John Barrow – Also an Espresso con Panna, which he insists is the same drink as what John Ross ordered, though Ross adamantly denies this.
