#well thats a meloncholy thought

History

There’s an unspoken, unthought truth that hovers in the air during the first time you fuck. It’s a vicious, nasty little fact, and one that you have to be aware of, even if you don’t want to acknowledge it. Ringing in your ears, it can easy sound like defeat, like you’re passing the finish line a long time after the first place.

And that’s the truth; that you’re not the first. That you’re the latest in a line, and every movement and technique is another testament to that fact. The way you curl your tongue around the head of me, a trick you learnt when you were 17 and overeager. Clenching your cunt around the width of me, perfectly in time to every thrust. Learnt at 19, when you’d had a little more practice, had the basics down. The noise you make when you come, perfected a thousand times, day after day, month after month. Refined through instinct and repetition, staying with you as you went from a girl to a woman.

Maybe it’s not that much of a thing, really. Maybe it’s just something boys think about, because the thought of my mouth being where another mouth has been, my cock being where another cock has been, slipping a hand inappropriately between my legs and uncomfortably squeezing my manhood, threatening it. Maybe it’s one of those things that I’ve come to accept, and even come to relish.

Because I’m not coming in last, until the next guy slots in last behind me. Because that first was a clumsy attempt at sex, the next a little more refined. I get to enjoy the culmination of your sex life, every success and every lesson learned from every mistake. And then I get to shape you, in whatever way that I can, leaving you with a few more signatures for the next guy.

And tonight, that’s enough.