#wheelie d
In 1933, Giuseppe Zangara was executed in Florida’s electric chair. He had fatally shot Chicago mayor Anton Cermak in Miami the previous month when he tried (and failed) to shoot President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt.
When informed of the news, Roosevelt proceeded to get fershnikit on vodka bucks and sing Polish folk songs in honor of his departed friend from Chicago. Aides didn’t have the heart to tell FDR that Cermak was Czech.
In 1941, US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signed the Lend-Lease Act into law; under the provisions of the act, the US could “loan” war matériel to allied countries, with the understanding that the other countries would return surviving equipment after World War II ended. In practice, very little of the matériel was returned after the war.
In all, the United States provided over 650 million dollars (in 2017 valuation) of aid to Great Britain, the Soviet Union, Free France, the Republic of China, and other allied nations. Stalin himself remarked on several occasions that without such aid, the Soviets could not have withstood the German juggernaut.
During the negotiations with the British over this law, Roosevelt, realizing the potential of these loans, asked British Prime Minister Winston Churchill if he understood the concept of “vigorish.” Churchill, who was shitrock drunk all the time but couldn’t handle himself like FDR, assumed that the President was (as Churchill would do) slurring his words.
“Oh, yesh.” He replied. “We musht and will make a vigoroush proshecution of thish war.”
The American President momentarily lost his legendary poker face and allowed himself a small grin. “Okay, pigeon–uh, Winston. Just sign on the dotted line.”
Later, upon passage, Roosevelt, realizing the importance of this law and the solemnity of the occasion, proceeded to get utterly blitzed on Negronis and rolled around the White House singing “Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?” until his aides begged him to stop.
In 1933, the day following his inauguration as US President, Franklin Delano Roosevelt declared a bank holiday to calm runs by panicky depositors aiming to withdraw their holdings before their banks failed. Once that spiral starts, a lending institution is likely doomed. (If you’ve seen It’s a Wonderful Life, this is what George Bailey prevented from happening at the building and loan with his honeymoon money.) The legislation to do so was passed and signed on March 9th; when banks reopened on March 13th, the panic had subsided, and transactions went back to more-or-less normal.
After the declaration, Roosevelt said “Now where can Wheelie D get a drink in this shithole town?” He then proceeded to the Old Ebbitt Grill and got completely housed on Bermuda rum swizzles while singing “Happy Days Are Here Again” over and over.
In 1945, at his personal retreat in Warm Springs, Georgia, US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt suffered a cerebral brain hemorrhage and died. He had been elected President four times and had seen the United States through a crippling depression and almost through the largest conflict in world history.
In the afternoon of the 12th, while sitting for a portrait, Roosevelt said “I have a terrific pain in the back of my head.” Then he passed out in his chair. No one was terribly concerned at first, because his aides simply assumed that the previous day’s hangover had finally hit the old man.
In 1945, US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt went to bed for what would turn out to be his last night’s sleep. He must have had some kind of premonition, because rather than getting obliterated on mint juleps, he had his barman serve him a single Last Word, and, softly whistling “Moonlight Serenade,” he retired for the evening.
