#world heritage posts
the difference between a bug and a feature is your negative mindset. the website is suppose to look fucked up actually. plz do not be rude
Date of origin: July 15, 2010
Reblog this to prove your blog was made before the February 2022 tumblr resurgence
i am terrified about what apollo may do with this post
Date of origin: 9th January 2017
Encounter: Fruit Lawyer
GROKK JUST WAKE UP WHAT FUCK ATTAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
(snicker)
grokk thinks the shark feels bad for eating the dog. grokk understands this
“Why do people like a character who’s committed war crimes but hate this other character just because they’re annoying” because it’s fiction Susan, and being annoying in fiction is a greater sin than being a supervillain, because it won’t make me want to read about them. It isn’t difficult to understand
“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” (Oscar Wilde)
The war crimes are fictional but my annoyance is real.
you know what, fuck you *unkills your character*
this is the funniest fucking reply, everyone else go home
okay but I did notknow that there is a story about f. scott fitzgerald nervously showing ernest hemingway his penis because zelda said he couldn’t satisfy a woman with it and ernest hemingway was like “lol no dude you’re fine”
what are the modernists even
the best part of that story in context is that before they pull out their dicks, hemingway spends the better part of a chapter physically describing fitzgerald in great detail, claiming to be grossed out by him but obviously, obviously uncomfortably attracted
oh my god, it got better. I just went to find an excerpt and
Scott was a man then who looked like a boy with a face between handsome and pretty. He had very fair wavy hair, a high forehead, excited and friendly eyes and a delicate long-lipped Irish mouth that, on a girl, would have been the mouth of a beauty. His chin was well built and he had good ears and a handsome, almost beautiful, unmarked nose. This should not have added up to a pretty face, but that came from the coloring, the very fair hair and the mouth. The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more.
ernest hemingway calm down and control your thirst a little
“The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more“ is a hell of a line
No Homo: A Literary Masterpiece
People on this website will be like “I’m shakig op this quote goes hard” and the quote is like “if god twere a hot dog I would eat only half”
if i were a drink i’d be cherry vanilla coke
if you were a drink what would you be
everyone’s like “bleach” or “sewage” please calm down edgelords
Go a little fart
be ded
- Go a little fart
- Dig a little dee
- Reach a little
- Catch the Cat
- and pass it on
roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it:
Thanatos explaining that he’s the god of death, not hades
Thanatos explaining that it applies to animals too
Poseidon explaining that he is the god of the seas and oceans
Zeus explaining why he can’t keep it in his pants
Hermes explaining why he gotta go fast
dionysus explaining why he’s Like That
All of these are so accurate it hurts
Also Hermes, God of messengers
And Eris, Goddess of discord and chaos
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
fake:
i’m the only thing preventing the mailman and the vacuum from killing my entire family
this was such a confusing and frightening post before i read the name of the blog that posted it
Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad
malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated
smad.
hey real quick can anybody help me find this image that I’ve seen before here on tumblr. it looks like this
the button doesn’t necessarily say “Elucidate the Rapture” but it does say something that’s kind of lengthy and has religious connotations. the woman pushing the button has an expression of indescribable smugness. there might be other buttons on the machine (?) she is pressing.
FOUND IT
Oh this is only the first image in the Eschatron 9000 Series
and the finale, because of the Tumblr image limit
thanks this is part of an even grander incomprehensibleness than I could have expected
I cannot believe that this is a website where you can ask “hey i think i saw a weird image once” and put a bad stick figure drawing of it and someone will be like “oh yeah that’s the first installment of a 12-part post-ironic apocalypse fever dream photoshop series” and just hand you a dozen of the most unhinged images you’ve ever seen in your life, that still have a better three act structure than most modern cinema
HELLO FANFIC AUTHORS IT’S TIME FOR A VOCAB LESSON
- wanton: sexually immodest or promiscuous
- wonton: a type of dumpling commonly found in Chinese cuisines
YOUR CHARACTERS SHOULD NOT BE MOANING LIKE A CHINESE DUMPLING OKAY THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT
either way, things are sure gonna get
steamy
GET OUT
FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.
what was yesterday, cat?
I’m not missing it this year.
World Heritage Post
infinity war is a dumb movie cause why would you bother all those heroes to fight thanos when all you have to do is get ant-man inside his asshole, make him grow back to his normal size and that’s it purple joss whedon is dead
i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom
my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u meaners told
who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’
WHO CHANGED IT FROM FUDGERS TO FUDGERS I WILL KISS THE POPSICLE DONT TICKLE ME JAMBOREE
I made stew. It was awesome. I love potatoes.
i luv u too
wait what was in the stew
Honest to god I could write entire books on the fucked up little micro societies that exist solely in isolated gmod servers
my buddy and I were crawling some servers on gmod one day, just dinking around and being mild nuisances. we found one server where everyone had some ridiculous rank/title–various mythical creatures and wizards and stuff. We bothered someone badly enough (probably made a big mess of barrels or something) that we got put in jail, but we weren’t really interested in playing gmod as much as just goofing off, so we hung around the server for a while. the residents were chatting pretty casually, until someone, in a frantic tone, says “Janus is coming! We need to get this place cleaned up!” Janus logs in, and he has the title of God. Someone sheepishly asks “hey what’s up Janus?” Janus replies with an ear-splittingly loud buzzing static noise that drowns every sound on the server out.
me and my buddy absolutely lost our minds
coolfriendlynicefriendbuddyguy:
people w words like cool friendly nice friend buddy guy etc in their URL I automatically trust u
whats your credit card number
NO FUCKIN WAY
a-sweetheart-being-50-deactivat:
Saw this on FB. Soo funny!
OMG!!! I’m laughing sooooo hard right now.
@bamababygirl-7@freakonaleashgurl2 I had to add these.
“Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order.”
I apologize.
insert that YOU chihuahua post where theyre being pinned down i cant for the life of me find it
This one?
Oh, Charles. The hubris. Honey. You had to know this was a possibility. Why would you tempt Apollo like that.
I love how we don’t even need Apollo to be captioned, it’s just “he’s holding a dodgeball and looks Greek statue, of COURSE it’s Apollo delivering the gift of prophecy unto unsuspecting tumblr users”