#wowza idk what this is

is it all you ever wanted?

kicking off the new year with a ‘sinclair twins being emotionally hopeless’ fic. warningbecause it’s a bit angsty but nothing more than my usual offerings and also there is alcohol mentioned. more notes in tags. bold is sign.

“You don’t ever leave here without me, you know better than that! Don’t be so stupid!”

The night that they almost died, that wasn’t the first time Bo had said those words to him and it wouldn’t be the last, Vincent was sure of that at least.

Bo didn’t like him leaving town alone and usually Vincent listened. If Vincent needed anything from the store, he asked Lester the next time he stopped by Ambrose to get it, or he’d put whatever he wanted on Bo’s list, or sometimes he and Bo would go together. Usually, he didn’t need much else beside what he had in Ambrose. Ambrose was his home, his work, his life was all there.

Sometimes, Vincent thought about Baton Rogue. Thought about the two years he had in his little breeze block dorm room. Thought about the late nights in the library and eating ramen in bed and listening to his roommate read his midterm essay aloud to him to get his opinion. Thought about the girl who lived down the hall who made the best pot brownies he’d ever had (ever will have, he thinks) and about the hangover he had after his 21st birthday, when his roommate dragged him out to a bar and he drank tequila like it was going out of fashion. Thought about how he called Bo drunk from the bar because he felt guilty that they weren’t together. It was their first birthday they weren’t together to fight over who blew out the birthday candles. Bo, to his credit, was just as drunk as Vincent, slurring his words as he slumped against the phone table in the hallway, trying to keep his voice down.

They’ve argued before about it. When he first came home it took a month for them to fall back into their old ways. For Vincent to give up his sulking, as Bo had said, and to settle back into what his life was always meant to be.

Nowadays, he pretends it was his choice to go back to Ambrose. To go back home. He does this to spare Bo’s feelings.

He does it because Bo is sensitive.

Bo didn’t like when Vincent left town alone. Because he cared about Vince, cared about his twin and wanted to do everything he could to keep him safe. Because if anything happened, he couldn’t forgive himself.

Vincent puts up with it. He doesn’t leave town enough for it to be a problem. Now and then he’ll take the truck out without telling Bo, only to drive to the outskirts of town for a while. He’ll come home and, if Bo has even noticed, he’ll be pacing the family room of the house. Their conversation can go one of two ways; “I was worried sick” or “Where the fuck have you been?”.

Vincent apologises, usually, and Bo feels bad because just look at him: Vincent has no where else to go, how can Bo be so harsh?

Sometimes Vincent just shakes his head, and says, “You’re not my keeper.” Vincent knows something that Bo won’t admit.

Bo won’t ever leave Ambrose. Not really.

He can go on supply runs and stop at bars and talk to girls. He can do whatever he wants, for a while. But he’ll never leave.

Bo’s scared.

Bo’s not got the balls to leave, not that Vincent thinks he ever could. Could never bring himself to leave his kingdom behind. No, no.

What they’ve built is safe and familiar. As lonely as they are, they’re the Kings of their castle, the crumbling house on the hill, and Bo is too scared to let it go.

Bo is always scared, so he keeps Vincent close and tells him it’s for his own good.

Vincent won’t leave. He couldn’t. Bo needs him, and if Bo wants to die in Ambrose, Vincent supposes he will too.